357

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Australia's got Talent

LOL

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A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart
A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart

are debating as to who is the greatest of the three.

The Cow: I give 50 liters of milk every day

and that’s why I am the greatest!

The Ant: I work day and night, summer and winter,

I can carry 52 times my own weight and that’s why I am the greatest!

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Why are you scrolling down?

It’s your turn to say something…

stloen from Skips house of Chaos

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World Cup Soccer

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GOLF

Four old gents were discussing the results of their golf games
.The first guy said,
"I had three riders today."
The second bent over guy said,
"I had the most riders ever. I had five."
The third old man said, "I did about the same.
I had seven riders, the sameas last time."
The last one said, "I beat my old record.
I had 12 riders today.
Aren't you fellers proud of me"?
After they went into the men's locker room,
a lady club member that had heard the old gents
talking about their game went to the pro and said,
"I have been playing golf here for a lot of years
and thought I knew all the terminology of the game,
but what in the world is a rider"?
The pro said,
"A rider is when you hit the ball far enough
to get in the golf cart and ride to it."

Mary hears the car drive up,

then a clatter as it hits the garbage cans.

Then she hears a car door slam,

some cussing; then the garage door opens and slams.
Suddenly more crashing and clattering and cussing,

then John comes into the house with his golf clubs, scowling and cussing.

"What's the matter, dear, you have as bad day on the golf course?"
"Yeah! Had a rotten day! And a rotten round of golf!

I only hit two balls solidly all day --

and I wouldn't have hit THEM

if I hadn't stepped on the rake in the garage!"

thanks to Toni for the jokes and Cartoons


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Seniors

Ideal Cell phone

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thanks Gordon H
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Horny old geezer

One night, a horny old geezer decides to get himself a hooker

. Since the man doesn't have much money,

he looks for the cheapest whore in the nearest Red Light District.

A short while later, he finds what he's looking for and spends $10 on her.

The next morning, the old geezer wakes up and discovers he has crabs

. So, he gets dressed and heads down to where he had been the night before.

He notices the same hooker on the street corner,

so he marches over to her and says

"Hey, lady, you gave me crabs!"

The hooker replies,

"Hey, old man, what did you expect for $10? Lobster?"


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Those Funny Animals

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Kids

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a cheeseburger.

When he takes a bite out of it,

he notices there's a small hair in the hamburger.

He begins yelling frantically at the waitress:

"Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger!

I demand to see what is going on!"
So, the waitress takes him back to the kitchen

and to his horror, he sees the cook take the meat patty

and flatten it under his armpit.
"That's disgusting!" the man says.
"You think that's disgusting?” the waitress replies:

“You should see him make doughnuts."

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For Claire and other fans of belly dancing


stolen from Miss Cellania


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Another form of dancing



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VEGANS

Blast from the Past



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Women and Men

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

But I will leave you with this

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Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.