Phils Phun

524

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Santa is coming

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Judith Durham

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Some memorable pictures from 2012

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Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.

"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

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Like her or loathe her

Yon can't say Prime Minister of Australia Julia Gillard

doesn't have a sense of humour

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Xmas Funnies

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Xmas Wish

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Hindu Christmas

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On a more serious note

please watch all of this video

and thank at the end of it

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Those Funny Animals

Jingle Bells

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My Mom is the best!!!!

thanks Kitty L

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At the Duplex

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Police in Liverpool last night announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles with 25,000 rounds of ammunition, 20 tonnes of heroin, £5 million in forged UK banknotes and 25 trafficked Ukrainian prostitutes, all in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library in Toxteth.

Local residents were stunned, and a community spokesman said:

"We're all shocked; we never knew we had a library."

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November Fails!!!!

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Oh ..Canada!!!

Newfie's Xmas tree

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Canadian Tire

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Frenchman Yann Frisch

Amazing Sleight of hand

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Posters!!!

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At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the agent was checking the books, he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said,?"I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"?

"Good question ," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll."?

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.

But on he went, in his obnoxious way.?"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"? "Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. "Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?" ?

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the local IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick."

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Volkswagon in China

thanks Wayne W

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Rare pictures

Manfred von Richthofen, aka “The Red Baron”, petting his dog on an airfield.

Howard Carter, an English archaeologist, examining the opened sarcophagus of King Tut.

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Brazil in two minutes

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Signs for this week

This sure fooled me!!

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A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.

The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For $200, the cabby agrees.

Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife in bed with another man!

The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money’

HE paid for the Porsche I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.
HE paid for your season Bombers tickets.
HE paid for our house at the lake.
HE paid for your African tour and 4x4.
HE paid for our country club membership, and, HE even pays the monthly dues!'

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks over at the cabby and says, 'What would you do?
The cabby replies, 'I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.'

thanks Ray S

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY