A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink.
Walking up behind her he says,
"Hi there, good lookin'. How's it going?" Having already downed a few power drinks,
she turns around, faces him,
looks him straight in the eye and says,
"Listen up, buddy. I screw anybody, any time,
anywhere, your place, my place, in the car,
front door, back door, on the ground,
standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean ...
It just doesn't matter to me.
I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just flat-ass love it." Eyes now wide with interest, he responds,
"No kidding. I'm a lawyer too. What firm are you with?"
Short and funny Words of Wisdom At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us,
"Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make."
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. "They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. "When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. "White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
Pictures courtesy G'dayWA.com
North Pool at Wiluna after some rain
Wiluna is at the beginning of the Canning Stock route
in the Little Sandy desert which expands into
the Great Sandy Desert the further north you travel
at the base of a giant Red Tingle tree in the South West forest
Here's Jimmy Buffet performing live at an open air concert
If this doesn't put you in good mood Nothing will
The song is "Margaritaville"
Thursday, May 24, 2007
30
G'day All
As we head into another weekend
Something to get you hoppin and boppin for the weekend
Judson Laipply Evolution of Dance
The Louisiana State Police received reports of illegal
cock fights being held in the area around Layfette,
and duly despatched the infamous
Dectectice Desormeaux to investigate
He reported to his sergeant the next morning
'Dey is tree main groups in dis cock fighting" he began
"Good work, who are they?" the sergeant asked
Desormeaux replied confidently,
"De Aggies, de Cajuns, and de Mafia"
Puzzled, the sergeant asked,
"How did you find that out in one night?"
'Well, was the reply "I went down and done seed dat cock fight
I knew the Aggies was involved when a duck
was entered in de fight".
The sergeant nodded, "I'll buy that.
But what about the others"
Desormreaux intoned knowingly, 'Well, I knowed the
Cajuns was involved when somebody bet on the duck"
'Ah," said the sergeant, "and how do you deduce the Mafia was involved?"
"De duck won"
Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.
One of them looks at the other one's penis
and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on it. .....
He looks at the other priest and says
"I believe you're supposed to put that patch
on your arm or shoulder, not down there!" .....
The other priest replies,
"Its working just fine,
I'm down to two butts a day!!" .....
IF YOU LAUGH.........YOU'LL GO TO HELL!!!
Identity Crisis
You gotta love Maxine
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name. Stanley," responds the little boy. And what is your question, Stanley?"
"I have 4 questions: First, why did the US invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when half of all Americans don't have health insurance? "
Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name. "Little Johnnie" he responds. And what is your question, Little Johnnie?"
"Actually Sir, I have 6 questions: First, why did the US invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when half of all Americans don't have health insurance? Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And sixth, what the hell happened to Stanley?"
Sounds like where I'm working at present
Western Australia Trees in semi arid desert near Kalgoorlie Overlooking Kunanurra in the extreme North West
Mr Zimmerman is 66 today Happy Birthday Bob Dylan Here is a very young Bob Dylan singing 'Blowing in the wind"
Its Tuesday and we are into another week of work, work, work
Fuel prices here in the West,
like most other places have gone thru the roof
and the oil companies are again making zillions,
with every little panic situation in the world
they push up the price
I think this says it all
Enough of that doom and gloom we are here to smile
Granny is bashing a car
Some advice to put you in a good mood
Oldie but Goldie The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed,middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans areso rude. My little Fifi is using that seat." The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired." She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!" This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down. The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!" An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wronghand. You drive your autos on the wrong side ofthe road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up." The daughter did - and her hands warmed up. The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My hands are freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up" He did and warmed his hands. The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold." The girl replied"Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up." He did and warmed his nose. The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid." The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?" Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?" The daughter replies, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they?" -----------------------------------------------
Western Australia Oneof the numerous beaches along the coast and belowFlying along the clifftops of the Great Australain Bight where the Nullabor plain meets the Southern Ocean
John Fogerty Rockin all over the World
Status Quo have a great version of this also , but Ilike this one better
Watch out for more John Fogerty [CCR to come]
You don't have to be mad to be a Bloggger,, but it helps
Sunday, May 20, 2007
28
G'day All
Well, its sunday evening here in the west
Footy is over for another weekend,
with the West Coast Eagles winning today
and reclaiming top spot on the League Ladder
from the Port Adelaide [Port Power]mob
So wekends over and its into another week
Rodney Carrington Today's the Day my Wife met my Girlfriend
Like this In my case its a Big one being a pain in the rectum
Its just as well my wife doesn't read this Blog otherwise I'd be spending a few days in the doghouse
Someone THE ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone,
Set her free...If she comes back,
she's yours,If she doesn't, she never was....
