26

I got my name in lights with notcelebrity.co.uk

G'day All

Well , the weekend is over and back to work

The West Coast Eagles lost their first game of the season

yesterday and top spot on the League Ladder

Beaten by Geelong in Melbourne by 6 goals

Beer Commercial Banned in the USA

A Mormon was seated next to an Australian

on a flight from London, England,

to Melbourne, Australia.
After the plane was airborne,

drink orders were taken.
The Aussie asked for a rum and Coke,

which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the

Mormon if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust,

"I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores

than let liquor touch my lips."
The Aussie then handed his drink back

to the attendant and said,

"Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."

A man was chosen for jury duty who very

much wanted to be dismissed from serving.

He tried every excuse he could think of

but none of them worked.

On the day of the trial he decided

to give it one more shot.

As the trial was about to begin he asked

if he could approach the bench.

"Your Honor," he said,

" I must be excused from this trial because

I am prejudiced against the defendant.

I took one look at the man in the blue suit

with those beady eyes and that

dishonest face and I said

'He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty'

So your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!"

With a tired annoyance the judge replied,

"Get back in the jury box.

That man is his lawyer."

Another Paris Hilton Cartoon


Say no more

A young man walks through New York Chinatown

and notices a shop with the name Hans Olaffsen's Laundry.

He thought it seemed out of place but curiosity

got the best of him and he walked into the shop.

He sees an old Chinese man sitting in the corner.
He asked the old man,

How in the world did this place

get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?
Old Man - That's the name of the owner.
Young Man - Who's the owner?
Old Man - I am.
Young Man - How did you get a name like Hans Olaffsen?
Old Man - Many years ago when I came

to this country from Hong Kong,

I was standing in line at Immigration.

A man in front of me was a big blond Norwegian.

The lady from Immigration asked him,

What is your name? He say "Hans Olaffsen".
Lady ask me, What is your name?

I say Sam Ting.

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, “Me feet are freez’n mate,

could ya nip upstairs and get me slippers?”
“No bother,” he says, and he runs upstairs

and there are Paddy’s two stunning

19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.
“Hello dere girls, your Da’ sent me up here to shag ya both.”
“Fook off you liar!” they both chime.
“I’ll prove it,” Murphy says.

So he shouts down the stairs,

“Both of them, Paddy?”
“Of course, what’s the use of fookin’ one?”

More scenery shots of Western Australia

The great Guitar player Chet Atkins "Snowbird"