-------------------------
A video of a young Chinese girl playing the piano is about to make your day.
The footage may force you to examine the excuses you make
not to tackle those major challenges in your own life.
"Souvenir D'enfance" by Richard Clayderman is not an easy piece to play.
The girl plays beautifully, with the sort of lyrical maturity
not often found in youngsters new to their instruments.
Even more impressive, she first sat down at a piano a mere three years ago.
And if that wasn't enough to wow you, she has no fingers on her right hand.
Watch the amazing performance below.
---------
Zara Larsson from Sweden
Europes Got Talent
-----------------------------------
1928 CAR REPAIR MAILER.
AUTOMOTIVE REPAIR ADVERTISEMENT IN 1928...
SENT ON A PENNY POSTCARD
thanks Liz Z
----------------------------
The old native American wanted a loan for $500.
The banker pulled out the loan application,
“What are you going to do with the money?”
“Take jewellery to city and sell it,” was the response.
“What have you got for collateral?”
“Don’t know collateral.”
“Well that’s something of value that would cover the cost of the loan.
Have you got any vehicles?”
“Yes, 1949 Chevy pickup.”
The banker shook his head, “How about livestock?”
“Yes, I have a horse.”
“How old is it?”
“Don’t know, has no teeth.”
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.
Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank.
He pulled out a roll of bills, “Here to pay.” he said.
He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off.
“What are you going to do with the rest of that money?”
“Put in tepee.”
“Why don’t you deposit it in my bank,” he asked.
“Don’t know deposit.”
“You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you.
When you want to use it you can withdraw it.”
The old Indian leaned across the desk, “What you got for collateral?”
Labor Day
---------------------------------
Red Green
--
-------------------------------
I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals.
I used to carefully note in large clear letters,
“Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables or
“Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”
However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner
because he never asked for any of those things.
So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.
If you look in my freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels.
You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say:
“Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.”
My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies
when I ask him what he wants for dinner,
I know that it is there waiting
-----------------------------
Those Funny Animals
Gotta loves this
thanks Kitty L
------------------------
Dear Tide,
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have.
I've used it all of my married life,
as my Mom always told me it was the best.
Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.
My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was,
and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.
One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!
I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction,
all of the stains came out!
In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday
told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative
and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer
considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief!
Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect!
I thank you, once again, for having a great product.
Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.
Your friend forever,
Liz.
--------------------------------
Only in Asia
thanks Jayne M
----
44 years ago this week this was at the top
--------
Where's Waldo??
thanks Toni
--------------------------
------------------------------------
Three Day Silence
My wife has not spoken to me in three days.
I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night
when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.
She nudged me and whispered, “Wake up, wake up!”
“What’s the matter”? I asked.
“There are burglars in the kitchen.
I think they’re eating the tuna casserole I made tonight.”
“That’ll teach them!” I replied.
-----------------------
what can I say!!!!
---------------------
--------------------------------------------
Wendy the whiskey maker lived in the back hills of Kentucky
and produced some of the finest whiskey available in the area.
One day, as she transported her product to the black market,
she had truck trouble and had to stop by the side of the road.
A young man named Tommy was passing by and stopped to help her.
He was unaware of her illegal activities and remained in the dark
throughout the course of the growing friendship which ensued.
In due course, they even became lovers with him
completely unaware of her activities.
One evening, the government raided her place of business and arrested her.
Her young lover was with her when she was arrested
and suddenly became aware of her past.
The officers then transported her to the local county jail,
where she remained overnight.
Tommy came to visit her in the morning and as he left the sheriff asked him:
"I guess this will change your feelings about her, won't it lad?"
Tommy's response was quick and emphatic.
He turned to the sheriff and simply said:
"She may be only a whiskey maker, but I love her still."
A group of cowboys riding with the sheriff was following a band of outlaws.
They were not gaining on them at all.
The sheriff asked for suggestions.
One of the cowboys said,
"We could add a male bovine to our group."
The sheriff nodded and said,
"That's posse bull."
Did you hear about the Arab baker?
Every morning at 6:00 a.m. he’d bow to the yeast.
--------------------------------------
More Rare Pictures
John Lennon,Yoko Ono and Pierre Elliott Trudeau
Woody Allen and Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney
David Bowie, Art Garfunkel, Paul Simon, Yoko Ono, John Lennon and Roberts Flack
Ringo Starr and David Bowie
Elvis Presley, Joe Esposito, Frank Sinatra and Fred Astaire
Vivien Leigh and Ringo Starr
Julie Andrews and Audrey Hepburn
Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly
Dean Martin,Shirley Maclaine and Elvis Presley
thanks Duke
-------------------------------
DON'T LOOK BELOW FOR THE ANSWERS UNTIL YOU HAVE TRIED
answering the questions!
A TEST FOR OLD KIDS
So have some fun my sharp-witted friends.
This is a test for us 'old kids'!
The answers are printed below, but don't cheat.
01.After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset,
the grateful citizens would ask,
Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer,
I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?
________________.
02.When the Beatles first came to the U.S. .In early 1964,
we allwatched them on The _______________ Show.
03'Get your kicks,
__________________.'
04.'The story you are about to see is true.
The names have been changed to
___________________.'
05.'In the jungle, the mighty jungle
________________.'
06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi,
we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could
go in a dance called the
_____________.'
07.Nestle's makes the very best . .. . .
_______________.'
08..Satchmo was America 's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.'
Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us.
His name was
_________________.
09.What takes a licking and keeps on ticking?
_______________.
10. Red Skeleton's hobo character was named
__________________ and
Red always ended his television show by saying,
'Good Night, and
'________ ________.. '
11.Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning
their______________.
12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in
the front was called the VW.
What other names did it go by?
____________ &_______________.
13.In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.'
This was a tribute to ___________________.
14..We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit.
The Russians did it. It was called
___________________.
15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic
ring that we twirled around our waist.
It was called the
________________.
ANSWERS :
01..The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
02.The Ed Sullivan Show
03..On Route 66
04..To protect the innocent!
05.The Lion Sleeps Tonight
06.The limbo
07.Chocolate
08..Louis Armstrong
09.The Timex watch
10..Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.'
11.Draft cards (Bras were also burned. Not flags, as some have
guessed)
12.Beetle or Bug
13.Buddy Holly
14.Sputnik
15.Hoola-hoop
thanks Kitty L
--------------------------------
THE WORLDS SHORTEST TRAIN
---------------
--------------------------
You are golfing and have just hit your golf ball into a buried lie in tall grass.
You know it is very difficult to hit the ball back into play from that type of lie.
Well, there is now a product that can remedy that frustrating situation.
No need to thank me for this, just buy me a cool one next time you see me.
Click here
thanks Kitty L
-----------------------------
The Lemon Picker
The woman applying for a job in a lemon orchard seemed
to be far too qualified for the job;
given her liberal arts degree fromthe Sydney University
and her jobs as a social worker and school teacher.
The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this:
"Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!"
"I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Falcons, and I voted for John Howard."
--------------------------------
Don't point at a Rattlesnake
thanks Jayne M
--------------------
Contractor's of the year
thanks Ray S
----------
There were two spinster sisters that lived alone on the second floor
of a frame wooden house on our block and they sometimes
would display their ice card in the window for 25 lbs.
My uncle, knew they could never scrape together the money to pay their bill
but he always stopped and took all the broken ice pieces off his truck
and carried it up to their place and packed it in their small wooden ice box.
One day, towards the end of summer, after he had packed their box,
one of the sisters stepped out on the back porch and asked to speak to him.
She seemed a bit shy and seemed flushed in embarrassment,
“Young man, my sister and I know you have helped us this summer with the ice,
even when knowing we could not pay.
We’ve read in books recently that sometimes women
offer their bodies for sex in exchange for favors.
Well, since we have not been able to raise any money,
we decided to do that for you and since I am the youngest I am offering myself.”
Well, my uncle always claimed that he tried to convince her that it wasn’t necessary,
but knowing him, that’s highly doubtful.
He said after she insisted, he finally gave in,
and then they supposedly went at it with youthful fervor.
Afterwards, he thanked the woman and dressed,
took out his receipt book and wrote “Paid In Full”
and handed it to the sister.
“Now, look here young man, we got that ice a little piece at a time
and we damn well intend paying for it the same way!”
---------------------
I did not know this.....
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure,
When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure,
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems,
When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is bad for you.
Warn all your friends
thanks Liz Z
------------------
-----------------------
Slim Dusty
-----------------------------
I recently found this picture of me and my first babysitter
------------------------
At a wedding reception…
At a wedding party recently someone yelled,
“All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.”
The bartender was crushed to death.
-----------------------------
PHILS PHILOSOPHY
Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.
-------------------------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment