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SENIORS CAR WINDOW STICKERS

thanks Don H

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Odds and Ends

THE MONTANA COWBOY

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd 

in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana

 when suddenly a brand-new 2015 BMW

 advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

 The driver, a young man named Cliff 

in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses 

and YSL® tie,

 leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,

 "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves

 you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie,

 then looks at his peacefully grazing herd 

and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" 

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, 

connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page

 on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite

 to get an exact fix on  his location

 which he then feeds to another NASA satellite

 that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. 

The young man then opens the digital photo

 in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an

 image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.  
 
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad®

 that the image has been processed and the data stored.

 He then accesses an MS-SQL® database 

through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet

 with email on his Galaxy S5®

 and, after a few minutes, receives a response. 

   
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report

 on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer,

 turns to the  cowboy and says, 

"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."  
 
"That's right.

 Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.  
 
He watches the young man select one of the animals

 and looks on with amusement as the young man

 stuffs it into the trunk of his car.  
 
Then Bud says to the young man, 

"Hey, if I  can tell you exactly what your business is,

 will you give me back my calf?"  
  
The young man thinks about it for a second 

and then says, "Okay, why not?"  

"You're a United States Congressman", says Bud.  
 
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie,

 "but how did you guess that?"  
 
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.

 "You showed up here even though nobody called you;

 you want to get paid for an answer 

I already knew, to a  question I never asked

. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment

 trying to show me how much smarter than me you are;

 and you don't know xxxx about how 

working people make a living - or about cows, 

for that matter. 

This is a  herd of sheep."  
 
"Now give me back my dog."  
 
AND THAT FOLKS, IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. 

thanks Kitty L 

Rodney's in love

Funny Signs

Heavy Rain From Ex Cyclone Gita

 Turns Rakaia River

 into a River of Rock

This is one river that you definitely don’t want to fall into,

 as you probably would be grinded like if you were on a blender

On New Zealand's South Island

Creepy Facts

"Word of the Week"

Phil's Philosophy

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