Western Australia

Get right off the beaten track with an adventure

 to Quobba and Gnarloo; that sits at the southern tip

 of our beautiful World Heritage listed Ningaloo Reef. 

Some of the Worlds Best Beaches

A380 landing

Just thought you might enjoy seeing this humongous A380 

as it makes its first landing at San Francisco airport.

This is an incredible video of a German Airbus

 landing at San Francisco

The approach shows wonderful and memorable views

 of the Golden Gate Bridge, the Presidio, the Bay Bridge ,

 and the approach to San Francisco

You will enjoy this aviation video.

~ 800 PLUS PASSENGERS

--

Those Funny Animals

Dances with deer

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The poet looked into his rearview mirror and cursed.

 A police cruiser, lights flashing in the red and blue of apprehension

 (for both the officers and the culprit)

 was bearing down on him like a bat out of a light bulb factory.

He slowed to thirty, put on his signal light to indicate that he was caught

 and pulled off onto the sandy shoulder of the highway.

 He couldn't help noticing their self-satisfied smirks 

as they came up behind him.

The poet lowered his window as a beefy-looking predator

 in blue strolled up to him.

 ''What's the problem officer?"

''Can I see your license and registration please?"

He fished them out of his wallet and handed them over.

 ''Have I done something wrong?"

''That baby.

 You're not allowed to drive a motor vehicle with a baby in your lap. 

Children have to be in proper restraint devices.''

He patted his eight-month-old daughter on the head.

 ''You're making a mistake, officer. 

You see, right there on my license, it says I'm a poet

.'' He pointed to the relevant entry.

 "See? I also have the required sticker displayed in the back window.

 Didn't you notice it?''

The officer walked around to the back of the car to check.

 Sure enough, it was there but a pillow had partially covered it.

 That was why he missed it. 

However, it was there and he apologized for his mistake.

Ever gracious, the poet apologized as well. 

''I guess it was just as much my fault; 

I should make sure my 'BABY ON BARD'

 sticker is plainly visible at all times."

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Life Hacks to improve your day

Magician Darcy Oake 

does the ultimate disappearing act 

 Britain's Got Talent 2014

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      The golfing world is celebrating a new invention 

that promises to revolutionize the sport. 

 The new device that is receiving so much attention 

is called the 'bee nut.' 

      It is a fastening attachment that allows players 

to adjust the heads on their clubs to any angle, 

saving the need to carry a bagful of clubs. 

 Thus, for example, a player can use the same club 

to putt or get out of the sand trap.

  Genius!  

     Golf clubs with this modification are selling quickly, 

and players partaking golfing picnics, 

so they can try their new...

'Bee-nut Putter Sand Wedge.'

Punny Business

One of the great traditions of American economics

 is the evolution of labor-management negotiations. 

Unfortunately, not always do contract negotiations go smoothly,

 and whereas we often think about the irreconcilable differences

 between blueand white-collar personnel,

 let us not forget that anybody can go on strike.

 Even a great symphony orchestra is not immune,

 and a recent event in New York 

brought this thought to an inevitable conclusion.

Musicians have often gone on strike,

 but symphony conductors have never, 

to my understanding, refused to perform. 

They are temperamental, to be sure,

 and they must have standards of perfection in order

 to get their orchestras to play to the best of their abilities. 

However, with economic conditions as they are,

 the City of New York was not able to pay its symphony conductor

 the salary he felt he was worth. 

Eventually, the orchestra's board of directors fired him 

and attempted to replace him.

 However, no other professional and competent conductors

 would accept the position.

 In the spirit of solidarity;

 they refused to become scab conductors. 

However, the board did manage to locate

 a promising conducting student from a local music school.

 The young conductor was not very good;

 in fact, he was probably tone deaf 

and couldn't tell the differences among the instrument be heard.

During the first rehearsal, 

he looked up from his score

 and suggested the reed instruments play louder. 

The concertmaster said the reeds had been playing loudly enough;

 it was the trumpets and trombones that needed more volume. 

