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A day early this week ,as Iwill be missing in action for the next two days
Have some Xmas festivities to attend to
Enjoy this edition




Little Drumer Boy....Bob Seger



Lyrics
Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To set before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,
So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
When we come.
Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give the King,
pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,
Shall I play for you,
pa rum pum pum pum,
On my drum?
Mary nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,
Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum.



Santa and Reindeers ....... I'm dreaming of a White Christmas

[Thanks to Geoff Collins]

Another club
A hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead rhino

with a pigmy standing beside it.

Amazed, he asked: "Did you kill that?".

The pigmy said "Yes."

The hunter asked "How could a little bloke like you kill a huge beast like that?"

Said the pigmy: "I killed it with my club."

The astonished hunter asked: "How big is your club?"

The pigmy replied: "There's about 60 of us."

Penguin Xmas Club

Snoopy vs The Red Baron ......Xmas song



Worth thinking about

Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them,

"I must tell you something.

We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent."

"Thank God," says an elderly nun in the back.

"I’m so tired of chardonnay."

---------

Three priests went for a hike one day.

It was very hot.

They were sweating and were exhausted when they came upon a small lake.

Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water.

Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom".

As they were crossing an open area, a group of ladies came along from town.

Unable to get to their clothes in time,

two of the priests covered their privates,

but the third one covered his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on,

the first two priests asked the third why he covered his face rather than his privates.

The third replied, "I do not know about you, but in my congregation,

it is my face they would recognize."

Some more Xmas cartoons

Thrre little pigs...Mistake

Thanks to Josie Jamieson]





The Indian Cricket team has arrived in Australia to play three tests against the Aussies

So I thought I would get in first with the "sledging"

Here are a couple of them with their look a likes

You gotta love Australian thinking….
A major International company was looking to hire someone for an important position,

so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down

to three people from different parts of the World.

In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question

to answer within 24 hours, and the one with the best answer would get the job.

The question was:
A man and a woman are in bed, nude.

The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man,

and the man is lying on his side Facing the woman’s back.

What is the man’s name?
After the 24 hours was up,

the three were brought in to give their answers.
The first from Canada, says “My answer is, there IS no answer.”

The second, from New Zealand, says “My answer is, that

there is no way to determine the answer with the information we were given.”

The third one from Australia says

“I’m not exactly sure, butI have it narrowed down to two names.

It’s either:
Willie Turner or Willie Nailer.”

The Australian got the job…

--------

Santas new Apprentice
With the worlds population growing at a huge rate…

Santa recently employed an Apprentice to help relieve the load

off delivering presents on Christmas Eve.
For the past 3 years poor Santa has only just made it through his deliveries…
So Ladies

this year Santa has asked me to introduce you to

Tim!
Santa's new apprentice

Although the Elves have not yet finished his uniform he very kindly agreed

to have his photo taken anyway… even though he was well and truly tired
If you see him at your place Christmas Eve under your tree do not be alarmed….

if you catch him you get a special surprise….
Tim is also available for Christmas Photos!
so Ladies any takers to sit Santas new apprentice's knee ?
Scroll down

“ This woman rushed to see her doctor,

looking very much worried and all strung out.

She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me.

When I woke up this morning,

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up,

my skin was all wrinkled and pasty,

my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out,

and I had this corpse-like look on my face!

What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes,

then calmly says:

“Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight.”

----

Round two

Todays music videos are some classics from the 70's

Smokie....Oh Carol

Captain and Tenille...... Do that to me one more time

Just love Tenille's hot and sultry voice

and Smokie again

Smokie.....Mexican Girl

A CYCLOPEDIA OF FRENCH JOKES"

I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."

- General George S. Patton.

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."

- Norman Schwartzkopf.

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."

- Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"

- Jacques Chirac, former President of France

"The only time France wants others to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."

- Regis Philbin.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." -

David Letterman

The only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada.

- Ted Nugent.

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag,

and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."

- Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'

- Roy Blunt

Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if you are French.

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?

A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris?

It's not known, it's never been tried."

- Rep. R. Blount (MO)

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney: The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists