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 Blue Christmas

thanks Diane McV

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A Scotsman moves to Canada and attends his first baseball game.

The first batter approaches the batters' box,

 takes a few swings and then hits a double.

 Everyone is on their feet screaming "Run"

The next batter hits a single

. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers "RUN RUN".

 The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans.

The fifth batter comes up and four balls go by.

 The Umpire calls: "Walk."
The batter starts his slow trot to first base.

 The Scot stands up and screams,

 "Run ye lazy bastard, RRUNN!"

The people around him begin laughing.

 Embarrassed, the Scot sits back down.

 A friendly fan notes the man's embarrassment, leans over and explains,

 "He can't run -- he's got four balls."

The Scot stands up and screams

, "Walk with pride, Laddie! Walk with pride."

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thanks Gordon H

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Done like you've never seen before.
 This video from the small Yupiq Eskimo Village of Quinhagak, Alaska ,
 was a school computer project intended for the other Yupiq villages in the area.
Much to the villagers' shock, over a half million people have viewed it.

thanks Kitty L

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DEAR ABBY:

'I have always wanted to have my family history traced,

 but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?'

Sam in California.

DEAR SAM:

'Register as a Republican, and run for public office.'

Abby

thanks Liz Z

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Those Funny Animals

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Watch until the end

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Hurrying to finish her shopping,

 a young woman slipped on the wet pavement and fell to the ground.

 A passing vicar helped her to her feet, saying,

 "This is the first time I have picked up a fallen woman!"

To which she replied

, "And sir, this is the first time I have been picked up by a man of the cloth."

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German Technology





thanks Kitty L

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thanks Danny C

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Air Force Test

This will drive you crazy! Have fun!

The object of the game is to move the red block around

without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls.

If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.

 It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots.

 They areexpected to go for at least 2 minutes.

Give it a try but be careful..

.it is addictive (or forward it to someone you want to frustrate)!

Click here --

 Air Force Test

 
 

thanks Ray S

 

 

 

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A magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two kids into armchairs.

He started to panic and thought to himself,

"What on earth have I done?"

He began to ponder,

 "How am I going to bring back my beloved family?

 I don't know any magic to turn them back into people!"

So, he thought for a while and decided a good idea

 was to take them to a hospital and see if the surgeon

 could operate and bring them back.

He loaded them into his van and off he rushed to the local hospital.

He walked up and down the hospital hall,

and after some serious surgery, he asks the doctor,

 "Doc, how are they?"

The doctor replied, "Comfortable!"

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Irish Beer

thanks Diane McV

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thanks Kitty L

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POSTERS

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Golf Ball

GOLF BALL HITTING STEEL WALL AT 150 MPH..!!

This one you will not believe, but @ 70,000 pictures a second,

 it will make you a believer

. Whether you are a golfer or not, this is pretty amazing.

 I thought golf balls were fairly hard.

 Golfers and non golfers will be interested in seeing this.

No one has a swing speed of 150 mph, including Tiger Woods

 who is just under 130 mph.

I had no idea the golf ball compresses this much.

But first a little history I recently learned:

1 - The Pro V-1 golf ball by Titleist is actually a three part ball,

 but you have to have a club head speed of at least 100 mph or more

 to be able to compress all three stages.

 If you don't the ball never fully compresses

and you don't get the distance out of it that the pro's do.

2 – We duffers will get more distance out of a ball that only has two stages of compression,

 like the Titleist NX Tour.

It is more suited to our swing speed and we can compress

 it upon impact and can hit it further than the Pro V-1 ball.

3 - So the secret is not to buy the most expensive balls

 out there because we are actually decreasing the distance we can hit the ball,

 unless your club head speed is over 100 mph,

 which unless you are 21 to 50 years old, isn't going to happen!!!

 Watch this video, this shows what a golf ball goes through when hit at 150 mph,

 it's amazing to me how long these balls last.

 Maybe that's why the Pros use new balls ever time they play.

Remember, it's 70,000 frames per second.

thanks Wayne W

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thanks Kitty L

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thanks Shelagh N

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End of Civilisation

thanks Kitty L

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.