Phils Phun

521

Big Bang Flash Mob

Julia,.Kevin and Tony

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Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.
“So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.”
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.
“You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000.
And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.”
The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check.
He handed it to Leon … “Now then, I’m returning $5,000,
and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits.”

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Those Funny Animals

Cats Cats and more Cats

Crazy Cats Continued - The best bloopers are here

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At the Duplex

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Recently, I bought a cartridge for my printer. It came in a box mounted on a card and wrapped in plastic. When I took it apart, I found that the printer cartridge itself was actually quite small, but they made the packaging unnecessarily large to make it harder to steal and to make the customer feel better about the high price.

I pointed this out to my wife and mentioned how my weight gain over the years of our marriage should have the same effect: It made me seem more valuable and also made me harder for other women to steal.

She's still laughing

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Jack Lemmon

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Posters

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This weeks Music

Australia's very own

Tommy Emmanuel

Two fishermen went out to fish their favorite river on a lovely spring day.
After fishing for a few hours, neither was having much luck.

Suddenly, the largest fish either of them had ever seen
in the river jumped right in front of them.
They immediately started arguing about who
should get to cast in that area of the river.
Not coming to an agreement,
both of them cast at the same time.
Unsurprisingly, their lines got caught together.
This led to even more arguing until one fisherman punched the other.

Just then a game warden came by and broke up the fight.
Each fisherman immediately started blaming the other for the altercation.
Unmoved, the game warden said,
"Don't give me that. Everyone knows ...

...it takes two to tangle."

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Ten Bets you can't lose [part 2]

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Top Ten Myths

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'Dating pointers from a SCOTSMAN'

A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant.

"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "Incredible!"

Being a 'Kind Hearted Scotsman', he thought, "What the heck..., I'll treat her!"

So, they walked past it again...

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thanks David J

Still in Canada!!!

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident.
They were all brought to the same emergency room,
but all three of them died before they arrived.
Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American,
he stirred and opened his eyes.
Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened
. “Well,” said the American, “I remember the crash,
and then there was a beautiful light,
and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven.
St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die,
and said that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth.
So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50,
and the next thing I knew I was back here.”
“That’s amazing!” said the one of the doctors,
“But what happened to the other two?”
“Last I saw them,” replied the American,
“the Scot was haggling over the price
and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay.

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Mean while in Russia

Driving in Russia

and in Norway

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Good Parenting

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Candidate for this years Darwin Award

thanks Gordon H

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Its just a modern world we live in!!!1

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A woman was in town on a shopping trip.
She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop
and a beautiful dress on sale in the second.
In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent,
when her mobile phone rang.

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband
had just been in a terrible car accident
and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was
and that she'd be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques.
.. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.

She ended up shopping the rest of the morning,
finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice,
compliments of the last shop
. She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband.
Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital.

She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition.
The lady doctor glared at her and shouted,
"You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you!
I hope you're proud of yourself!
While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town,
your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit!
It's just as well you went ahead and finished,
because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take!
For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care.
And he will now be your career!"

The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.

The lady doctor then chuckled and said,
"I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. Show me what you bought."

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Seniors