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Bear Surprise

thanks Kitty L

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Pictures taken at the right moment

thanks Wayne W

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Glacier movement

thanks Geoff C

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Those Funny Animals

    A steak fanatic, my father always picks out cuts that include a bone,

 because he loves to nibble on it. 

 One night Father and I were finishing our dinners at a steakhouse,

 and I could tell he wanted to start gnawing on the bone.

  But he couldn't bear to do so in public. 

 "Excuse me," he said, calling the waitress over,

 "would you please wrap this bone up for my dog?" 

 Father has never owned a dog in his life, 

but the while lie seemed a tactful solution to his dilemma.

    A few minutes later, the waitress returned to our table. 

 "Here's your bone, sir," she said, handing over a large package.

 "And while I was in the kitchen,

 I grabbed a few more out of the scrap bucket."

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CANADA !!!!!!

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I tried to catch some fog, I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity; I can't put it down.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a TypeO.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory, I hope there's no pop quiz.

The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

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And to think we used to have to hold it up to the light.

 Remember the Kaleidoscope when we were kids?

This is really incredible! 

How amazing that someone could not only create this,

 but make it to change when you move your mouse/cursor...

or you can just sit back and let it change by itself.

Either way, it is awesome!!!

ALSO, IF YOU PUT YOUR CURSOR RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE,

 IT IS TRULY AMAZING !!!

Be sure to run your mouse over the screen slowly.

 http://inoyan.narod.ru/kaleidoskop.swf

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thanks Gordon H

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Grandpa goes wild

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Grandpa and Mrs Brown

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POSTERS

Cargo plane on a flooded runway

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Women and Men

The day I started my construction job,

 I was in the office filling out an employee form when I came to:

Single__, Married__, Divorced___ .

I marked single.

 Glancing the man next to me who was also filling out the form,

 I noticed he hadn't marked any of the blanks.

Instead he'd written,

 "Yes, in that order."

eternal masculinity

thanks Kitty L

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People clearly in need of help

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Cleaning the cobra pit

thanks Geoff C

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Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods.

 He leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. 

As luck would have it, his foolish dog knocked the gun over,

 it went off and Ole took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin. 

Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to

...and there was his doctor, Sven. 

"Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news.

 Da good news is dat you are going to be OK.

 Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal damage,

 and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot." 

"Vat's the bad news?" asks Ole. 

"The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty

 extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker.

I'm going to have  to refer you to my sister, Lena." 

"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole.

 "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" 

"Not exactly," Sven says. 

"She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra

. She's going to teach you vhere to put your fingers

, so you don't piss in your eye."

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This weeks signs

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY