564
Fences
The
father is a cop at a crime scene involving children.
- Probably a forensics cop.
- He's arguing with his wife at the end that she wouldn't take the boy that night,
- that's why he had to leave him in the car.
The child
unfortunately got curious
and saw the bodies from the massacre.
That little actor
portrayed the child's loss of innocence so well
. If he were in America he would
be on his way to an Oscar.
#####################
10 Smallest countries in the world
If you live in a large country like Canada or Australia,
you will hardly
be able to visit all parts of this vast country.
But there are countries where
you can walk from one end to the other in less than a hour
------
Tuvalu
Tuvalu is located in the South Pacific and has an area of 26 sq. kilometers.
The country also includes several coral islands.
Previously, these islands
belonged to the British crown
and were called Ellis Island.
Tuvalu gained
independence from the British in 1978.
Population - 10.5 thousand people.
Due
to the lack of natural resources
Tuvalu nation has to live through the help of
other countries.
---------------------------------
San Marino
San Marino has an area of 61 square kilometres
and has the smallest
population from the European Council countries.
It is the oldest independent
country in the world,
it was founded on September 3 301 year.
Besides San
Marino is one of the richest countries in the world.
----------------------
The Marshall Islands
This is a state in the middle of the Pacific Ocean
consists mainly of coral
islands.
Surface Area - 181 square kilometers, population 62,000.
In 1986, the
islands gained independence from the United States
, but so far only only the
USA helped the country to stay afloat
. The country has no natural resources,
and imports far exceed exports.
-----------------------
Federation of St. Kitts and Nevis
This micro state is located in the West Indies - between North and South
America.
The state is located on two islands.
First is 261 square km. It was
the first island settled by Europeans.
The main source of income, of course,
tourism,
but the island has well-developed agriculture
and offers offshore
banking.
---------------------------------
Monaco
Over the past 20 years due to the reduction of the sea level
the country has
increased and now it covers an area of 02.02 square km.
Monaco, the second
smallest monarchical state.
The country is one of the most populous countries
in the world
and employs 30,000 people.
The main income of the residents is
tourism.
------------------
Vatican
Vatican - the secret city-state located in near Rome
and covering an area of
44 hectares.
It was founded in 1929 and is managed by the Pope.
Vatican
boasts of the most beautiful buildings in the world -
the Sistine Chapel, St.
Peter's Basilica, the residence of the Pope -
Apostolic Palace, etc.
In
addition half of the country is the Vatican gardens.
Vatican official
population is around 800,
but thousands of Italians are employed by the
Vatican.
-------------------------------------
Nauru
Nauru is located in the South Pacific in Micronesia.
Area of the state is
21.3 square km.
Nauru is the smallest island nations in the world.
They gained
independence in 1968.
To date, the country's population is about nine thousand.
The government of Nauru has no armed forces
it is completely demilitarised
nation.
------------------------------------
Liechtenstein
Surface Area 160.4 sq. km. Liechtenstein is bordered by Switzerland
and Austria
and is one of the richest states.
Is home to more companies than residents.
All
major corporations have their offices located there
----------------------------------------
Seychelles
Seychelles cover an area of 455 square km, with a population of 84 thousand
people.
The archipelago is located to the north of Madagascar
and consists of
115 islands in the Indian Ocean. Islands
developed due to the export of
coconut, vanilla and cinnamon
. But since 1976, when the country gained
independence,
the main source of income became tourism.
-------------------------
Maldives
Maldives is an island nation located in the Indian Ocean.
Surface Area 298
square km. with a total population of 396,000.
Two thirds live in the capital
city Male.
The country developed by exporting dried tuna fish, molluscs
and
cowrie coconut ropes,
now the main income comes from tourism.
--------------------
One morning 3 South Carolina good ole boys
and 3 Yankees were in a
ticket line at the Greenville train station
heading to Charlotte for a big
football game.
The 3 Northerners each bought a ticket
and watched as the 3
Southerners bought just one ticket among them.
“How are the 3 of you going to travel on one 1 ticket?”
asked one
of the Yankees.
“Watch and learn,”
answered one of the boys from the South.
When the 6 travelers boarded the train,
the 3 Yankees sat down,
but the 3 Southerners crammed into a bathroom together
and closed the door.
Shortly after the train departed,
the conductor came around to
collect tickets.
He knocked on the bathroom door and said,
“Tickets please.”
