Phils Phun

its almost the weekend again and time for more footy

Some of us have to work

Not to worry it will soon be holiday time [28days to go]

BANNED BEER COMMERCIAL

He drives me to drink [Now thats what I call a pot]

Nuns ran an orphanage for girls in a rural part of Georgia.
One day, the Mother Superior called in 3 teenage girls who
were about to leave and seek their way in life.
'You have led a very sheltered life and you are going
into an extremely sinful world,' she said.
'I must warn you that men will take advantage of you.
They'll do anything to get their way.
They'll take you to restaurants, buy you drinks and dinner,
then back to their apartments and motels where they'll undress you,
do terrible things, give you twenty or thirty dollars and kick you out.'
'Excuse me, Mother,' one of the girls asked.
'You mean men will take advantage of us and give us cash?'
'Yes child, why do you ask?'
'Because the priests only give us candy!'

A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours

and gets horrible sunburn.

He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted

after being diagnosed with second degree burns.

He was already starting to blister and in agony.

The doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding

with saline and electrolytes, a sedative,

and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, rather astounded, said,

"What good will Viagra do him?"
The doctor smiled,

"It'll help keep the sheets off his legs."

A common sign when travelling in outback Aussie

Here are a couple of road trains

A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.

The doctor directed her to read various letters

with the left eye while covering the right eye.

The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which

that the eye doctor, in disgust,

took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through,

covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.

As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.

"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde,

"But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."

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You are suffering form what is technically known as an Electra Complex,"

the psychiatrist is informing his blonde female patient.

"In other words, you are in love with your father."
The blonde breaks down into hysterical sobbing.
"Now, now," comforts the shrink.

"It's not all that bad."
"Yes..(snif)...yes, it is," the blonde gets out between sobs.
"I have no chance at all...he's a married man!"

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A girl was visiting her blonde friend,

who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs likeThat?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde.

"They're Watch dogs!"

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Some one has to do it

This puppet man has a cool job

No wonder she is smiling

One day mom was cleaning her son's room and under the bed,

she found a bondage S+M magazine.

This was highly upsetting for her.
She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word.
She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said,

"Well, I don't think you should spank him."

Curiousity kiled the cat