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Nice ad with a good message

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Great Pictures from around the World

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Reindeer Water Crossing

Watch as 3,000 Arctic Reindeer Face a Mighty Water Crossing

 in this segment from the BBC series The Human Planet

. Elle-Helene, a young girl from northern Norway,

 leads the dramatic migration of 3,000 reindeer

 across 2 1/2 km of water to new pasture.

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Those Funny Animals

Be more Dog

Welcome Home Cat

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Ain't this the truth!!!

We hang petty thieves and appoint

 the great thieves to public office.

~Aesop, Greek slave & fable author

Those who are too smart to engage in politics 

are punished by being governed

by those who are dumber.

~Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher

Politicians are the same all over.

 They promise to build a bridge even where

there is no river.

~Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President;

 I’m beginning to believe it

~Quoted in ‘Clarence Darrow for the Defense’ by Irving Stone.

Politicians are people who,

 when they see light at the end of the tunnel,

 go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton, American actor/writer

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor

 and campaign funds from the rich,

 by promising to protect each from the other.

~Oscar Ameringer, “the Mark Twain of American Socialism.”

I offered my opponents a deal: 

“if they stop telling lies about me, I will

stop telling the truth about them”.

~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952..

A politician is a fellow who will lay down 

your life for his country.

~Texas Guinan. 19th century American businessman

I have come to the conclusion that politics

 is too serious a matter to be

left to the politicians.

~Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, 

it might be better to change the locks.

~Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner
 who won gold medals at the 1924

Olympic Games in Paris, 1902-1981)

I am reminded of a joke: 

What happens if a politician drowns in a river?

That is pollution!

What happens if all of them drown?

That is solution!!!

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Two year old Ballerina

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Life's too short for the wrong job

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In the North West of Western Australia

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Blast from the past

Released 50 years ago this past week

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A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor.

 "Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door.

 "Sorry," the woman replied.

 "Fred's gone for cotton." 

The next day the collector tried again. 

"Is Fred here today?"

 "No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton."

 When he returned the third day he humphed,

 "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again?" 

"No," the woman answered solemnly,

 "Fred died yesterday."

 Suspicious that he was being avoided,

 the collector decided to wait a week and investigate

 the cemetery himself.

 But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone,

 with this inscription:

 "Gone, But Not for Cotton."

 I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50

 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. 

He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'

I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything else,

 trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

 I can hardly contain myself.

If I planned to stay up past my bed time to pursue amour, 

could I say I planned to sin till late tonight?

If the devil lost his tail, where could he find a new one?

 At a store where they retail spirits.

If the FBI augmented its postal posters of 10 Most Wanted

 by painting the info on coffee containers and dispensing them,

 would I drink my morning coffee from a mug with the mug of a mugger?

If you dream in vivid colors, is that a pigment of your imagination?

If you think I'm a lousy driver, wait until you see me putt.

If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

If you want a pretty nurse, you've got to be patient.

I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

In all the commotion the little moth asleep

 on the light fixture awakened.

 He listened to the story in amazement.

 As the whole story unfolded the moth became terribly sad 

- Have you ever seen a moth bawl?

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Squirrel and the train

\

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POSTERS

Is this Canada's new National Anthem????

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ARAPROSDOKIANS... (Winston Churchill loved them)

 are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence

 or phrase is surprising or unexpected;

 frequently humorous. 

 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 

 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list. 

 3. Since light travels faster than sound, 

some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 

 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 

 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 

 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 

 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.

  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 

 8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,'

 then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 

 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  

To steal from many is research. 

 10. Buses stop in bus stations.  

Trains stop in train stations.

  On my desk is a work station .

 11. I thought I wanted a career.  

Turns out I just wanted pay cheques. 

 12. In filling out an application, where it says,

 'In case of emergency, notify:'

I put 'DOCTOR." 

 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can

 walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,

 and still think they are sexy. 

 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. 

 Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 

 16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 

 17. You do not need a parachute to skydive.  

You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 

 18. Money can't buy happiness, 

but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 

 19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding 

someone down so they can't get away. 

 20. I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not so sure. 

 21. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 

 22. To be sure of hitting the target,

 shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 

 23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 

 24. Change is inevitable, 

except from a vending machine.

 25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian 

any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 

 26. Where there's a will, there are relatives. 

 Finally: I'm supposed to respect my elders,

 but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

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Senior's

Bad Grandpa movie preview

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Grandpa's or Grandma's Hands...

          

This is good. I'll never look at my hands the same!

  

Grandpa, some ninety plus years,

 sat feebly on the patio bench. 

He didn't move,

 just sat with his head down staring at his hands.

 When I sat down beside him he didn't acknowledge my presence

 and  the longer I sat, 

I wondered if he was OK.

  

Finally, not really wanting to disturb him

 but wanting to check on him at the same time,

I asked him if he was OK.

  

He raised his head and looked at me and smiled.

 "Yes, I'm fine. 

Thank you for asking," he said in a clear strong voice.

   

"I didn't mean to disturb you, Grandpa, 

but you were just sitting here staring at your hands

 and I wanted to make sure you were OK," 

I explained to him.   

    

"Have you ever looked at your hands," he asked. 

"I mean really looked at your hands?"   

   

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them.

 I turned them over, palms up and then palms down.

 No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands  

as I tried to figure out the point he was making. 

Grandpa smiled and related this story:

    

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have,

 how they have served you well throughout your years. 

These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled, 

and weak have been the tools I have used all my life

to reach out and grab and embrace life. 

They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back.     

   * As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer.  

   

   * They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. 

   

   * They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. 

   

   * They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. 

   

   * Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that

 I was married and loved someone special. 

   

   * They trembled and shook when I buried my parents 

and spouse and walked my daughter down the aisle. 

   

   * They have covered my face, combed my hair,

 and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. 

   

   * They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. 

   

   * And to this day, when not much of anything else of me works real well,

 these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again  

   continue to fold in prayer.  

   

   * These hands are the mark of where 

I've been and the ruggedness of my life. 

   

   * But more importantly it will be these hands that G-d

 will reach out and take when he leads me home. 

   

    

When my hands are hurt or sore I think of Grandpa. 

I know he has been stroked and caressed

 and held by the hands of G-d.

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Bad Parenting

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Close Calls

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This weeks Signs

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Womem

Being a Mom

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This is a story of self-control 

and marksmanship by a brave,

 cool-headed woman with a small pistol

 against a fierce predator.  

What is the smallest caliber that

 you would trust to protect yourself?

Here is her story:

While out walking along the edge of a bayou 

just below Houma, Louisiana 

with my soon to be ex-husband discussing property settlement

 and other divorce issues, 

we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator

 suddenly emerging from the murky water 

and charging us with its large jaws wide open. 

 She must have been protecting her nest 

because she was extremely aggressive.

 If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber 

pistol with me, I would not be here today! 

 ?

 Just one shot to my estranged husband’s

 knee cap was all it took.  

The gator got him easily,

 and I was able to escape by just

 walking away at a brisk pace.

It’s one of the best pistols in my collection! 

Plus … the amount I saved in lawyer’s fees 

was more than worth the purchase price of the gun.

Moms Present

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Miscelleaneous

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Just for Fun

There’s a competition in Sweden called Kaninhoppning, or rabbit show jumping.

 a group of ferrets is called a business of ferrets.

Squirrels forgetting where they put their acorns 

results in thousands of new trees each year

Finally, just remember that somewhere,

 an orangutan just became BFF with a dog

 And someone is accidentally pushing a door that says “pull.”

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Blonde oil change

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.