The door opened just a crack and a single arm
emerged with a ticket in hand.
The
conductor took it and moved on.
The Yankees saw this happen
and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
Indeed, so clever that they decided to do the same thing
on the return trip and
save some money.
That evening after the game when they got to the Charlotte train
station,
they bought a single ticket for the return trip while
to their
astonishment the 3 Southerners
didn’t buy even 1 ticket.
“How are you going to travel without a ticket?”
asked one of the
perplexed Yankees.
“Watch and learn,"
answered one of the Southern boys.
When they boarded the train the 3 Northerners
crammed themselves
into a bathroom
and the 3 Southerners crammed themselves
into the other
bathroom across from it.
Shortly after the train began to move,
one of the Southerners left
their bathroom
and walked quietly over to the Yankee’s bathroom.
He knocked on
the door and said
“ticket please."
---------------------------------------------
Have you ever had a dream like this??
---------------------------------
Those Funny Animals
Animals behaving like humans
Kookaburra
Quite often awakened in the morning by these laughing in nearby Gum trees
------------------------
Random Thoughts and Phacts
----------------------------
Coincidence????
Pure moments of joy
--------------------------------
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A
father took his 7 year-old son to the zoo one day.
As they were walking around
viewing the animals in the nature compounds,
the son pointed to a lion
.
"Look, Dad, there's a frickin' lion!"
"What?" Dad said,
astonished.
The son repeated, "It's a frickin' lion!"
People started
looking.
Still surprised and not really sure how to reply,
the father finally
asked,
"How did you come up with that?"
"It's on the sign over
there," answered the son, pointing.
The father looked in the direction in
which his son was pointing.
Posted on the fence was a sign that read,
"African Lion."
A
poor Australian sheep farmer migrated to Texas.
Nearly bankrupt, more
misfortune befell when several of his lambs
tumbled into large vats of
vegetable dyes reserved for the local Navajo weavers.
Fortunately for him, a
wealthy woman who was passing by in her Cadillac
was enthralled by the sight of
the colorful lambs
cavorting about and ordered a dozen for pets.
Word soon
spread of her find and the Aussie could hardly
keep up with the demand for
these unique "status symbols."
He soon became known as the biggest
lamb dyer in all of Texas!
Once
upon a time, there were two skunks named In and Out.
When In was in, Out was
out and when In was out,
Out was in.
One day, when Out was in and In was out,
the mother
skunk asked Out to find In and bring In in.
So... he looked around the forest,
found In,
and brought In in.
The mother skunk asked,
"How did you find In so
quickly?"
He said, "In Stinks."
-------------------
Eagle Cam
###############
WINE
thanks Shelagh N
################
Funny Fails
--------------------------------------
Some Major events of the last decade
The
first version of the iPad was released in 2010.
Tablets had existed before, but
Apple made the technology affordable
and accessible for consumers—some sources
have called the iPad
the best selling gadget in history.
Just a few years
later, tablets seem commonplace,
with dozens of competitors on the market.
CERN's Large Hadron Collider Fires Up, Black
Hole Theorists Panic
------------------------------------------------
Back in the roaring twenties raccoon
coats were the rage,
especially among the college set in the ivy league
schools.
Just any raccoon coat wouldn't do.
It had to be a full length duster
almost reaching the floor
to really be in style.
John, a young man with a very
rich but miserly father
who was entering his freshman year at Harvard
was
surprised to learn when he moved into the dorm
that he just couldn't fit in
without a raccoon coat.
He pleaded with his father that he just had to have a
raccoon coat
or would never make it at school.
After several letters back and
forth his father agreed
to purchase a beautiful coat on one condition.
The
condition was that the coat must not be damaged
in any way during the next four
years.
If there was any damage to the coat at all after four years
the John
would be disinherited and have to go find a job on his own.
He would not be
allowed to join the father
in his very prosperous business.
John quickly agreed to the
conditions without thinking of the implications.
The father bought the best
raccoon coat money could buy,
then had several members of his staff count
the
number of hairs on the coat.
They found there were exactly 1,524,203 hairs.
A
second group of staff members recounted
and confirmed there were 1,524,203 hairs.
The coat was then carefully sealed in a package
and sent off to Harvard with a
note informing
the John of the hair count.
When John received the coat he was
overjoyed
that his ostracism by his fellow students was soon to end.
Then he
read the enclosed letter.
He showed the coat to all his friends
but was afraid
to wear it under any circumstances
for fear of damaging it in some manner.
