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Fun with Trombones

"German Brass" is a brass ensemble founded in 1974.

The group is well known as the top brass ensemble in Germany

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Phun Phacts

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A lawyer phoned the governor's mansion shortly after midnight. 

"I need to talk to the governor. 

It's an emergency!" exclaimed the lawyer.

    After some cajoling, 

the governor's assistant agreed to wake him up. 

"So, what is it that's so important that it can't wait until morning?"

 grumbled the governor.

    "Judge Jones just died, and I want to take his place," 

begged the attorney.

    "Well, it's okay with me if it's okay with the funeral home," 

replied the governor.  -

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Human Planet

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Topical

HUNDREDS of jubilant gay-rights advocates celebrated

 at New Zealand's Parliament as the country become 

the 13th in the world and the first in the Asia-Pacific region

 to legalise same-sex marriage

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North Korean Carrier group departs harbor to attack California & Hawaii

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The Duckman

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Those Funny Animals

The Lonely DoDo

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Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.

Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," said Dolly.

"It's true, no bull!" replied Daisy.

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New York 1905/1906

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More than just a picture!!

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Stay young with Evian

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Cave persons!!!

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Only for HOT People !!!

If you are HOT , and you know it . .. Scroll down...    if you are not, close and delete

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Bring me Sunshine

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POSTERS

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Foot tee

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Tonight, as I was coming home,

 I came to a four way stop.

 I was about to proceed across the intersection when I heard a siren. 

I waited for an ambulance to pass by in front of me on the cross street.

 Just about the time he entered the intersection the car 

on the opposite side of the intersection from me

 became impatient and started out into the intersection right in front of the ambulance.

 Well the ambulance swerved violently just missing the impatient idiot

 who pulled out in front of him. 

But when the ambulance swerved their back door flew open 

and a box dropped out on the street.

 Well I was the only one left in the intersection. 

Thinking the box might have been important 

I put my car in Park and walked out into the intersection to retrieve the box.

 I thought I might be able to get it to the ambulance somehow.

 It was kind of heavy.

 I had no idea what was inside

. On the way back to my car I opened the box

. My mouth must of dropped open in amazement.

 Inside the box was somebody’s big toe packed in ice. 

Oh my goodness! I thought!!! 

The guy who this belongs to must be in that ambulance that just went buy

. Quick as a flash I formulated an action plan. 

What did I do then you might ask? 

Well I did what any responsible adult would do. 

I called a toe truck!

Two robins were sitting in a tree.

 "I'm famished," said the first one. 

"Me, too," said the second.

 "Let's fly down and find some lunch."

 They flew down to the ground and found

 a nice piece of plowed land with lots of fresh worms.

 They ate, and ate, and ate 'till they could eat no more.

 "I'm so full, I don't think I can fly up to the tree," said the first.

 "Me, either. Let's just lie here in the warm sun," said the first one.

 No sooner had they had fallen asleep

 when a big fat tomcat snuck up and gobbled them up.

 As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought,

 "I love Baskin' Robins."

A tailor had been working in the neighborhood for years.

 He had always been known for his quality workmanship

 and had many repeat customers.

 But as he grew older,

 he began to make mistakes and his customers began 

to go elsewhere for their clothing.

 Rather than try to correct his problem,

 he became angry about his plight and told everyone 

who came in his shop about it.

 His wife warned him that he would lose all his customers

 if he didn't begin treating people right

 and again provide them good quality.

 When he had but two customers left, the wisdom of his wife's words 

finally gained meaning for him. 

He started working harder at perfection,

 but every time he sewed something, 

he had to tear out the seams for one reason or another.

 No matter how hard he tried he couldn't quite get it right any more

. Finally, his wife shouted to him:

 "I told you to change your ways but you wouldn't listen to me. 

Everyone has finally gone.

 And now all you can do is rip what you sew."

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May the force be with you

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Seniors

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The Wife

A recent article in the Eganville Leader 

reported that a woman from Barrys Bay

sued the Pembroke hospital, 

saying that after her husband had surgery there,

he lost all interest in sex.

  A hospital spokesman replied, 

“The gentleman was actually admitted in Ophthalmology -

all we did was correct his eyesight...” 

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This Weeks Signs

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This weeks trip down Memory Lane

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.