274Its hard to be Humble
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The Message
"One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on.
He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.
So he called on a female angel and sent her to Earth for a time.
When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.
Well, he thought for a moment and said maybe I had better send down a male angel;
to get both points of view.
So God called a male angel and sent him to Earth for a time.
When the male angel returned he went to God and told him yes,
the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good.
God said this was not good.
He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good and encourage them,
a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what that E-mail said?
Oh! You didn't get one either?"
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stolen from.......Slavenka and Obi
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American Politics and Halloween
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A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV
when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner, love?
Chicken, beef or lamb?"
He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
"Bugger you," she said. "You're having soup.
I was talking to the cat."
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Canadian Beer
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Reaction Test
See how you go
I performed very poorly
Good luck!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/reaction_version5.swf
thanks Liz Z
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Good luck!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/reaction_version5.swf
thanks Liz Z
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Billie Jo Spears
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From my wife
Sometimes, I think I love my dog more than I love my husband.
Sometimes, I think I love my dog more than I love my husband.
Then again, he slobbers all the time,
he's always hungry,
and he won't stop bothering me even if I swat him with a newspaper.
The dog doesn't.
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THIS IS INCREDIBLE...
Read all the Numbers....
Slowly and in Order!!
Be Careful not to MISS ANY
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30
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TOMORROW I WILL POST THE ABC's
It so easy to amuse old people.
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Clever Ads
thanks Wayne W
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I know not many interesting things happen in Saskatchewan,
but I think this is beautiful.
Hope you like these pictures also.
Avro Lancaster Bomber
Here's some shots from the Saskatoon control tower as they gave a couple of passes,
Avro Lancaster Bomber
Here's some shots from the Saskatoon control tower as they gave a couple of passes,
then went to Winnipeg.
There's only two of them still flying in the world
and one of them flew over Saskatoon.
The Avro Lancaster, one of the most famous bombers of World War 2
Thousands of Canadian aircrew served with the RCAF and the Lancaster Squadrons.
Over 4 hundred Lancaster MK X's were built in Canada
and shipped overseas for flying duty.
And throughout the entire world, only two still fly today,
one in England and one in Canada.
The bomber is one hundred and two feet long and just under 70 feet wide.
It can reach top speeds of 2 hundred and 87 miles an hour
and has four Rolls Royce Merlin Engines.
The fly past is a tribute pass to veterans and a farewell salute to the Cameco Canada Remembers Airshow.
thanks Liz Z
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Kiwi Army Mascot
click on "this"
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A veterinarian was barred from performing surgery because ofhis poor record.
However, the veterinarian ignored the ruling and continued to do surgery.
On a tip the police busted him just as he was to operate on a sick bird.
However, the case was thrown out of court.
Why did that happen, y’all ask?
However, the case was thrown out of court.
Why did that happen, y’all ask?
Because . . .
. . . it was an ill eagle surgeon seizure.
stolen from.......Archies Archive
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. . . it was an ill eagle surgeon seizure.
stolen from.......Archies Archive
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Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week
and found the boss waiting for him.
"What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically.
"You better have a good excuse for a change."
Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss.
The wife decided to drive me to the station.
She got ready in ten minutes,
but then the drawbridge got stuck.
Rather than let you down, I swam across the river --
look, my suit's still damp --
ran out to the airport,
got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter,
landed ontop of Radio City Music Hall,
and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."
"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed.
"No woman can get ready in ten minutes."
PHILS PHILOSOPHY
PHILS PHILOSOPHY
some Dilbert’s one liners…
1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you’re in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. J
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have troubleputting on your pants.
12. It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer… what I can’t stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed papertray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy whoinvented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it. J
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O’clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can’t convince them, confuse them. J J
21. It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. – Cunino’s Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker. J
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success…. Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again,neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive,fattening
or in love with someone else
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Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.
