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Australia......... Don't go there

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However on a more serious note,

here are some fabulous aerial pictures of this great land.

Mount Trafalgar in the West Kimberlys @ the mouth of the Prince Regent River

Bowling Green Bay.. south of Townsville Queensland

Cattle transport near Kunnanurra in Western Australia

Gosse Bluff meteor crater in the Northern Territory

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OH DEAR!

A woman goes into to see the psychiatrist about her low self-esteem.

She is unhealthy, pale, and obese.

After tearfully explaining her predicament, the doc says,

"hmm, yes, could you please lie on the floor under the window?"

"Now over next to the door."

"Now under the bookshelves."

"Thank you."

He then occupies himself with writing.

The patient, exasperated, interrupts him and asks if he has anything he can offer her.

"No, he says, you need to see your internist about your poor health."

"Then what was all that stuff you had me do, lying on the floor?"

"Oh, I'm having a new white sofa delivered next week

and was wondering where to put it."

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The best ever pub sign

Husband Creche

is he getting under your feet?

why not leave him here

while you SHOP

free creche...just pay for his drinks
thanks Chris Bone
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Ideal Business hours

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Driver's License..................
When I went to get my driver's license renewed,

our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed.

The line inched along for almost an hour

until the man ahead of me finally got his license.

He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk,

"I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.

"The clerk looked at his picture closely.

"It's okay," he reassured the man:

"That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."

stolen from...Big Shot Bob in Texas

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Cartoons

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A man was laying on his back and fell asleep on the beach under the noon day sun.
He suffered a severe sunburn to his legs.
He was taken to the hospital.
His skin had turned a bright red and was very painful and had started to blister.
Anything that touched his legs caused agony.
The doctor prescribed continued intravenous feedings of water and electrolytes,

a mild sedative and Viagra.

Rather astounded, the nurse inquired,

"What good will Viagra do him in that condition?"
The doctor replied,

"It will keep the sheets off of his legs."

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Music

Here is one of my all time Favourite songs

Its the Trio

Linda Ronstadt, Dolly Parton and Emmy Lou Harris

with their version of the Jimmy Rodgers 1930 hit

Hobo's Meditation.........featuring Linda

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Romantic Weekend

This husband and wife are staying in a hotel,

and after a romantic evening wining and dining they go off to bed.

However, as soon as they settled down,

the man (not quite ready for slumber) leans over and whispers softly,

"Hey snuggle boopy boops, your lickle hubby wubby isn't quite ready for bye-byes yet."

The wife takes the hint and says,

"OK, but I have to use the bathroom first."

So off she goes but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet

and lands flat on her face.

Her husband jumps up and exclaims in a concerned tone

"Oh my little honey bunny, is your nosey-wosey all right?"

No harm is done, so she jumps into bed

and they have mad passionate sex for three hours.

Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again,

but on her way she trips over the same piece of carpet

and again lands flat on her face on the floor.

Her husband looks over and grunts

"Clumsy bitch."

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This Australian video is neither funny or Phunny

However I post it because it has a powerful message
Children see...Children do

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Creative Photography

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A bartender is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door.

He answers the door and there's a bum asking him for a toothpick.

The barkeep gives him one and shuts the door.

After a few moments, there's another knock at the door.

Thebartender opens it again to find yet another bum. requesting a toothpick.

The bartender gives the bum one and shuts thedoor again.

Because everything in jokes like this involves sets of threes,

there's a THIRD knock on the door.

This time, though, the bum only wants a straw.

"Why not a toothpick?"

"Someone threw up on the sidewalk,

but all of the good stuff is gone already!"

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The best landing ever


thanks Geoff Collins
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Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site are understood to be in the public domain. If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them, Iwill gladly do so.

Contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.