541

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100 Metre Dash

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Some Fun Facts

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Who said New Zealand had no talent!!

Watch these two videos

Knock your socks of

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North Korea

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\As we all know,

 April 1st is that day we traditionally 

play practical jokes on each other.

In this particular town it is the custom for such jokes to end at Noon.

Last April 1st, John and Big Hoss (two rookie policemen) 

were patrolling the downtown business area. 

They decided to stop into the local coffee shop 

for a coffee and a donut. 

The time was 11:55 AM.

Three minutes later, 

they got a call on their police radio,

 "33 in process, man in bank dressed as a banana."

Well there was only 1 bank in town;

 in fact, it was just across from the coffee shop.

 And a 33 was an "armed robbery",

 but it was also just 11:58 AM. 

John and Big Hoss decided 

it was the dispatcher playing a joke on them.

They continued enjoying their coffee break.

At 12:01 PM, they got a second call on their radio,

 "Repeat, Urgent, 33 in process,

 man in bank dressed as a banana."

Realizing it was past noon, 

they rushed across the street,

 but arrived 30 seconds after the banana split.

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Those Funny Animals

     A pest extermination company was giving free termite inspections, 

and my Dad called for an appointment.  

After the inspector checked over our house thoroughly,

 he handed  "Dad," the estimate and said, 

"You don't have any termites right now, 

but there's a bunch of 'em in that firewood you've got stacked out back. 

 When they've eaten their way through that, 

 I guarantee they'll head for your house." 

 Dad thanked the man for his time,

 and his estimate, then led him out of the house.  

     A week later, 

the company called back, wondering if we were interested 

in using their termite extermination services.  

In his slow drawl, I heard my father reply,

 "Well, from the prices you quoted, 

I'm thinking it'll be cheaper to just buy the termites

 another cord of wood every now and again."

There are 6 owls in this picture

 thanks Toni S

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Can you identify any of these??

James Dean

Albert Einstein

Marilyn Monroe

John Lennon

John Wayne

Charlie Chaplin

Nelson Mandella

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A few years ago the nuclear aircraft carrier Enterprise 

was returning to its base at the Oakland-Alameda Naval Base

 when the ship's captain, misreading the tides,

 managed to run the carrier aground on the mud flats of San Francisco bay. 

This event went down in history as being one of the finest examples 

of grounding the warship you walk on.

    Every Easter our church stages an elaborate pageant. 

Last year the man who played Pontius Pilate 

had to work on the night of the dress rehearsal,

 and a chorus member substituted for him.

 As we began rehearsing Pilate's solo, 

the conductor stopped the orchestra. 

"Pilate, I don't hear you," he called out. 

    "You're not loud enough." 

    "Pilate is at work," a voice on the stage shouted back. 

 "We've got our co-Pilate tonight." 

-- Bill Dyson

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CANADA

Edmonton Alberta

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Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel;

 the only way to move things was by carrying or dragging. 

One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives 

drag a dead mastodon and other food to the food preparation area.

 It was exhausting work and the guys were getting tired just watching.

 Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders,

 and they had an idea:

 They could sit on the boulders and watch! 

This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television.

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POSTERS

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One day, a teacher asked if anyone could tell the class a story with a moral. 

Little Johnny volunteered the following: 

“Out West, in the town of Diablo

, there was a guy named Stanley, 

who was president of the Creative Credit Loan Company. 

He was proud of being able to arrange loans for almost anyone. 

One day as he was locking up to go home, 

some tough guys accosted him and started to push him around 

because he was small in stature and mild mannered.

 Stanley held a Third Degree Black Belt in Karate.

 He counterattacked and gave the tough guys

 a thrashing they wouldn't forget.” 

Said the teacher,

 “Good, Johnny, now tell us what is the moral of your story.” 

Johnny replied, 

“Well, the moral is, if you're ever out in Diablo, 

don't mess around with the loan arranger.”

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Police Fails

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Two Wheel Bike Fails

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Fantastic Pictures

Sunset on Easter Island

Down the Spiral 

the coolest Duck 

The coolest Subway entrance 

Horizon rainbow in Paris 

Tsunami Clouds 

Brussels Floral Carpet

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Winter Fails and Wins

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"Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?"

 the woman asked her husband. 

"No,"said her husband. 

She gave him a sexy little smile,

 unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse,

 and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft,

 silky push-up bra, 

and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill. 

He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her

 and smiled approvingly. 

"Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"

 she then asked her husband? 

"Uh,no, I haven't," he said

 (with an anxious tone in his voice). 

She gave him another sexy little smile,

 pulled up her skirt,

 and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties,

 and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill. 

He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill, and started 

  breathing a little quicker with  anticipation. 

"Now," she said.

 "Have you ever seen $50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?" 

"No way!" he said

 (while  obviously becoming even more aroused and excited). 

"Well go look  in the garage!" she said.

thanks Kitty L

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This weeks Hit

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this weeks signs

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.