575

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RIP Nelson Mandela

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Giggles with Goats

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This years marks the 25th anniversary of the passing of Roy Orbison

December 6th 1988 aged 52

Today's blog will include several Roy Orbison Hits

Hope you enjoy them

Running Scared

Leah

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Inspiring pictures

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One day, at the gas station...

A man runs into a gas station,

 obviously very flustered.

The attendant asks,

 "You look like you've seen a ghost.

 What happened?"

The man looks at the attendant and says,

 in a very shaky voice,

 "It's horrible. 

Someone just broke into my car when I came 

in to pay for my gas a minute ago."

The attendant says, "Oh my."

The man continues, losing more coherence as he speaks,

 "I had a ticket to the Justin Bieber concert 

on Sunday sitting on the dashboard..."

The attendant asks,

 "Did they take your ticket?"

The man says, barely able to speak at this point,

 "No, worse.

 They left another one there."

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Those Funny Animals

Emu and the Weasel Ball

About the Emu...

The emu is the second largest bird on the planet,

 standing nearly 6 tall, and weighing up to 120 pounds.

 Emus cannot fly but they are fast runners - up to 30 mph. 

Surprisingly, they are also strong swimmers.

 Some scientists consider emus to be living dinosaurs

 because their bones and joints are similar.

 Their ability to store fat allows them to go without food for long periods of time.

 Emus can defend themselves with tremendously powerful forward kicks.

 They eat great quantities of caterpillars, grasshoppers,

 and masses of the burrs that tangle sheep wool, 

which makes them helpful to farmers. 

They also hate weasel balls.

Elephant plays the piano

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Grammar Fails

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This weeks Xmas Song

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Xmas Toons

Stagecoach and the Snowmen

Santa Fails

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Black and White pictures from days gone by

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Pretty Paper

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As Franz Kafka awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, 

he found himself transformed into a raging bull elephant. 

He charged around his room with his trunk sticking straight up 

making loud trumpeting noises.

 The picture of the lady in furs came crashing down,

 the vase of anemones tipped over.

Suddenly afraid that his family might discover him, 

Franz stuck his enormous head out of the window

 overlooking the courtyard.

But it was too late. 

His parents and sisters had already been awakened by the racket, 

and rushed into his room.

 All of them gasped simultaneously as they stared at the great bulk of Franz’s rump.

 Then Franz pulled his head and turned toward them, looking sheepish.

Finally, after an awkward couple of minutes, 

in which no one spoke, 

Franz’s mother went over and rested her cheek against his trunk

 and said, “Are you ill, dear?”

Franz let loose a bloodcurdling blast,

 and his mother slipped to the floor.

Franz’s father was about to help her but noticed the anemones 

tipped over on the table. 

He picked them up and threw them out the window, saying, 

“With Franz like this, who needs anemones?”

 I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now. 

I tried to catch some fog. I mist. 

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. 

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray 

is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.

 He says he can stop any time. 

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. 

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. 

Then it dawned on me

. 

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,

 but I'd never met herbivore. 

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

 I can't put it down. 

I did a theatrical performance about puns. 

It was a play on words . 

They told me I had type A blood, 

but it was a type-O.  

Why were the Indians here first? 

They had reservations. 

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory--

 I hope there's no pop quiz.

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POSTERS

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Beautiful Dreamer

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  EARTH FACTS

the hottest temperature ever recorded on Earth's surface

 was 136 degrees F or 57.8 degrees C

 in El Azizia, Libya recorded in 1922

The coldest spot was Antarctica's vostok station

 that recorded a bone chilling minus 128.6 degrees farenheit 

(minus 89.2 degrees C)

On that note, Antarctica contains about 70 percent of Earth's fresh water 

and 90 percent of its ice

Gravity is not distributed equally.

 Yes, you read that right. 

Places like Hudson Bay in Canada actually have less gravity

 than other regions of the globe.

 This is due to the fact that there is less land mass

 in that part of the planet thanks both to retreating glaciers

 on the surface and swirling magma deep in the core.

Earth's magnetic north pole is moving northward at a rate of 10 miles per year

As cool as moon rocks are, on Earth rocks can walk. 

Or at least slide. In Death Valley rocks weighing hundreds of pounds

 slide across the desert floor leaving trails in their wake.

 Scientists believe wind and ice are the culprits.

The longest mountain range on Earth is actually underwater.

 It is called the mid ocean ridge system. 

It stretches for 80,000 km all around the world

 and is nearly 20 times longer than the longest range on the surface, 

the Andes Mountains.

 Not only that, the whole thing is completely volcanic

70 percent of the planet is covered in ocean but humans have only explored 5 percent of it.

The deepest spot on Earth is the Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench.

 It is nearly 11 km below the surface of the ocean (~7 miles)

 and only 3 people have ever ventured there

the pacific basin contains half of the free water on Earth

 and could hold all of the world's continents.

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Tom Hanks steals an Ipad

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Topical

Two archeologists, exploring a remote mountain in Tibet,

 came across a huge granite statue which resembled a sitting man. 

It stood almost 400 foot tall, 

and its bodily details were accurate down 

to the fingernails and teeth.

“It looks real enough to talk,” says one.

“Lets try,” says the other.

Turning to the statue, he asks it its name.

No answer.

"How old are you?"

No answer.

Finally, one shouts out, 

“What is the square root of 64?”

Suddenly, the mountain shakes as the giant statue 

rises onto its feet and puts it's hand on its chin.

Then after about ten seconds,

 the statue answers in a roaring voice, 

“EIGHT!”

Of course," says the first scientist,

 "It only stands to reason."

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Californa Blue

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Random  awesome pictures of beauty

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Budweisers Clysedale Horse Adverts

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oops!!!

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Toyota Advert

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My oldest sister had made a salad for dinner

 and served it on everyone's plate before we sat down. 

Coming to the table,

 Dad caught my four-year-old sister, Amy,

 poking his salad and told her to stop.

Amy was very quiet all through dinner.

 Finally, when the meal was over,

 Dad asked her,

 "Amy, why were you playing with my food?"

"I was trying to get the fly out,"

 she replied.

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Miscellanous

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Human Love

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The Only One

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This weeks signs

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.