Saturday, April 19, 2008

Home on a Saturday night
Its a dull life I have
All work and no play
If you have "Dicovery" channel
Then you may have seen this

I love the World

stolen from A Welsh View

Britain's Got Talent
13 year old Andrew Johnstone singing on his audition
Amazing singer
Pie Jesu

Britain's Got Talent
The incredible...Gin the Dog

There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole.
They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse.
Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said,
"Mmmm, I smell sausage!"
Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said,
"Mmmm, I smell pancakes!"
Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles.
Baby mole said,
"The only thing I smell is molasses."


At her father's wake, a woman told her priest that ever since she was a child she
and her father had discussed life after death.
They had agreed that whomever went first would contact the other.
They had discussed this again just two weeks before his death.
He died in her home and a few days after his death the smoke alarm in her garage went off.
She had lived there 28 years and it had never gone off before.
She couldn't turn it off so she called the security company that installed it.
The next morning the smoke alarm sounded again
and the reason finally dawned on her.
She said aloud, "OK dad, I missed the signal yesterday but I get it now!
Thanks for letting me know that you are safe on the other side.
Now turn the thing off so I don't have to call the security company again."
The alarm fell silent.
She immediately called her priest to tell him the good news.
His response:
"Dear lady, if every time your father sends you a message
he sets off the smoke alarm,
just WHERE do you think he's calling from?"

My wife is off on her almost annual trip to Thailand and Phuket early next week
Hope she doesn't enter any beauty competitions whilst she there
She will come up against some stiff opposition

Two prawns are best friends and swimming around in the sea.
One is called Justin, the other one is called Christian.
It's pretty boring being a prawn, so they were swimming around,
disscussing what it would be like to be a shark.
"I'd love to be a shark." said Christian.
"Yeah, me to." said Justin.
"It'd be a lot of fun."
"Anyway, I've got to go " said Christian.
"See you".
So Justin is swimming home, still wondering what it would be like to be a shark,
when he comes across a cod.
"So you want to be a shark?" Said the cod.
"Yeah" said Justin "Howd you know that?"
"I am a magic cod and if you wish it, I can make you a shark."
Justin thought about it, and decided to go ahead with it.
The next day Justin wakes up and discovers he is a shark.
He decides to go tell all of his friends but when he gets to all of them,
they run away.
"No No!! Go away!!!" The they all said, even Christian.
So Justin is now swimming around, depressed that he hasn't got any friends
when he comes across cod again
."Change me back" he said in desperation.
"Alright" says the cod.
So the next day Justin wakes up and finds he is a prawn again.
He is so exited he goes to tell his friends
."No! Go away Justin, you'll eat me!" says Christian
"No, you don't understand!" says Justin
"I've changed, I found cod, I'm a prawn again Christian!"

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times,
so they decide that she'll become a hooker.
She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says,
"Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred dollars.
Any questions, I'll be parked around the corner."
She's standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks,
"How much?"
She says, "A hundred dollars."
He says, "All I got is thirty".
She says, "Hold on,"
and runs back to Harry and asks,
"What can he get for thirty?"
"A hand job," Harry replied.
She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty bucks is a hand job.
He agrees.
She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE length.
She stares at it for a minute, and then says,
"I'll be right back."
She runs back to Harry.
'What's wrong?' he asks,
"Any chance you could lend this guy seventy bucks"

stolen from
Miss Cellania

Deer Hunter

On their wedding night, the young bride went up to her new husband.
"Since we're married now, we can arrange our sex life like this:
In the evening, if my hair is done, that means I don't want sex at all.
If my hair is somewhat undone, that means I may or may not want sex.
And if my hair is completely undone, that means I want sex."
"Okay sweetheart," the groom replied.
"Just make sure, when I come home, I usually have a drink. If I have only one drink,
that means I don't want sex.
If I have two drinks, I may or may not want sex.
But if I have three drinks, your hair doesn't matter."

Video Request
For my mate Fred Rea who Iknow is a fan of
Charles Landsborough...What Colour is the Wind
Inspiring song about a blind child talking with his dad about the colour of the wind and relating it to his life.
WHAT COLOUR IS THE WIND written and sung by Charlie Landsborough
What colour is the wind,
Is it yellow, red or blue
When he's playing with my hair,
Does he do the same to you
When he's dying does his colour fade
Is a gentle breeze a lighter shade
Just like his friend the sea
The wind feels blue to me
When the blackbird starts to sing,
Do the flowers hear him, too
When he's pouring out his heart,
Tell me, what do roses do
Do they cast their scent upon the air
And is fragrance just a rose in prayer
Giving thanks to God above
For the blackbird's song of love
Blow, wind, blow
Wild and free
My Daddy says
You're a lot like me
I know each colour
Its shape and size
I've seen them all
With my Daddy's eyes
I know that grass is green,
I've touched it with my toes
And snow is purest white,
I've felt it with my nose
But my favorite colour has to be
The colour of your love for me
And Daddy,
I've been told
That love is always gold
My Daddy says
You're a lot like me
What colour is the wind


could be four!!!

This Gay goes to the doctor and him to test him for AIDS.
A week later he goes back and the doctor confirms his worstfears -
the tests showed positive.
The Gay is destroyed.
He breaks down and begs the doctor to prescribe him something, anything, that'll help.
"Well," the doctor says.
"Go down to the health food store and buy a kilo of prunes,
then go to the chemist and get some strong laxatives;
then wander down to the supermarket and buy a bottle of Tobasco sauce
and some chilli powder.
Go home and mix it all together and heat it on the stove for 20 minutes....then drink it!"
The Gay is a bit dubious,
"And that'll cure the AIDS?" he asks
."No," says the doctor smiling,
"but it'll teach you what you what your arsehole is for!"
Bloke goes to the doctors with a golf ball up his arse.
The doctor gets him to bend over
and spread his cheeks so he can have a proper look,
after poking and prodding the doctor says
.Oooh….. I don’t know what to do, it’s in a fairway.

Two of Country Musics greatest icons
Merle Haggard and Tammy Wynette
Today ,I started Loving you again

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