Friday, June 1, 2007

33

June 1st is recognised as International Childrens Day

On Wednesday my daughter Rennae gave birth to her third child Amber Lee

which brings the tally of grandchildren to 5







The above images were borrowed from the Apache blogsite


An early arrest is expected



Excellent driving skills as driver averts rollovers to the bottom
Iwish I had a few of these to give to those in need






Gasoline Humor
Sometimes you have to laugh about even the serious stuff...
A young Nun who worked for a local home health care agency
was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas.
As luck would have it, there was a gas station just one block away.
She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas
to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.
The attendant regretfully told her that the only gas can
he owned had just been loaned out,
but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.
Since the Nun was on the way to see a patient,
she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.
After looking through her car for something to
carry to the station to fill with gas,
she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient.
Always resourceful, she carried it to the station,
filled it with gasoline, and carried it back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car,
two men watched her from across the street.
One of them turned to the other and said:
"I know that it is said that Jesus turned water into wine,
but if that car starts,
I'll go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life."

Todays funny cartoons







In the dead of summer,
a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake.
It was a hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular:
"Gosh, if I go down three inches,
I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.
"There was a fish in the water, thinking,
"Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him.
"There was a bear on the shore, thinking,
"Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches,
that fish will jump for the fly and I will eat him."
It also happened that a hunter was farther up
the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwish.
"Gosh," he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches,
and that fish leaps for it,
that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish,
at which point I'll shoot the bear
and then have a proper trophy."
You think this is enough activity for one bank of one lake?
There is more.
A wee mouse down by the hunter's foot was thinking,
"Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches
and that fish jumps for that fly,
and that bear grabs for that fish,
the dumb hunter will shoot the bear
and drop his cheese sandwich."
A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought,
as was fashionable to do on the bank
of this particular lake around lunch time,
"Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches
and that fish jumps for that fly
and that bear grabs for that fish
and that hunter shoots that bear,
and the mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich
then I can have mouse for lunch."
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry
that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water.
The fish swallows the fly.
The bear grabs the fish.
The hunter shoots the bear.
The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich.
The cat jumps for the mouse.
The mouse ducks,
and the cat falls into the water and drowns.
The moral of this story is:
Whenever a fly goes down three inches,
some pussy is probably in danger





Emu's crossin the road like they own it



Wedge Tailed Eagle enjoying some road kill


Johnny Cash and Charley Pride
Hank Williams medley



Thought for the week :
Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D
– that is Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder –
this is how it manifests;
: Today I decided to water my garden.
As I turned on the hose in the driveway,
I looked over at my car and decided it needed washing.
As I started toward the garage,
I noticed that there was mail on the porch table
that I brought up from the letterbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I laid my car keys down on the table,
put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table
and noticed that the bin is full.
So, I decided to put the bills back on the table
and take out the rubbish first.
But then I thought since I'm going to be near the mailbox,
when I take out the rubbish anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I took my chequebook off the table
and saw that there was only 1 cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
so I went inside the house to my desk where
I found the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I start looking for my cheques,
but first I push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I saw that the Coke was getting warm
and I decided I should put it in the fridge to keep it cold.
As I headed toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter caught my eye
- they needed to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter
and I discovered my reading glasses
that I've been searching for all morning.
I decided I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
filled a container with water
and suddenly I spotted the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realised that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I will be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decided to put it back in the lounge where it belongs,
but first I'd water the flowers.
I poured some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying
to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
----the garden isn't watered,
----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid
,----the rubbish hasn't been taken out,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers on the counter don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
----I can't find the TV remote,
----I can't find my reading glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,
and I'm really tired.
I realise this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mails .
Do me a favour, will you?
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet,
your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.
P.S. I just remembered.
I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY 9 HOURS AGO!




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