567

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Wife Kidnapped

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Cool World Pictures

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Ten Things your dog will tell you

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  Those Funny Animals

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A new Table Tennis Star is here

The Owl and the Pussy cat

thanks Liz Z

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A farmer stood leaning on a fence at the edge of his property

 He watched as a red sports car came over the top of a hill

and followed the road up to the spot where he stood. 

The driver pulled over to the side of the road 

and called out to the farmer. 

“Do you know how I can get to Route 91?” 

the driver asked. 

The farmer thought for a few seconds. 

Then he said, “Nope.”

 “Do you know where the nearest turnpike entrance is?” 

the driver asked.

 “Nope.” 

“How about the town of Hadley. 

Do you know which direction it is from here?” 

“Nope.” 

Exasperated, the driver raced his engine. 

“You don’t know very much, do you?” he said.

 “Nope,” 

the farmer replied.

 “But I’m not lost.”

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Topical

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Tom Hanks.........    the Movie

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Useless Information

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted 

in the middle of a busy intersection.

Traffic quickly piled up in all directions,

 and a woman rushed to help him. 

As she knelt down to loosen his collar,

a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said,

 “It’s all right honey, I’ve had a course in first aid.”

 The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man’s pulse

 and prepared to administer artificial respiration.

 At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said,

 “When you get to the part about calling a doctor,

 I’m already here.”

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It was a beautiful summer in Sweden,

 and all the Swedish cows were enjoying excellent grass crops.

 There was more than enough grass to go around, 

and all through the fjords and dells 

you could hear the cows moo-ing with happiness.

But some time in late July,

 there arrived a band of roughhousing moose who muscled the cows

 out of the way and began eating more grass than was seemingly possible.

Then, just when it looked like things couldn't get worse,

 the moose started to throw up all over the place, 

nauseated from their grassy feasting.

For the rest of the summer, the farmers could be heard complaining and singing,

 The Hills Are Alive With the Sounds of Moose Sick.

A certain artificial sweetener company

 wanted to spruce up its image with a big new ad campaign. 

The marketing department quickly divided

 into two squabbling factions. 

One group wanted to do a "Big Band Nostalgia" theme, 

sponsoring some jazzy, happenin' musical events,

 while the other group was dead set on a tribute 

to the classic movie Ben-Hur, 

complete with a real live reenactment of the iconic chariot race. 

As the deadline approached, no one would budge, 

so finally the two sides were forced to compromise.

 When the big boss came to see the finished product, 

he was presented with a snappy jazzy orchestra 

seated in a giant Roman vehicle. 

"What is that?" he cried. 

"Well sir," replied his V.P. of marketing, 

"That is the Sweet Low swing chariot!" 

Robin Hood and his merry men were in Sherwood Forest

 one night celebrating, and imbibing. 

They all became inebriated, and then Friar Tuck began to sing.

 He became louder with each drink.

 Robin Hood, fearing that the Sheriff of Nottingham might hear the band, 

dragged the Friar deep into the woods.

 He then tucked him into the river, but the song lingered on.

 The moral of the story: 

You can lead a drunk to water but you can't make him hoarse

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POSTERS

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After a young couple brought their new baby home, 

the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.

 “I’m busy,” he said, “I’ll do the next one.” 

The next time came around and she asked again

 The husband looked puzzled, 

“Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper.

 I meant the next baby!

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Animals Saving the Planet

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Rare Photo's

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Telekinetic girl in coffee shop prank

 In a promotion stunt for the upcoming remake 

of Stephen King's Carrie,

a young woman discovers her telekinetic abilities

after a random stranger accidentally

 spills coffee on her table at a coffee shop

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Meanwhile in Scotland

thanks Gordon H




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Denmark Bus Ad

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Water Trick

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More Cool Pictures

Sunrise on Easter Island

Nature overtake on the Great Wall

Coolest Duck ever

Glacial Waterfall

First Flight

Multi Colored Iceberg

Fly by Eclipse

Tsunami Cloud

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As promised
Two more Instrumental Hits

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This Weeks Funny Signs

An attractive young lady with raven-black hair 

and wide eyes approached the gates of Heaven. 

Looking her over, St. Peter said,

 “And may I ask, young lady, if you are a virgin?”

 “I am,” was her demure reply.

 Not wanting to appear distrustful but having to be cautious,

 St. Peter called over an angel to examine her.

 Several minutes later the angel returned.

 “She’s a virgin,” the angel stated,

 “though I’m obliged to inform you that she *does*

 have seven small dents in her maidenhead.” 

Thanking him, St. Peter took his place behind the ledger 

and faced the girl.

 “Well, miss, we’re going to admit you

. What is your name?”

 She replied sweetly,

 “Snow White.”

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WESTERN AUSTRALIA
Lucky Bay....   near Esperance on the South Coast

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Heaven
Make sure you get the important message at the end of this video

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PHILS  PHILOSOPHY

Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.