210

Sam/Sammy the Koala meets his saviour

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What a Smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Shortly after class, a student approaches his economics professor and says,

"I don't understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?"

The professor replied, "I don't have time right now,

but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with my weekend project,

I'll be glad to explain it to you."

The student agreed.

At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor's house.

The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.

They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said,

"First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket
with as much water as you can."

The student did as he was instructed.

The professor then continued,

"Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it.."

The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.

The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times,

and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.

The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?"

The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to
make the shallow end much deeper.

The student didn't think the economics professor was serious,

but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.

However, after the 8th or 9th trip between the shallow end
and the deep end, the student began to become worried that his
economics professor had kinda' lost it.

The student finally blurted out,
"All we're doing is wasting valuable time and effort on an unproductive
pursuit.

Even worse, when this process is all over (and there's absolutely
no way to know when that might be),

everything will be exactly the same as before,

so all we'll really have accomplished is the complete
waste of both our time and our efforts which,

if otherwise directed, might have had a chance of yielding a productive result!"

The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile,

"Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill."

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The Internet is full of" "pictures taken at the right moment,"

here are some that I haven't seen before

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MAYBE THEY’RE NOT SO DUMB?
This guy pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows

to make sure his dog had fresh air.

The dog was stretched out in the back seat,

and the guy wanted to impress upon him that he must remain there.

The guy walked to the curb backward,

pointing his finger at the car and saying emphatically,

“Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!”

A blonde driver of a nearby car gave the guy a startled look

“I don’t know about you, sir,” she said incredulously,

“but I usually just put my car in park.

Duh!!!”

Thanks Duke

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A beautiful young woman was appearing in court to face a public
disorder charge.

When her name was called out in the court foyer, she brushed her hair,

checked her make-up, took a deep breath, and walked
into the court and took to the witness stand.

The charges were read out, and she was asked how she pleaded.

"Not guilty," the woman answered emphatically.

The prosecution council then approached the woman and said:

"Is it true that on the 11th of December, last year,

you committed acts of gross indecency with a one-legged dwarf -

who was waving a union jack - on the roof of a car,

whilst travelling at over 100 mph through the center of London,

in a blizzard, and you were totally nude?"

The woman composed herself, looked straight at the prosecution council and calmly said,

"What was the date again?"

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Oh Yeh!!!

stolen from Archies Archive

Funny Pepsi Commercial

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Todays Cartoons......Men

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The Annual Oscar awards are about to happen
Quotes About "Hollywood"

"Hollywood is a place where the stars twinkle until they wrinkle." - Victor Mature

"A trip through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat." - Wilson Mizner

"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you $50,000 for a kiss

and 50 cents for your soul." - Marilyn Monroe

"Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors." - Walter Winchell "Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom." - Candice Bergen

"Hollywood is a place where a man can get stabbed in the back

while climbing a ladder." - William Faulkner

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Did you know that Madam Tussauds, the wax museum,

make all the bodies for their wax dummies in-house,

but contract out the heads to special craftsmen?

It's because the heads are more detailed, of course,

and need especially close attention.

The workshop is situated on the south side of the Thames,

whereas the museum is on the north,

so what Madam Tussauds does is charter a barge

to deliver the heads on a regular basis.

And so this barge is known as..........................

The Launch that Shipped a Thousand Faces.
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The latest market research shows a growing trend

for eating high-fibre cereal for breakfast,

with the result that people are experiencing

greater regularity in their bowel movements.

With trends like that, who needs enemas?
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Hangin's too good for a man who makes puns…

He should be drawn and quoted.

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Instrumental Hits

Time is Tight......Booker T and the MG's

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An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack.

The family drove wildly to get him to the emergency room.

After what seemed like a very long wait,

the ER Doctor appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face.

Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid he is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating."

"Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock!

"We've never had a Democrat in the family before!"

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Giant Rat

This Rat weighing in @6lbs and with a 12 inch tail

was captured in Fuzhou, Southern China

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Last Evacuation Drill !
XYZ Office

A fire alarm rang at 6 PM when almost all shift employees were in the office (approx 5000).

As usual the entire office was evacuated within 3 mins & all employees gathered outside the office.

10 mins passed...... ......... ......... .........

.5 more mins passed.

Security Officer ... Announcement starts,

"Dear Employees - With melting heart I am making this announcement

that for many of you it will be the last evacuation drill,

as we are laying off almost 80% of employees.

So whose ever ID card does not work when moving back inside

the building are laid off & all their belongings would be couriered to them tomorrow.

We followed this approach as we don't want to fill the email box size

with layoff mails & also to avoid any fight inside the office".

Hope you have nice career ahead.

Please move forward and try your ID card

Good luck.
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A couple of posts back was a video of the roller coaster ride at Cedar Park , Ohio

My good friend Duke sent me these great pictures

Makes you wanna go there and take a ride

Thanks Duke

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Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car.

They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car

and hisses through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on.
"What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican,"

says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin,

but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn.
"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Marilyn.

She opens the window and shouts, "Get the f***k off our car!"

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Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.