THE NEW VERSIONS
Pessimist:
If you love someone,Set her free
...If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
If you love someone,Set her free
...Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
If you love someone,Set her free ...I
f she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
If you love someone,Set her free
...If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.
Patient:
If you love someone, Set her free
..If she doesn't come back,continue to wait until she comes back
Playful
If you love someone,Set her free
...If she comes back, and if you love her still,set her free again, repeat
...Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love someone,Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
If you love someone,Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1
in the SecondAmendment of the Matrimonial Freedom
Biologist :
If you love someone,
Set her free,She'll evolve.
Statisticians :
If you love someone,Set her free,I
f she loves you, the probability of her comingback is high
If she doesn't, your relation was improbableanyway.
Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,SHE'LL BE BACK!
Over possessive person :
If you love someone
don't set her free.
Psychologist :
If you love someoneset her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn't come back her id is supreme
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
Somnabulist :If you love someoneset her free
If she comes back it's a nightmare
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
Finance expert :
If you love someoneset her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
American President:If you love someoneSet her free
If she comes back she must be carrying weapons of mass destruction,
so attack Iraq
If she doesn't, it’s the work of Osama
so attack Afghanistan
------------------------------------ It's deer, dear A man kills a deer and takes it home, where his wife cooks it for dinner. When their little daughter sees the unfamiliar meat, she asks her father what it is. "Well", says dad, "It's what mummy calls me sometimes." "Don't eat it!" the little girl screams, "It's an asshole!” ------------------------------------------
The homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes on Saturday morning and set about all the chores he'd been putting off for weeks. He'd cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and yelled out her window, "Say, what do you get for yard work?" The fellow thought for a minute, then answered, "The lady who lives here, lets me sleep with her." --------------------------------------------------------
Three aspiring psychiatrists, from three universities, were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters." said the professor to the student from University of Tennessee, "What is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness'" said the student." And the opposite of depression?" he asked the young lady from University of Memphis. "Elation," she said. "And you, sir," he said to the student from University of Arkansas, "How about the opposite of woe?" The student replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy up." --------------------------------------------
A couple of more pictures from the remote Kimberleys of Western Australia First, is Falls on the Prince Regent River And the below picture is of the Cascade Falls
Classic
Ray Charles and Willie Nelson
"Seven Spanish Angels"
Thursday, May 17, 2007
27
G'day All
Have been missing for a couple of days but am back in town
Its almost weekend time again
Another funny Beer ad from Budweiser
I was meeting a friend in a bar, and as I went in, I noticed twopretty girls looking at me. "Nine," I heard one whisper as I passed. Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl hadjust rated me a nine out of ten. "Idon't want to ruin it for you", he said "But when I walked in they were speaking German".
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "sorryabout the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip. "The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
A few Cartoons to put a smile on your dial
An old preacher was dying.
He sent a message for his accountant and his lawyer,
both church members, to come to his home.
When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom.
As they entered the room,
the preacher held out his hands
and motioned for them to sit on either side of the bed.
The preacher grasped their hands,
sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.
Both the accountant and the attorney
were touched and flattered that the old preacher
would ask them to be with him during his final moments.
They were also puzzled because the preacher
had never given any indication that
he particularly liked either one of them. Finally, the lawyer asked,
“Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?” The old preacher mustered up some strength,
then said weakly,
“Jesus died between two thieves,
and that’s how I want to go, too.”
A man sped down the highway,
feeling secure in a group of cars
all traveling at the same speed.
However, when he passed a patrol car,
it pulled out behind him, lights flashing. The police officer handed him a citation,
took the driver's signature
and was starting to walk away when the man said,
"Officer, I know I was speeding,
but I don't think it's fair.
Plenty of other drivers around me were going just as fast.
Why did I get a ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman asked. "Um, yeah ..." the startled man replied. "Ever catch all the fish?"
Pictures of Western Australia
These two pictures are of the Horizontal Falls
in the Kimberleys
There are in a very remote hard to access area
This is a tidal river where up to 5-6 metre tides occur
The second picture shows a photo taken of the
back of a tourist boat, taken at low tide
You would not attempt this when the High tide is running
I just love this song Sloop John B by the Beach Boys
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