Phils Phun

518

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The work was created with commuters and passers-bye from the Haymarket Bus Station in Newcastle UK. Most of the participants are non players, many had never touched a piano before, we just convinced them to donate a note or two. Thanks to all who participated. The work was funded by The Arts Council of England, and Nexus Art, with support in kind from MITES Liverpool. and a special thanks to Tyneside Piano Company for agreeing to install a mini grande in the bus station.

Topical!!

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follow the frog

Imagine

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A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City.

He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around.

"A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps.

A policeman checks the crowd

- no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind.

"A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again.

Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age.

"Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic.

But for fifty years now I'm living behind St. Elizabeth's Catholic Church on First Avenue,

and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany.

So maybe I can be of some comfort to this poor dying man."

The policeman agreed and brought the octogenarian over to where the dying man lay. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice,

"B-4. I-19. N-38. G-54. O-72. . ."

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When they were young!!!

if you don't recognise any the names are below

names........

1 Matt Damon.....2 Harrison Ford......3 Jack Nicholson........4 Barbara Streiesland

5.....Dolly Parton 6.......Cher 7.......George Clooney 8.......Hugh Hefner

9.....Oprah Winfrey 10.......Robin Williams 11....Bruce Willis 12.....Bruce Springsteen

13......Julia Roberts 14.......Steve Jobs 15......Sarah Palin 16.....Ladt Ga Ga

17.....Leonard Di Caprio 18......Bill Murray 19.......Danny Di Vito

20.......Meg Ryan 21...Elvis Presley 22.....Hugh Grant

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Aussie Smiles

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thanks Wayne W

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Those Funny Animals

Rufus

thanks Toni S

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Baby Elephant Rescue

Trust Me

thanks Glynis R

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Foods of the world Quiz

select your answer by clicking on the twirling utensil. It will give you the correct answer, then move to the next country.
It's funny and hard.....
click link

http://www.fekids.com/img/kln/flash/DontGrossOutTheWorld.swf

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A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!'

The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what's happening.

She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was kept repeating, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."

An automobile mechanic was working under a car, and some brake fluid accidentally dripped into his mouth.

"Wow," he thought to himself. "That stuff tastes good!"

The next day he told a friend about his amazing discovery. "It's really good," he said. "I think I'll have a little more today."

His friend was concerned but didn't say anything.

The next day the mechanic told his friend he'd drunk an entire cup full of the brake fluid. "It's great stuff!"

A few days later he was up to a bottle a day. And now his friend was really worried.

"Dude! Don't you know brake fluid is toxic? It's very bad for you," said the friend. "You'd better stop drinking it."

"Hey, no problem," he said. "I can stop any time."

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Mustang "Dreamer"

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A guy goes in to a recording studio and hands the engineer what must be 50 grand in cash. He says, "I want you to record exactly what I say, then use the leftover money to print up as many CDs as you can, and send them to every record label head, A&R rep, talent scout and manager in the business."

The engineer looks at the huge amount of cash and agrees. He sets up a mic in the booth then heads back into the console. The guy goes into the booth, closes the door and starts to speak:

"Since I was little, all I ever wanted to be was a musician. I trained with the best in the business, practiced every day, and made myself to be the best I could possibly be. I learned to write songs and record, played every instrument on my demo tapes and created masterpieces. And then I brought them to you people at the record companies. And you rejected me. I tried again and again, refining and bettering my work, but the response was always the same - that people didn't want musicianship, talent and songs written from the heart. They wanted easy to swallow crap that was familiar and easy to listen to. They wanted the same old thing, instead of something original!"

"Well, I'm fed up! I've worked my whole life and have never been successful! You've ruined my dream, crushed my hopes and destroyed me! I have nothing left to live for, and I hope you're all happy!"

With that he takes a gun out of his pocket and shoots himself dead, right in the vocal booth.

Just then the engineer comes on the talkback mic and says, "Okay, I got the levels all set. Let's try a take."

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At the Duplex

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An English explorer was taking part in an expedition to the Himalayas.

Led by a grizzled local guide, they ascended one of the less frequently climbed peaks. Roughly half way up the side of the mountain, one of the expedition came across a set of large manlike tracks in the snow.

"Yeti tracks" the guide said with a gruff voice as he passed them, "One thing you must know before we proceed; Do not, under any circumstances, touch the yeti."

The expedition heeded his warning and continued to climb the slope, night fell and the explorers set up their tents. In the dead of night the Englishman awoke to the sound of his tent entrance unzipping. Half asleep he looked up to see an enormous eight foot yeti standing above him. In fear for his life the explorer jumped up and ran out of the tent, banging into the yeti in the process. The yeti, after being touched by the explorer let out a deafening howl and began to chase the explorer down the slope.

The explorer ran away from the camp as quickly as his legs could take him, after he rounded a corner he looked behind him to see the bounding form of the yeti still chasing him.

So the explorer continued to run, reaching the bottom of the mountain in just two days, exhausted he paused to rest awhile. After just a few moments, the explorer began to hear the soft 'thud thud thud' of yeti feet on snow, he looked up the slope to see the yeti still chasing him and only moments away.

The explorer took off again, reaching a supply shack a couple of miles away, once there quickly buying a mountain bike and pedalling his way to the nearest town, some fifty miles away. The journey took him several days over the rough terrain and after his arrival he booked into a hotel to recuperate. Two days later the man left his hotel to see about booking transport back to England. As soon as he turned around though he saw the form of the yeti on the horizon, bounding towards him at great speed.

Mortified by this sight, the explorer hurriedly bought a car and drove it away from the village all the way to Delhi. Once he arrived, the man wasted no time in getting on the next plane to London.

After his arrival back in London, the man went back to his London home for a while to recover and to plan his next expedition. He had been there less than two weeks and was gazing out of a window when he saw a familiar large bounding, manlike creature running down his street; the man couldn't believe it, somehow the yeti had followed him to England!

The man had little choice but to run away again, he used any means he could, bike, car, or on foot to try to escape the yeti, but each time he looked behind him, it was just moments before the yeti came into view.

Eventually the man made it all the way to Edinburgh and from there ran into the open Scottish countryside. He continued to run but the yeti just kept getting closer and closer, and in the end the man could run no more.

With the yeti less than a minute away from him, the man finally stopped and turned around to face the oncoming creature. With the last of his strength he stood up straight as the yeti caught up with him. The eight foot tall yeti towered above the man who could only stare in terror. The yeti extended his hand and poked the Englishman squarely in the chest with one long finger and with a low rumbling voice the yeti began to speak: "Tag! You’re it!"

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So real, its scary...

POSTERS

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SENIORS

"Remember to wear a helmet"

"You don't wear socks with Sandals"

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At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if
he planned to be around for his 104th.
"I certainly do," he replied. " Statistics show that
very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

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Not everybody shops at Walmart !!