Saturday, June 28, 2014





Image by FlamingText.com






603


Western Australia

Horizontal Waterfalls, Talbot Bay
Big tides make this spectacular to see


WIN Compilation May 2014



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Pictures that tell a story














The Beer Fridge - O Canada
Happy Birthday Canada   July 1




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Those Funny Animals




















































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A farmer wants to know how many sheep he has in his field,
 so he asks his border collie to count them.
The dog runs into the field,
 counts them and runs back to the farmer.
The farmer says, "How many?" 
The dog says, "40."
The farmer is surprised and says,
"How can there be 40 - I only bought 38!"
The dog says
 "I rounded them up."




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This man tried to test the chimps intelligence,
 however the chimps tested the man's humanity!


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More Animal Cuteness









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some culture for you


Hungarian Dance
Musician David Garrett plays Csárdás (Hungarian Dance),
 composed by Vittorio Monti. 
This song is also known as “Gypsy Dance




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Michael Jackson on beer bottles













David Garrick, the eighteenth-century English actor
 who made his reputation as Richard HI,
 won even greater renown as Hamlet.
 Shortly before his first performance in that role, 
Garrick fell and sustained a fractured tibia.
 He played the part with a cast on his leg, and won raves.
 While some gossips hinted that the cast was merely
 a device to permit his continuing the limp 
that had served him so well as Richard, 
theatergoers by and large accepted the performance,
 limp and all.

Garrick went on to play Hamlet on many other occasions, 
and of course did not limp in the part once his leg had healed.
 Other lesser actors, however,
 borrowed not only his interpretation of the role 
but the limp that had gone with it.
Although there is nothing in the play 
to suggest that the melancholy Dane ought to limp
, several generations of English actors hobbled in the part,
 and, while the theatrical world today has forgotten
 this curious bit of business,
 it survives in that perennial opening night wish:
 "Break a leg!"


It endures, too, in that show biz bromide: 
"You can't make a Hamlet without breaking legs."









A pair of magpies built their nest in a farmer's attic. 
The farmer didn't know it,
 but magpies are notorious thieves,
 and this pair were champion crooks.

At first the farmer didn't mind, 
but they stole every bright and shiny object 
they could find and put it in their nest. 
The farmer began to get annoyed.

One Sunday, the farmer was having a party
 in the dooryard to celebrate his 25th wedding anniversary. 
The table was set with the family's best china and silverware.
 One of the magpies swooped down,
 grabbed a silver spoon, and flew off with it,
 leaving the farmer and his family swearing 
and grumbling.

That night the farmer crawled into the attic
 to search the magpies' nest for the spoon. 
The stench from dead mice and birds the magpies
 had collected for food was overwhelming. 

The magpies awoke, 
screeched, and attacked the farmer with beaks and claws,
 leaving bleeding cuts and welts all over his arms. 


That nest had become a huge bird den to him!






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Formula 1 Pit Stops 1950 & Today



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Suarez Bit My Finger - Suarez Bit Me
















England is out of the World Cup




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Behind the Scenes








 Carrie Fisher and Peter Mayhew 
show that Princess Leia and Chewbacca are actually BFFs.



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Flying The Corinth Canal

Hungarian pilot Peter Besenyei gets an amazing opportunity
 to do some flying in the Corinth Canal in Greece
 and he takes full advantage of it.




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Posters












A non-Jewish fellow named Brett walked into a Jewish bakery
 and smelled the fine smell of challah baking
 and couldn’t resist and had to have one. 
He brought it up to the cash register.

“Ninety five dollars,” said the attendant.

“Ninety five dollars!”
 Brett replied, flabbergasted.
 “How can that be?”

“Five dollars goes for the challah 
and ninety dollars goes to support Israel,” 
the attendant replied.

Not wanting to look like he didn’t support Israel 
and desperate to try the challah, 
Brett agreed.

The next week Brett was passing the bakery again
 and couldn’t help himself and came in. 
He saw a bobka that looked particularly appealing 
and the challah had been so good,
 he took it up to the cash register.

“Two hundred and twenty five dollars,” 
said the attendant.

“Two hundred and twenty five dollars?!” Brett replied.
 “You must be joking!”

“Five dollars for the bobka
 and two hundred and twenty goes to Israel.”

“But I just want the bobka,” Brett replied.
 “If I want to give money to Israel,
 that should be my choice.”

“If you don’t want to support Israel,
 we don’t want your business,
” replied the attendant.

Brett was in a jam,
 he of course did support Israel,
 and he really wanted that bobka.
 So he paid the money.
 And it was worth it.

The next week Brett was walking by the bakery again,
 and while he should have known better
 he walked in and this time his eyes locked
 in on the most delicious looking rugelach he had ever seen
. He ordered a dozen 
and went to the cash register.

“Four hundred and fifty dollars,”
 said the attendant.

“What?”

“Five dollars for the rugelach
 and four hundred and forty five dollars for Israel,”
 replied the attendant. 

“Listen to what you are saying!” said Brett.
 “It doesn’t make any sense.
 How do you even stay in business?” 

“That’s the way we do things.
 If you don’t like it, you can leave,”
 said the attendant. 

“I want to talk to the manager. 
This is crazy,” said Brett. 

“Have it your way,” said the attendant.
 “Israel, this guy here wants to talk to you!”



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Sometimes the other verse's of a national Anthem are better than the first
it certainly is in Australia  [in my opinion]
Perhaps it is so in the USA  
after seeing this

MARINE STUNS A TEA PARTY WITH THE FOURTH VERSE
 OF THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER




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here is the Aussie National anthem 
with the second verse





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Odds and Ends












 Modern Romance




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Stairwell Magic
Stairwell magic occur as people discover the Escherian Stairwell
 at the Rochester Institute of Technology in New York. 
This is definitely an interesting set of stairs that appear
 to take the person climbing them in an infinite loop.




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The financial situation had been very bad for several months.
 Because he was out of work and destitute, 
a young man, out of desperation, decided to rob a bank.
 He chose a small satellite bank facility across
 the metropoli-tan area from where he was living.

Late one dark, moonless night he picked the lock on the rear door 
of the bank without difficulty. 
He stealthily crept through the bank to the place
 where he knew the safe stood.
 Then his troubles began
. While trying to pick the lock on the safe, 
he accidentally set off the burglar alarm,
 but his careful preparation paid off.

He had brought along a furniture dolly. 
He quickly loaded the safe onto it,
 rolled it out to his van,
 stashed it in and barreled out of there before the police arrived.

Not knowing where else to go, he drove to a friend's house. 
He knocked on the door. 
“You have to help me!” the man said. 
“I just robbed a bank and I have this safe
 but I don't want to keep it at my place
. Can I store it here for a few days?
 I'll give you a share of the loot.”

“Sure, no problem,” the friend said.

“You won't tell anybody, will you?” the man asked.

“Not to worry,” the friend assured. 
“Your safe is secret with me!”


Truth Facts


















the Body Guard




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Women







This is so funny 


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and this as well

Older Ladies by Donnalou Stevens







For its 20th anniversary, Screen Junkies 
revisits Forest Gump with an Honest Trailer


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This weeks signs
















A couple of Aussie signs







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DOLE - Harvesting Bananas
thanks Kitty L



Phils Philosophy






Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.


1 comment:

  1. Loved the win compilation. I cringe at all the fail compilations. Okay some of these were frightening, but they turned out okay.

    Pictures that tell a story. Wow on many of them.

    Happy Birthday Canada was awesome.

    Guess the real one... Puppy #7

    Love the chimps video. Sharing is a good thing.

    Loved the animal cuteness.

    Michael Jackson on beer bottles. Wow.

    Bird den. Groan.

    Formula 1 pit stops. Wow, that was amazing. Amazing.

    Love how they modified Suarez Bit my Finger.

    That contrast of the stadium and the poor in Brazil was stark.

    England is out of the world cup. Domestic Violence is up 38% when they lose. Yikes. Explains that look.

    Flying that canal I'd pass on. Yikes that was frightening, but he did a fantastic job of it.

    Star Spangled Banner. Wow. Double WOW! Both of them.

    Stairwell magic. How did they do that.

    The bodyguard. Bwahahahahahahahaha. Loved that.

    Girls don't poop. Bwahahahahahaha.

    Older Ladies. Well yeah.

    The honest trailer. That was weird and then some.

    The banana video was cool. I didn't know any of this.

    Another fine couple of hours.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend Phil. :)

    ReplyDelete