260




Its "her indoors" birthday,
so I thought it was nice if she had breakfast in bed




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Some of you may have seen this before
But Istill think its one of the funniest videos on You Tube

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A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy old castle.
At the end of the tour the guide asks her how she enjoyed it.
She admits to being a bit worried about seeing a ghost
in some of the dark cobwebby rooms and passages.
"Don't worry" says the guide,
"I've never seen a ghost all the time I've been here."
"How long is that?" asks the girl.
"About three hundred years."

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Cambridge Bay is a community of 1350 on the southeast coast of Victoria Island,north of mainland Arctic West.
The town of Nunavut is situated here

Here are some items for sale at the local supermarket

Thats $60.73

not to worry, the weathers great

Thanks to Don H

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Last night I was in a rare tender mood.

I made love to my wife and afterward held her close.

"I love you terribly," I whispered.

"You certainly do," was her reply.

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Bo Diddley


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Top 20 Ways To Say, “Your Fly Is Open”

20) The cucumber has left the salad.

19) I can see the gun of Navarone.

18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.

17) You’ve got Windows in your laptop.

16) Sailor Ned’s trying to take a little shore leave.

15) Your soldier ain’t so unknown now.

14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.

13) Paging Mr. Johnson… Paging Mr. Johnson…

12) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.

10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!

9) Mini me is making a break for the escape pod.Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!

7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage

.6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!

5) You’ve got your fly set for “Monica” instead of “Hillary.”

4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction…

3) You’ve got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

2) I’m talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

And The Number One Way To Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped…

1) I thought you were crazy; now I see your nuts.

stolen from....Xtreme Quips

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Cartoons.....Animal Kingdom

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Have you got a trunk Monkey

[watch them all]


Thanks Geoff C

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An American tourist was walking along a London street on a windy day,

when he noticed a beautiful woman walking towards him.
Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the woman’s dress up,

to reveal that she was wearing no knickers.
The American, trying to sound as English as possible, said to the woman:

“It’s a bit airy, isn’t it, love?”
The woman scowled and replied angrily:

“What the ‘ell did you expect, feathers?”

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Four perfectly round circles

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Two bees met in a field.

One said to the other,

"How are things going?"
"Really bad," said the second bee.

"The weather has been cold, wet and damp,

and there aren't any flowers, so I can't make honey."
"No problem," said the first bee,

"Just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars.

There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fresh fruit."
"Thanks for the tip!" said the second bee, and flew away.

A few hours later the two bees ran into each other again.
The first bee asked, "How'd it go?"
"Great!" said the second bee.

"It was everything you said it would be.

There was plenty of fruit and, oh, such huge floral arrangements on every table!

I made my quota easily."
"Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee.

"That's my yarmulke," said the second bee.

"I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."


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Cold Chisel

with probably their best hit


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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

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Baby Boomer Bummers:

⌂ - It takes you an hour to undress ... and another to remember why.

⌂ - You think "libido" is an Italian pasta.

⌂ - When people ask you what your favorite food is, you tell them "soft."

⌂ - You keep repeating yourself.

⌂ - You sit down to breakfast and hear "Snap, Crackle and Pop,"

and you haven't poured milk on your cereal yet!

⌂ - Your Pharmacist calls you by your first name.

⌂ - You join a "mall-walking" league.

⌂ - Your underwear starts creeping up on you ... and you enjoy it!

⌂ - You find music videos too suggestive ...

But you can't remember exactly what they are suggestive of

.⌂ - You start wondering why they started printing everything in smaller type

.⌂ - The clothes you've been saving 'till they come back in style' have come back in style.

⌂ - It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night

.⌂ - You keep repeating yourself.

⌂ - You start beating everyone else at Trivia games.

⌂ - You think of a "quickie" as napping at a traffic light.

⌂ - Conversations with people your age often turn into "Dueling Ailments."

⌂ - During sex you fantasize you're with someone else.

⌂ - During sex you fantasize you're someone else.

⌂ - You wake up with that awful "morning after" feeling ...

and you didn't do anything the night before.

⌂ - You notice that joggers are passing you ... while you're driving.

⌂ - You keep repeating yourself.

⌂ - Your favorite song is playing in the elevator

.⌂ - You begin to think that a few more handfuls of cologne or perfume "couldn't hurt."

⌂ - Your new easy chair has more power options than your car.

⌂ - What's "good" for you either gives you diarrhea or constipation.

⌂ - When among friends at a party, regularity is considered an acceptable topic of discussion.

⌂ - Your childhood toys are selling on e-Bay for more money

than you have in your savings account.

⌂ - You light the candles on your birthday cake and everyone starts singing "Kumbaya."

⌂ - You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

⌂ - You get a telephone call at 9 p.m. and they ask, "Did I wake you?"

⌂ - Your car battery goes dead because your turn signal was on for two weeks straight.

⌂ - You start believing that you really did walk five miles to school in the snow.

⌂ - You are obsessed with the thermostat

.⌂ - When you talk about "good grass" you're referring to the neighbor's lawn.

⌂ - You keep repeating yourself.

⌂ - Your arms are too short to read the newspaper

.⌂ - The only reason you're ever up past midnight is because of indigestion.

⌂ - You find Blog posts like this one tasteless and insensitive!

stolen from Hale over @......It occurred to me



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Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.