After everyone had seen the coat he resealed it in its box
and placed it on the
shelf in his closet.
He often showed the coat to new friends
but could never
work up the courage
to wear it until his senior year.
Harvard was playing Yale for the
conference championship in football.
He bought nine tickets to the game,
three
seats behind his, the seats to either side,
and the three seats in front.
He
was going to be damned sure no one spilled drink
or mustard on his beloved
coat.
He didn't enjoy the game at all because of his concern for his coat.
Immediately after the game
he returned the coat to the closet
he returned the coat to the closet
where it had been
for three years after carefully
spending several hours recounting the hairs.
All 1,524,203 were intact but after
such a tedious job he made a mistake.
such a tedious job he made a mistake.
He
didn't reseal the bag in which he had been storing
the coat these many
years.
During the night a campus moth
crawled
under the door of the closet,
fluttered up onto the box and crawled
inside.
He had a feast but being a small moth one hair
was all his tiny stomach
could hold.
He emerged from the box, fluttered from the closet
and flew up onto
the light fixture to get warm and have a nap.
The next day the hapless student
decided to recheck the hair-count
It took him hours but when finished he knew
he was in trouble.
There were only 1,524,202 hairs.
He wailed in despair at the
top of his lungs.
All his fraternity brothers came running
into the room
expecting the worst.
John recounted the whole story about his fathers
conditions
and his impending fate.
In all the commotion the little moth
asleep
on the light fixture awakened.
He listened to the story in amazement.
As
the whole story unfolded the moth became terribly sad.
Have you ever seen a moth bawl?
Meanwhile!!!!!
---------------------------
in the UK
----------------------
in Canada
It’s safe
to say that at one point or another,
likely on a hot summer day while lounging
on the dock
with nothing to do but watch the boats go by,
someone you know has
gazed out onto the water and asked:
“Do you think we could swim across the
entire lake?”
But no
matter what swimming challenge you may have conquered at the cottage,
there’s
no way it beats what a Windsor man did earlier this week
—and that’s a good
thing.
After
being released from jail on Tuesday, 47-year-old John Morillo
apologized for
drinking eight beers and then swimming across the Detroit River,
purely to
prove to his buddies he could.
While
drinking and swimming may not be the best combination on any occasion,
Morillo’s performance led to a joint search mission
between the Canadian and
U.S. coast guards,
which included three boats and a helicopter.
His neighbour
called the police once she lost sight of Morillo in the water
—perhaps the one
smart move in the entire story.
That’s right, it wasn’t an impulse
decision.
Apparently, it all started when Morillo heard a story about his
grandmother,
who swam from Amherstburg to Boblo Island.
The beer may have,
however, played a role in Morillo finally
deciding to go ahead with the swim.
“I’ve
been telling people I’m going to swim across the river for years
and they’re
like ‘yah, yah, blah, blah, you can’t make it.’
So, I don’t know, last night I
just decided it was the time to go,”
Morillo told the Star.
Of
course, hindsight is always 20-20:
“As soon as I saw the helicopters going by
and the boats looking for me,
I was like, ‘Oh, this is really stupid.’”
According
to reports, the
coastguard picked him up on the Canadian side
of the river around 1 a.m.,
about
two hours after he first jumped in the water.
In the
end, he did make it.
“I’m a very strong swimmer and I had total confidence in
it,” Morillo said.
“But at the same time, it’s not worth it,” he added,
considering he’s been banned from all waterfront property in the city,
will
face a $5,000 to $25,000 fine for swimming in a shipping channel,
and he’s
upset his mom.
“She just
hung up on me,” Morillo told the Star.
“She said, ‘You’re just so
stupid.
-------------------
############
This weeks blast from the past
###################
Socks
--------------------------------
Women and Men
--------------------------
How to empty a swimming pool
-----------------------------
Seniors
--------------------------
Dogs in boots
--------------------------
Topical
--------------------------------------
Techno
-----------------------
I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov
(world chess champion)
and on the table was a checkered tablecloth.
It
took him 2 hours to pass me the salt.
This Weeks Signs
-----------------
enjoy!!
PHILS PHILOSOPHY
Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and
videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would
like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at
philco@iinet.net.au.
Lots of great stuff Phil. I stole the a frickin' lion one.
ReplyDeleteHave a terrific day. :)
Good fun. Thanks Phil.
ReplyDelete