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Its cold and wet here in the west [in Perth ] not so much in the regional areas
Heavy rain is forecast for tomorrow
Only 15 days before I head off to sunny North Queensland
Have a great weekend and hopefully your footy team wins
or whatever sport you follow



Some Aussie humour to kickstart your weekend
BEAUTY and the BLOKE




The Tides Out



I'm going to make an assumption here that the Australian girl Schapelle Corby
who was convicted on a drugs charge
in Bali in 2005 made it into the world news.
Briefly the then 28 year old Schapelle was convicted of
importing 4.1 kgs of cannabis into Indonesia in her surfboard bag,
she has steadfastly denied thischarge claiming
that baggage handlers at Sydney airport must have tamperedwith her board bag.
Despite these claims she was convicted and sentenced to 20 years in prison.
she is currently serving this sentence at the notorious Kertokakam Prison inBali.
She lost an appeal to have her sentence reduced or quashed in 2006,
this has led to the internet appearance of "CONVICTION" perfume.


[Borrowed from Holties House]




THE POWER OF MONEY


that reminds me, I must buy a lotto ticket

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,

understanding, economical,

and a good cook.

But the law allows only one wife.

How can you possibly not love the Irish?

These were actual "Personal Ads" in the Dublin News:

Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area.

Seeks gorgeous sex addict who is interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club and has been known to start fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock in the morning.

Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man,

lately rejected by longtime fiance, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.

Ginger haired Galway man, a troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shitty after a few scoops

seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes . . . maybe more.

Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Roscommon,

seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.

Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes,

seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.

Optimistic Mayo man, 35,

seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed super model, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister.

-------------------

Two law partners hire a new cute young secretary,

and a contest arises between them as to who can bed her first,

even though they're both already married.

Eventually one of them scores with her,

and his partner is quite eager to hear how things went.
"So what did you think?" asks the partner.
"Ahh," replies the first lawyer,

"my wife is better."
Some time goes by,

and then the second lawyer goes to bed with the secretary.

"So," asks the first guy, "what did you think?"
The second guy replies, "You're right."

-------------

A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his soon-to-be ex-wife.

"Please describe," said his attorney,

"the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife's infidelity."
"Well, I'm pretty much on the road all week," the man testified.

"So naturally when I am home, I'm attentive to the wife."
"One Sunday morning," he continued,

"we were in the midst of some pretty heavy love-making

when the old lady in the apartment next door pounded on the wall and yelled,

'Can't you at least stop all that racket on the weekends?'"

A co-worker told George that George's wife was being unfaithful

everyday at 1:30 in the afternoon with George's best friend.

Worried and hurt, George ran home at 1:30 to see if this was true.

He came back to the office contented and relieved.

His co-worker asked him how it went.

"Look," said George.

"Don't start such terrible rumors!

That guy isn't my best friend...I don't even know him."

FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP FOR ME....

For centuries,

Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.

Most of us have naively thought this was connected with marriage or religion,

but the Indian Embassy in Canberra has recently revealed the true story.

When a Hindu woman gets married,

she brings a dowry into the union.

On her wedding night,

the husband scratches off the dot to see whether

he has won a convenience store,

a service station,

a doughnut shop or a motel in Australia.

If nothing is there,

he must take a job in India answering telephones

Giving technical advice to either Telstra, Optus or Citibank.
[thanks Glynis Geen]

Roy Orbison "Leah"

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Would like to hear from you

Take care

Phil