441
----------------------
----
Sean Muldoon loved his dog, Willy,
and he walked the dog constantly through town.
When Muldoon and Willy would go on their walks,
they would stop to talk to just about everyone they met along the way
. Naturally, everyone in town eventually knew both Muldoon and Willy.
This went on for years.
One sad day Ol’ Sean Muldoon went on his usual walk,
but this time he walked all alone without Willy.
Patrick O’Halloran was the first to spy Ol’ Sean without his faithful companion.
“Where’s Willy?” Asked O’Halloran.
“‘Tis a sad day ‘tis, Patrick,” replied Muldoon.
“I had to put poor ol’ Willy down,
I did. I loved that dog dearly.”
“Oh no,” cried O’Halloran,
“Did he go rabid? Was he mad?”
“Well, he was none too pleased,” said Muldoon.
---------------------------
Those Funny Animals
-------
A Eagle Owl coming into land in slow motion
This film was shot at 1000 frames per second
----
thanks to Tim D and KittyL
-------------------------
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This is brilliant in its simplicity................
Let those men who want to marry men, marry men.
Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.
In three generations, there will be no Greens.
.. I just love it when a plan comes together so well.
thanks Gordon H
-----------------------------
Skate Board OUCH!!!!
----------------------
Flower Power
------------------------
Golf Meditations
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck.
Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
thanks Toni
--------
Fancy a game of Mini Golf
--
Wise words from a stockbroker....
I called my stockbroker and asked him what I should be buying.
He said, "If the current administration is in office much longer,
canned goods, water, and ammunition are your best bet."
thanks Kitty L
-----------
-----------------
Skate Board OUCH!!!!
-------
---
Teacher: if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven Sir
Teacher: No, listen carefully.
If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently.
If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2
, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven!!!
The now very angry Teacher:
Where in the Hell do you get seven from?!?!?
The now very frustrated Johnny:
Because I've already got a f***in' cat at home!!!
thanks Kitty L
-----
Before you read to the end, does anybody know what the main ingredient of WD-40 is?
Don't lie and don't cheat.
WD-40.
Who knew; I had a neighbor who bought a new pickup.
I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that someone
had spray painted red all around the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown reason).
I went over, woke him up, and told him the bad news.
He was very upset and was trying to figure out what to do....
probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open.
Another neighbor came out and told him to get his WD-40 and clean it off.
It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm his paint job that was on the truck.
I'm impressed!
WD-40 who knew?
'Water Displacement #40'.
The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent
and degreaser to protect missile parts.
WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company.
Its name comes from the project that was to find a 'water displacement' compound..
They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40.
The Convair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts.
Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you...
When you read the 'shower door' part, try it.
It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door.
If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass.
It's a miracle! Then try it on your stove top ...
Viola! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.
WD-40 uses:
1.. Protects silver from tarnishing.
2. Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3. Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4. Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making them slippery.
5. Keeps flies off cows . (I love this one!)
6. Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7 Removes lipstick stains.
8. Loosens stubborn zippers.
9. Untangles jewelry chains.
10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13. Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14. Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots .
15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.
18 It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor
! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring.
It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub
nearly as hard to get them off.
Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
19. Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!
20. Gives a children's playground gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
21. Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers...
22 Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open..
24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
25. Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans
28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling
29. Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31. Removes splattered grease on stove.
32. Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35. Removes all traces of duct tape.
36. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
37. Florida 's favorite use is: 'cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.'
38. The favorite use in the state of New York ,
WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
39. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures
and you will be catching the big one in no time.
Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose.
Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits
or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
40. Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
41. WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls..
Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
42. Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter
has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry,
saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash
. Presto! The lipstick is gone!
43. If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap,
it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.
P..S. The basic ingredient is
FISH OIL
thanks Jayne M
---
OH !! Them Russians
--------
Signs
Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.
POSTERS
thanks Ray S
--------
thanks Duke
----
More from the Gruen Transfer
Before you read to the end, does anybody know what the main ingredient of WD-40 is?
Don't lie and don't cheat.
WD-40.
Who knew; I had a neighbor who bought a new pickup.
I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that someone
had spray painted red all around the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown reason).
I went over, woke him up, and told him the bad news.
He was very upset and was trying to figure out what to do....
probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open.
Another neighbor came out and told him to get his WD-40 and clean it off.
It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm his paint job that was on the truck.
I'm impressed!
WD-40 who knew?
'Water Displacement #40'.
The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent
and degreaser to protect missile parts.
WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company.
Its name comes from the project that was to find a 'water displacement' compound..
They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40.
The Convair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts.
Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you...
When you read the 'shower door' part, try it.
It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door.
If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass.
It's a miracle! Then try it on your stove top ...
Viola! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.
WD-40 uses:
1.. Protects silver from tarnishing.
2. Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3. Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4. Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making them slippery.
5. Keeps flies off cows . (I love this one!)
6. Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7 Removes lipstick stains.
8. Loosens stubborn zippers.
9. Untangles jewelry chains.
10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13. Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14. Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots .
15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.
18 It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor
! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring.
It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub
nearly as hard to get them off.
Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
19. Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!
20. Gives a children's playground gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
21. Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers...
22 Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open..
24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
25. Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans
28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling
29. Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31. Removes splattered grease on stove.
32. Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35. Removes all traces of duct tape.
36. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
37. Florida 's favorite use is: 'cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.'
38. The favorite use in the state of New York ,
WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
39. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures
and you will be catching the big one in no time.
Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose.
Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits
or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
40. Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
41. WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls..
Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
42. Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter
has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry,
saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash
. Presto! The lipstick is gone!
43. If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap,
it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.
P..S. The basic ingredient is
FISH OIL
thanks Jayne M
---
OH !! Them Russians
--------
Signs
--------------------------------
--------------------
This Video is appearing everywhere
Thanks to all who sent it to me
Very funny
Watch the bloke on the right hand side
-----------
PHILS PHILOSOPHY
Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.
The Frantics-Her First Period - watch more funny videos
I stole a couple of these. That period video had me rolling in the aisles.
ReplyDeleteHave a terrific day Phil. :)