Sunday, January 13, 2008



95
A huge bun fight happened this week between the Australian and Indian Cricket teams
after the second Test in Sydney
With alleged racists taunts allegedly been made on the field
The Indian player was suspended for three matches
This caused the Indian Cricket team to do a huge dummy spit
Even threatened to take their bat and ball and go home
Since 1997 Indian players have been charged with 43 infringements for
offences including, intimidating umpires, abusing rival players, ball tampering,
time wasting and widespread dissent, with one player with a total of 12 offences
and the player at the centre of this latest incident, already has 5 indiscretions


[Cartoon by Jason Chatfield]


After the defeat of Team India,
the team members were not able to show their faces to people
and they chose not to go in public
and rather just pack up in hotel rooms.
Dravid could not resist for too long to be in the hotel room
and still not be able to go out shopping.
So he disguises himself as another man and goes out.
He meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets him “Hi Dravid!”
Surprised for having been caught he comes back
and makes himself up as Muslim woman - in Burkha etc and goes out.
Yet the same woman greets him “Hi Dravid!”
Dravid comes back determined to give it yet another try with the make up of a Hippie wig
and shorts etc
. All in vain, the same lady catches him again and greets him “Hi Dravid!”
Bewildered by now, he could not help asking,
“How did you recognize me?”
The lady replied : “I am Sachin!”
----------


Mrs Hughes will put a smile on your face



Here are some women trying to learn Spanish
so that they can communicate with their Nanny's
warning ..contains some strong language]



Couldn't resist posting this when Isaw it






The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12 years old.
He was short and thin.
He had no coat.
He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night's chill.
Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand.
Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents,
I asked him what was wrong.
He told me his sad story.
He said that he came from a large family.
He had three brothers and four sisters.
His father had died when he was nine years old.
His mother was poorly educated and worked two full time jobs.
She made very little to support her large family.
Nevertheless, she had managed to skimp and save two hundred dollars
to buy her children new winter coats.
The young boy had been dropped off,
by his mother, on the way to her second job.
He was to use the money to coats for all his siblings
and save just enough to take the bus home.
He had not even entered the mall when an older boy grabbed
one of the hundred dollar bills and disappeared into the night.
"Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked.
The boy said, "I did."
"And nobody came to help you?" I queried.
The boy stared at the sidewalk and sadly shook his head.
"How loud did you scream?" I inquired.
The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, "Help me!"
I realized that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help.
So I grabbed his other hundred and ran to my car


Todays Cartoons











A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently
came upon a farmer working in his field.
Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man,
"Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?"
Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work the farmer replied,
"Naw, these are soybeans."
"You don't understand," said the preacher.
"Are you a Christian?"
With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said,
"Nope, my name is Jones.
Jim Christian's farm is a mile south of here."
The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer,
"Are you lost?"
"Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer.
"Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked.
This caught the farmer's attention and he asked,
"When's it gonna be?"
Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied,
"It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day."
Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow,
the farmer remarked,
"Well, don't mention it to my wife.
She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three days."
----------
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says,
"My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper.
He calls it a poem and they give him $50."
The second boy says,
"That's nothing.
My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper.
He calls it a song and they give him $100."
The third boy says,
"I got you both beat.
My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper.
He calls it a sermon,
and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
A funny Fairy Tale





Three women were sitting in an obstetrician's waiting room for their appointments.
The redhead announces proudly,
"I'm going to have a boy!"
How do you know? one of the others asked.
"I was on top, so I'm going to have a boy."
The brunette says,
"Well, I'm going to have a girl!
I was on the bottom, so I'll have a girl."
With that, the blonde bursts into tears.
What's wrong? the others ask.
The blonde looks up and cries,
"I'm going to have a puppy!"
----
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order.
He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlightsand a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid,
went to the Kitchen and said to the cook,
"This guy out there just ordered three flat Tires,a pair of headlights
and a pair of running boards.
What does he think This place is ... An auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said.
"Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up,
and running boards are 2 slices of Crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde.
She thought about it fora moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans
and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires,headlights
and running boards,
you might as well gas up!"



Men with Signs???









More Men stuff





A Ladies view of Men
Men are like ... newborn babies. They're cute at first, but you get
tired of picking up their crap.
Men are like ... computers. Hard to figure out and never enough memory.
Men are like ... coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
Men are like ... chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like ... power tools. They make a lot of noise, but it's hard to get them to work.
Men are like ... remote controls. Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV.
Men are like .... shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.
Men are like ... vacuum cleaners. They're not much fun,
but at least you get to push them around.
Men are like ... road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell.
Men are like ... soap operas. They're fun to watch, but don't believe everything you hear.
Men are like ... pillows. Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.
Men are like ... old car tires. Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.
Men are like ... plastic wrap Cheap. Clingy. and very easy to see through.
Men are like ... horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like .. cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
Men are like ... plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.


Cartoon of the Week

[thanks Gordon Hamilton]


If you like like playing Flush Poker
Then here is a fun link that will keep you occupied for as long as you want
Now and then its good to pause in our
pursuit of happiness and just be happy
More signs of happiness













A lot of people ask where the saying
"You gotta be kiddin' me" came from.
Here's the story behind it....
Way back, George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops.
They were packed into the boats.
It was extremely dark and storming furiously.
The water was tossing them back and forth.
Finally Washington grabbed Corporal Peters
and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern.
He ordered him to keep swinging it so they could see where they were heading.
Corporal Peters stood up braving the wind and driving rain,
swinging the lantern back and forth.
A while later a big gust of wind hit and threw Corporal Peters
and his lantern into the Delaware.
Washington and his troops searched for hours trying to find
Corporal Peters but to no avail.
All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one their favorites.
An hour later Washington and his troops landed on the other side,
wet and totally exhausted.
He rallied the troops and told them they must go on.
After awhile, Washington and his men could go no further.
One of his men said, "General, I see lights ahead."
They trudged towards the lights and came upon a huge house there in the woods.
What they didn't know was this was a house of ill repute hidden
in the forest to serve all who came.
General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.
The door swung open and the madam looked out to see Washington and all his men.
A huge smile came across her face to see so many men standing there.
Washington spoke up, "Ma'am, I'm General George Washington and these are my men.
We're tired and exhausted and desperately need warmth and comfort for a while.
Again the Madam looked at all the men standing there and with a broad smile on her face said, "Well General, you have come to the right place.
We can surely give you warmth and comfort.
How many men do you have?"
Washington said,
"Well ma'am, there are thirty two of us without Peters."
She looked at him and said: "You gotta be kiddin' me."



There is a traditional sport in Ireland, "cliff shoving."
It involves a small rodent, the rarie, being pushed off a cliff.
The competitor who pushes the rarie over the edge with the least effort wins.
Of course, these days people aren't so keen on blood sports.
So, the rodents are nudged into a small shallow pit.
Recently, an Australian competed.
During a break, he mentioned that he'd had an 18-hour journey to get there.
"But I knew it would be a long flight," he said.
"After all, it's a long way to tip a rarie."





And I think to myself
What a Wonderful World












Penitentes
these amazing ice spikes (generally known as penitentes due to their
resemblence to processions of white-hooded monks)
can be found on mountain glaciers and vary in size dramatically:
from a few centimetres to 5 metres in height.
‘initially, the sun’s rays cause random dimples on the surface of the snow.
once such a dimple is formed, sunlight can be reflected within the dimple,
increasing the localised sublimation.
as this accelerates, deep troughs are formed,
leaving peaks of ice standing between them’ - new scientist




Today's Music videos

Ronnie Milsap....Lost in the Fifties tonight


Acker Bilk....Stranger on the Shore




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