376

****

A brunette, redhead and blonde were at a special magic Amusement Park

.One of the rides was a long slide at the end of which was a magic pool.

On the way down the slide,

all the rider had to do was shout out his or her favourite drink,

and hey-presto they would land in a pool full of this drink.

So off they went.
The brunette went first. On her way down she shouted out "Vodka"

at the top of her voice,

and sure enough she landed in a pool of the finest vodka.

After filling several bottles and glasses she went home,

happy but a little un-steady.
Next the redhead - who loved a 10 year old malt,

went flying down shouting "Whisky", and of course into a pool of whisky she fell.

She had to be dragged away practically unconscious.
Now it was the blonde’s turn.

She was very excited, and on her way down

she was enjoying the ride so much she shouted -

"Weeeeeee"......

************

I think this is a blonde driver!!

********

---

Go to school

A University of Alabama football player was visiting

a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays.

He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed.

He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line,

"Where does you go to school?"

The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl,

but did answer his question.

"Yale," she replied.

The UA student took a big, deep breath and shouted,

"WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"

*************

SOMETHING AUSSIE

Another one of those great Kiwi singers who invaded our shores
------------

--

Australian Speed Bump

don't worry mate its just a python

thanks Gordon H

******

Wonder if my mate Duke has one of these!!!!!



************

Those funny Animals

******************

An Irishman, living in Devon,

goes for a job on a construction site.

The foreman asks, "Can you brew tea?"

The Irishman says, "Yes."

"Good. Can you drive a fork lift?"

The Irishman looks at him and asks,

"An' just how big is the teapot?"

****************

the clour pink again

something for everybody

Wipeout

***

A Spaniard, Juan by name and not nature,

fell in love with Carmencita, a most possessive girl.

She had heard the gossip that his was a wandering eye

but it didn't surprise her,

because that trait was inherited from his primitive ancestors

when they swung continually from limb to limb.

She decided there was only one way she could be certain

her man would remain faithful until she could exchange the altar for the halter.

By accompanying him everywhere, every waking moment,

she became the village joke,

but her vigilance was rewarded when she was able finally

to wed her suitor without his ever once being unfaithful,

a state of grace hitherto unheard of in all of Spain.

Everywhere she went, eager, inquiring maidens

would ask her for the secret of her success

and her wise answer can be condensed to seven words:

"You always herd the Juan you love."

-- Himie Koshevoy


----

Two heavy drinkers were standing at the bar,

downing one beer after another.

When they had gotten a little, shall I say intoxicated,

or inebriated, one man said to the other,

"I bet you one hundred dollars you cannot swallow one hundred coins!"

The second man said, "Bartender! Another round for both of us.

And, I got 20 cents back, right? Well, give me the change all in pennies --

and another dollar's worth, besides!!"

After he finished drinking the brew, and drinking the pennies down,

he passed out on the floor

-- completely unconscious!

When the bartender called the ambulance,

a local newspaper reporter showed up at the hospital where he was taken.

"How is he doing?" the reporter asked.

The doctors, monitoring his situation, said

, "So far, no change."

-- Stan Kegel

******************

One of my old friends, Gladys, attended church services.
She not only attended regularly but she attended religiously.
One particular Sunday the sermon was based on the obscure verse four in Nahum.

The preacher had a bee in his bonnet about the Lord being the Avenger

and that man should not impose his own judgement

in matters of blasphemy and other sins.
The sermon seemed to go on forever,

and many in the congregation fell asleep.
After the service,

to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman

, in an attempt to revive him from his stupor,

extended her hand in greeting, and said,

“Hello, I’m Gladys Dunn.”
To which the gentleman replied,

“You’re not the only one!”

------------------

Blast from the Past

-------

embedding was not allowed for my favourite Jay Black hit

but click this link[below] to watch it

Jay Black recently celebrated his 72nd birthday


COME A LITTLE BIT CLOSER Jay Black & the Americans Jay Black and the Americans

*******************
for the wife

*************



My good friend Don H in Canada

sent me this because he's getting a bit cold

maybe this will make you feel better Don






-------------------------

---------------

This made me laugh out loud






---------------

PHILS PHILOSOPHY

but I leave you with this which is just adorable





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