537

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This video I have posted before but is well worth a re-run

The song is a version of our unofficial national anthem Waltzing Matilda,

 the lyrics for which were penned by Banjo Paterson

 on a track east of Winton, in Outback Queensland.

It is sung in the Top End's Kriol,

 a combination of languages said to have grown organically

 from the meeting of Aboriginal, European

 and Chinese people around Darwin.

thanks Shane J

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the world famous "Chooky Dancers"

the video that started it all

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St Patrick's Day 2013

The reason the Irish celebrate St. Patrick's Day 

is because this is when St.Patrick

 drove the Norwegians out of Ireland. 

It seems that some centuries ago,

 many Norwegians came to Ireland to escape the bitterness

 of the Norwegian winter.

 Ireland was having a famine at the time,

 and food was scarce. 

The Norwegians were eating almost all the fish caught in the area,

 leaving the Irish with nothing to eat but potatoes.

 St. Patrick, taking matters into his own hands,

 as most Irishmen do,

 decided the Norwegians had to go. 

  Secretly, he organized the Irish IRATRION 

(Irish Republican Army to Rid Ireland of Norwegians)

. Irish members of IRATRION passed a law in Ireland 

that prohibited merchants from selling ice boxes

 or ice to the Norwegians, in hopes that their fish would spoil. 

This would force the Norwegians to flee to a colder climate 

where their fish would keep.

Well, the fish spoiled, all right,

 but the Norwegians, as every one knows today,

 thrive on spoiled fish

. So, faced with failure, 

the desperate Irishmen sneaked into the Norwegian fish storage caves

 in the dead of night and sprinkled the rotten fish with lye, 

hoping to poison the Norwegian invaders.

But, as everyone knows, 

the Norwegians thought this only added to the flavor of the fish, 

and they liked it so much they decided to call it "lutefisk",

 which is Norwegian for "luscious fish".

   Matters became even worse for the Irishmen

 when the Norwegians started taking over the Irish potato crop

 and making something called "lefse".

Poor St. Patrick was at his wit's end, 

and finally on March 17th,

 he blew his top and told all the Norwegians to

 "GO TO HELL".

 So they all got in their boats and emigrated to Minnesota or the Dakotas

---- the only other paradise on earth where smelly fish,

 old potatoes and plenty of cold weather can be found in abundance.

           The End. 

And now you know the true story.

Paddy was in New York .

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop 

on a busy street crossing. 

The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 

'Okay, pedestrians.' 

Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times,

 and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!'

 for the tenth time, 

Paddy went over to him and said,

 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas .

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning.

 It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. 

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath

 of the beautiful day outside.

 He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. 

He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day to yerself. 

This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church.

 There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn 

and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads

 to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit 

and recognizing the foreign accent,

 thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied

, "Well now Father,

 it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......

Father O'Malley then replied:

 "Aye,'tis certainly true;

 but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, 

which is the reason for me call."

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, 

and asks the first man he meets,

 'Do you want to go to heaven?' 

The man said, 'I do, Father...'

The priest said, 

'Then stand over there against the wall.'

Then the priest asked the second man, 

'Do you want to go to heaven?'

'Certainly, Father,' the man replied. 

'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked,

 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.' 

The priest said, 'I don't believe this.

 You mean to tell me that when you die 

you don't want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes.

 I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'

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Those Funny Animals

Home Security

thanks Kitty L

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Cute Animal Pictures

thanks Joanne W

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Sleepy Man Banjo Boys

if you haven't heard of these talented musicians before

then you have now

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Useless..but Funny Facts!!!

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Stompin Tom Connors has passed away at age 76. 

 Tom wrote Canada's unofficial national anthem.

thanks David T

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 thanks David T

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Canadian Inventions

I think Don H sent me the above picture...

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young boy delights the audience at a concert

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Fishing ..OOPS!!!

thanks Liz Z

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What would you do??

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A woman had a magic well.

 She would put her pail on the edge of the well and clap her hands

 and the well would dispense a measured amount of water into the pail.

 The only problem was that the well would never give out the same amount of water. 

This distressed the woman and she decided

 that she would consult the neighborhood priest.

She told the priest of the problem and he decided the well was infected

 with some sort of malicious spirit.

 The priest then proceeded to pray and bless the well with holy water.

 He then instructed the woman to place the pail on the edge of the well and to clap her hands.

 This time the well filled the pail 1/4 full.

The priest then instructed the woman to place the pail 

a little to the left of the previous spot

 and to clap her hands.

 This time the pail was filled 1/2 full.

The priest then told the woman to move the pail 

just a bit further to the left and to clap her hands. 

This time the pail was filled to the brim and made the woman very happy.

Each day the woman enjoyed the pleasure of getting a full pail of wa-ter, 

as long as she placed the pail in the same exact spot. 

She thanked the priest every time she saw him.

One day the priest decided to take the bishop to the woman’s home

 to demonstrate the procedure.

After seeing the woman go through the steps

 and the subsequent filling of the pail, the bishop remarked,

 “I see you have trained her well.”

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The Duplex

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Electric Fence

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 thanks David J

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thanks Kitty L

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This video is about an island in the ocean at 2000 km from any other coast line.

Nobody lives there, only birds... and yet ...............

This film should be seen by the entire world, please don't throw

anything into the sea. Unbelievable, just look at the

consequences!!!!!

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Misc Stuff

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--

Skate board Fails...ouch!!!

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Signs

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.