447

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Avid readers of this blog will know that I have posted this video

below [and others in the series]

 but when I saw it again the other day decided to repost it

• Entrants in the Philips-sponsored constrained cinema competition

Tell It Your Way were restricted to just six lines of dialogue:

 “What is that?,”

 “It’s a unicorn,”

 “Never seen one up close before,”

 “Beautiful,”

“Get away, get away,” and “I’m sorry.”

Keegan Wilcox’s stunning Porcelain Unicorn
was hand-picked as the Grand Prize Winner
by director Ridley Scott( via +Tabitha O'Melay)

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 Rare Pictures

 Salvador Dali and Walt Disney

 Eartha Kitt and James Dean

 And Warhol and Alfred Hitchcock

 Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, Barbara Streisand and Sidney Poitier

 Marlon Brandon and Miram Makeba

 Salvador Dali and Coco Channel

 Charlie Chaplin and Albert Einstein

Ella Fitzgerald and Marilyn Monroe

[more next post]

thanks Duke

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Topical

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Currently Santaco (Qantas's new Indian budget Airline)

 are only flying between Mumbai and Christmas Island,

 but hope to introduce further services to Australia later this year.

CASA say they will be trying to stop the planes

as they are unsure about their airworthiness.

Spokesmen for both Jetstar and Virgin

 said that they will not be beaten on price.

A spacious Business Class is on the upper deck. (See below)

thanks Gordon H

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 Scary news from California!

In the wake of Bin Laden’s death, Radical Muslims

 are planning to go on a rampage in Southern California,

 from Los Angeles south to the Mexican border,

 killing anyone who is a legal US citizen.

Police fear the death toll could be as high as 23.

We will keep you posted on future developments.



 And in Wales

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This picture was taken in Puerto Rico shortly after Hurricane Irene ravaged the island.

thanks Kitty L

 

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Neil Young



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Ways To Stay Stressed

BECOME A WORKAHOLIC.
Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and weekends.
 Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for sissies.

DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS.
 Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done
and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance.

PROCRASTINATE.
Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.

WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL
. Worry about the stock market, earthquakes,
 the approaching Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.

BECOME NOT ONLY A PERFECTIONIST BUT SET IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS
......and either beat yourself up, or feel guilty, depressed, discouraged,
 and/or inadequate when you don't meet them.

THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.
Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn't be treated as one


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Those Funny Animals

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Fails and Wins

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Demolition Las Vegas Style

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Dear optimists and pessimists,

While you were all arguing over

 the glass being half full or half empty,

I drank it.

Sincerely,

An opportunist

thanks Liz Z

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Are you getting the best out of your transport??

thanks Jayne M

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Happy Feet..Happy Story

Also in New Zealand

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Doctor, doctor

Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two places.

Well don't go back there again then.

Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?

I never make rash promises.

Doctor, Doctor, I keep chewing on my feather pillow.

You do look a little down in the mouth.

Doctor, doctor your patient insists she's invisible.

Tell her I can't see her today.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a goat.

How long have you felt like that?

Ever since I was a kid.

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a woodworm.

How boring for you.

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit.

Will you get out of my hair.

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a moth.

Move, you’re in my light.

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a dog .

Sit!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog.

What's wrong with that?

I think I'm going to croak .

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a snail.

Don't worry we'll soon have you out of your shell.

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an electric eel.

That's shocking.

Doctor, Doctor my husband smells like fish.

Poor sole.

Doctor, doctor, I've broken my leg. What shall I do?

Limp.

Doctor, doctor, I'm frightened of squirrels.

You must be nuts.

Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she's a hen.

I'll soon cure her.

What - and lose all the eggs?

Doctor, Doctor I'm having trouble with my breathing.

I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that!

Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids,

 my gall bladder, my varicose veins; and myappendix,

 but I still don't feel well.

That's quite enough out of you.

Doctor, doctor, I can't stop trembling.

I'll be with you in a couple of shakes.

Doctor, doctor, I keep hearing ringing in my ears.

Nonsense, you're as sound as a bell.

Doctor, doctor, sorry I'm late, I broke my ankle.

Another lame excuse.

Doctor, doctor, my mind keeps wandering.

Don't worry - it's too weak to go very far.

Doctor, doctor, what are my chances of losing weight?

Slim.

Doctor, doctor, what's the best way to stop my nose running?

Stand on your head.

Doctor, doctor, my daughter thinks she's an actress.

Don't worry - it's just a stage she's going through.

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards.

I'll deal with you later.

Doctor, doctor, my husband thinks he's a parachutist.

Tell him to drop in and see me.

Doctor, doctor, my husband thinks he's Moses.

Tell him to stop taking the Tablets.

Doctor, doctor, my wife's hanging from the window sill.

Tell her to hold on.

Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar!

Have you taken anything for it?

Doctor, doctor, I'm allergic to the high jump.

Don't worry - you'll soon get over it.

Doctor, doctor, I'm at death's door.

Don't worry - I'll pull you through.

Doctor, doctor, I'm only four feet tall.

You'll just have to be a little patient.

Doctor, doctor, I'm worried about my insomnia.

Don't lose any sleep over it.

Doctor, doctor, I can't stand 'All My Children' and 'General Hospital.

Try keeping off cereals for a while.

Doctor, doctor, I can't stop climbing mountains.

Relax, we'll soon have you in peak condition.

Doctor, doctor, I can't stop fishing.

Drop me a line when you're feeling better.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bucket.

You do look a little pail.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a camera.

I'll be with you in a flash.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.

Pull yourself together.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a clock.

Don't worry - you're just a little wound up.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a tennis racket.

Don't worry - you're just highly strung.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm an elevator.

You may coming going down with something.

Doctor, Doctor my little boy has just swallowed a roll of film.

Well lets just wait and see if anything develops.

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm going to die.

Don't be silly - that's the last thing you'll do.

thanks Toni

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The toughest job in North Korea

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Some funny Signs

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When I worked as cashier in the Kroger store many years ago,

 I noticed a sexy little blonde who dashed into the store to pick up just a couple items.

She marched right to my Express Checkout Lane.

 I was on the phone at the time, doing a price check.

In a huff, the blonde said,

 "Excuse me, I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out?"

I looked her up and down, and said,

 "Hmmm. You look pretty good to me!"

She seemed to be rather torn between throwing stuff at me

and smiling over the compliment!

 

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Here is another video that i have posted before

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.