The conductor demurred,

 insisting that it was the reeds. 

Finally the concertmaster

 and the entire orchestra walked out in disgust,

 the concertmaster exclaiming that the conductor

 didn't know his brass from his oboe

---------------------------------

Ryland

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Bad Day!!!!!

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A Tribute to Discomfort: Cory Richards

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Posters

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Enjoy!!!

Men

On their 40th wedding anniversary 

and during the banquet celebrating it,

 Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account 

of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from 

all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Tom responds,

 "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. 

It teaches you loyalty, forbearance,

 meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness 

-- and a great many other qualities 

you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."

---------------

How Men Talk to their Wives on the Phone

------------------------

Where's an engineer when you need one???

 A reader in South Africa has sent us photographs of a truly 

radical piece of ladder application engineering. 

Possibly one of the craziest Death Wish entries we have seen in 

some time. The men are painting the church clock tower in the 

northern town of Mussina, (previously Messina) South Africa 

on the border with Zimbabwe.

The first glimpse looks bad enough, the man is clearly on a long 

ladder at some height and trying to rub down and paint.

You might think that this is simply man on a long ladder doing 

a job that requires two hands?

The ladder is though longer than you might think, the one the 

man is on is not resting on the ground..

....However the base of the ladder is not on the ground, it is 

supported by this cantilever and human counterweight

It is in fact balanced on a cantilever arm created out of planks 

with a human counterweight sitting on them while footing 

the ladder with a rope. If you thought that was crazy it doesnt 

end there, back up a little and you see that it goes on

..Although not quite, the first ladder is even longer! 

definite Death Wish

What ingenuity! The chances of this going wrong are about 

as high as they go. In fact we wonder which route up the 

ladder our man took? Did he climb the outward facing 

second stage? or did he clamber over the 

human counterweight? 

------------------

Archie Bunker

You Raise me up

Post by András Horváth.

Weird Facts

---------------------

Trip down Memory lane

with the Drifters

----

---------------

Odds and Ends

----------------------------

Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor.

 It lands butter-side-up.

 He looks at what he has done in astonishment,

 for he knows it's a law of nature that buttered toas

t always falls butter-down.

He rushes round to the presbytery to fetch the priest. 

He tells the priest that he thinks a miracle

 has happened round at his flat.

 He won't say what it is but wants Fr. Flannagan

 to see it with his own eyes.

He brings the priest into the kitchen

 and asks him what he sees on the floor.

"Well," says the priest,

 "it's pretty obvious what we have here.

 Someone dropped some buttered toast, 

and then for some reason flipped it over 

so that the butter was on top."

"No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that."

"Well," Fr. Flannagan says,

 "it's certainly a natural law of the universe

 that dropped toast never falls butter side up.

 But it's not for me to say it's a miracle.

 I'll report the matter to the bishop, 

and have him send people round,

 to interview you, take photos, etc."

An investigation of some rigor is conducted,

 not only by priests of the archdiocese

, but also by scientists sent from the Archbishop in Dublin.

The final ruling is negative, however.

 It read:

 "It was certainly an extraordinary event

 that occurred in Murphy's room,

 quite outside the normal run of the phenomena. 

Yet we have to be very cautious

 before ruling any happening miraculous, 

ruling out all possible natural explanations.

 In this case we have declared no miracle.

 For it possibly resulted from Murphy's 

having buttered the toast on the wrong side.

---------------------

What’s In The Box

People couldn’t resist finding out what’s in the box

 that appeared overnight in Church Square, Cape Town

. It appears to be some sort of stainless steel art from

 and you can walk into for a closer look so that’s what they did

. A creative advert from Samsung Home Appliances.

 Thankfully for these curious people it was a hot day 

and it wasn’t a microwave oven that they were introducing

Women

What Your Fridge Says About You

--------------

In a Subway near you !!!

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First Day on the Job

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Embarrassing Moments You've Probably Had

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This weeks signs

Funny videos Funny video clips

[warning....contains some bad language]

-------------------------

Phils Philosophy

Best News Bloopers May 2014

Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.