329

Australia's brilliant political satire team of Clarke and Dawe

do a great job here in exposing the fundamental

and terrifying ridiculousness of the Euro debt-crisis

and the world's teetering economic state.

stolen from Slavenka and Obi

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The Louisiana State Police received reports of illegal cockfights

being held in the area around Crowley,

and duly dispatched the infamous detective Boudreaux to investigate.

He reported to his sergeant the next morning.

"Dey is tree main groups in dis cock fightin'" he began

."Good work. Who are they?" the sergeant asked

.Boudreaux replied confidently, "De Aggies, de Cajuns, and de Mafia."

Puzzled, the sergeant asked, "How did you find that out in one night?"

"Well," he replied, "I went down and done seen dat cock fight.

I knowed the Aggies was involved when a duck was entered in the fight."

The sergeant nodded, "I'll buy that. But what about the others?"

Boudreaux intoned knowingly,

"Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved when summbody bet on de duck."

"Ah," sighed the sergeant,

"And how did you deduce the Mafia was involved?"

"De duck won."

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Canadian Jeep ad




thanks Liz Z

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As I was trying to pack for vacation,
my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.
At one point, she said, "Mom, look at this,"
and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained,
I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said,
"Mommy gonna eat your fingers!"
pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again
.When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers
with a devastated look on her face.
I said, "What's wrong honey?"
"Mommy, where's my booger?"


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Those Funny Animals

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The Little finger

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Two old, successful businessmen met at a resort

.One who had recently retired was describing his life:

“I get up late in the morning, have a light breakfast ,

and then I lie down on my Veranda for a while and relax

.“In the afternoon I go inside for lunch, have a great salad, fruits and cold fish,

then I spend the rest of the afternoon boating or playing golf or tennis

.“When it starts to get dark I have a great dinner with the finest wines

.“Then I smoke a Cuban cigar.Then I go lie on my Veranda again.”

The other gentleman acknowledges that this sure is a life to be envied

.Later he reported the conversation to his wife

.She asked: “What’s his wife’s name?“

Her husband said:

“I’m not sure, but I think it’s Veranda.”

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BLAST FROM THE PAST

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Vegetarian Humour

Q. What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?

A. We have to stop meating like this

.Q. What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat?

A. Someone who lost their veg-inity

Q. Have you heard of the garlic diet?

A. You don't lose much weight, but from a distance, your friends think you look thinner

.Q. Why do people kill animals?

A. Fur convenience steak

.Q. How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. I don't know, but where do you get your protein

Q. What do you call a militant vegan?

A. Lactose intolerant.


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Mrs. Smith had cooked a halfway decent meal one night,

and the old Smith had been goin' at it with gusto.

He was about halfway finished his meal when

he took a good long look at the potato

. He looked over at Mrs. Smith and said,

"This potato is bad."

Mrs. Smith picked it up, smacked it, and put it back on his plate...

then said,

"If that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know."

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A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed.

He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit,

even though he knew he was not speeding.

Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot,

driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

He thought this was quite funny,

so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area

, but the traffic camera flashed yet again

.He tried a fourth time with the same result.

The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed

as he rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail

for driving without a seat belt

.Men! And they say blondes are dumb.


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Ghandi 2





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Embrace Life



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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

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