271


Something to brighten up your day
Linda Ronstadt at her very best
Great Song, Great version, Great Singer


We have been gay, going our way
Life has been beautiful, we have been young
After you've gone, life will go on
Like an old song we have sung
When I grow too old to dream
I'll have you to remember
When I grow too old to dream
Your love will live in my heart
So, kiss me my sweet
And so let us part
And when I grow too old to dream
That kiss will live in my heart
And when I grow too old to dream
That kiss will live in my heart
So, kiss me my sweet
And so let us part
And when I grow too old to dream
That kiss will live in my heart
WHEN I GROW TOO OLD TO DREAM
From the film "The Night Is Young" (1935)(Sigmund Romberg / Oscar Hammerstein II)

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On a bitterly cold winter's day several years ago in northern British Columbia,
an RCMP constable on patrol came across a motorcyclist,
who was swathed in protective clothing and helmet, stalled by the roadside.
"What's the matter?" asked the Mountie.
"Carburetor's frozen," was the terse reply.
"Pee on it. That'll thaw it out."
"Can't."
"OK, I will."
The constable lubricated the carburetor, as promised.
The bike started and the rider drove off, waving.
A few days later,
the RCMP detachment office received a note of thanks
from the father of the motorbike rider.
It began: "On behalf of my daughter, who recently was stranded ....."

stolen from....Miss Cellania
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Ain't that the truth

stolen from....Slavenka and Obi

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Wrong Horse


Thanks Liz Z
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Concentrate !!!

A young lad and his mother were walking down the street one day

when suddenly the boy yelled out excitedly,

"Mother, Mother, Look at that bowlegged man!"

His mother immediately hushed him explaining

it was not polite to make fun of bowlegged people.

The next day the same thing happened,

"Look mother, there's that bowlegged man!"

The mother grabbed the lad by the arm saying,

"When we get home you'll be punished for this outburst."

When they got home, she gave her son a work by Shakespeare,

"Go to you room and read this book.

You can't come out until you have finished it.

Maybe you will learn something from this punishment."

Two days later they are walking down the same street

when the boy again spots the person he had been making fun of:

"Hark! What manner of men are these,

Who weareth their legs in parentheses?"

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For the Kiwi's

stolen from....Slavenka and Obi
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Ray Davies and the Kinks

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There's a nudist colony for communists.

Two old men are sitting on the front porch.

One turns to the other and says,

"I say, old boy, have you read Marx?"

And the other says,

"Yes ... I believe it's these wicker chairs."

stolen from......Miss Cellania
------------------------------------------------

Terrorist Flasher

Morris and his wife were vacationing in Hawaii

when a violent earthquake occurred at 3 AM.

As soon as morning came,

the man went down to the hotel lobby to read the newspaper about what had happened.

As he was reading the newspaper,

a local gentlemen steps up and asks him if he had felt the earthquake during the night.

"I sure did. My wife and I are here on vacation from the mainland,

and I have felt other earthquakes,

but I have never felt a quake like that one, it was terrible.

I thought the building was going to come down on us."

The guy asks, "What were you doing during the earthquake?"

"Gee, I was having the best sexual performance of my life

while that earthquake was happening."

"Is that right? And what did your wife think about it?"

Morris said, "Well, it damn near woke her up!"

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LOL



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Ladies and Gents

A man enters a barber shop for a shave.

While the barber is foaming him up,

he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer.

"Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth

and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.

After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech,

"And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber.

"Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

PHILS PHILOSOPHY

Life is short

Play more



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Computer thoughts

Home is where you hang your @.
The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.
Great groups from little icons grow.
Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
C: is the root of all directories.
Don’t put all your hypes in one home page.
Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
The modem is the message.
Too many clicks spoil the browse.
The geek shall inherit the earth.
A chat has nine lives.
Don’t byte off more than you can view.
Fax is stranger than fiction.
What boots up must come down.
Windows will never cease.
Virtual reality is its own reward.
Modulation in all things.
A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
There’s no place like home.com.
Know what to expect before you connect.
Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.


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Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.