Friday, June 22, 2007

39

Its Friday and the weekeend beckons

Raining quite heavily here in the west [Yeah] and more forecast

The Eagles play the Saints on Sunday

Need a pillow???






An Australian Aboriginal goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night
And finds himself a prostitute. He asks ,
"How much do you charge for da hour, sister?"
"$100," she replies.
He says "Okay, do you do Aboriginal style?"
She says "No!"
"I'll pay you $200 to do it Aboriginal style?" he said
She again says "No" since she doesn't know what Aboriginal style is.
So he then offers her $300.
Again she declines his offer
. So finally he says, "I'll give you $500 to go Aboriginal style With me!"
Finally, she agrees , thinking,
"Well I've been in the game for over 10 years now,
I've been there and I've done that:
had every kind of request from weirdos from every corner of the world,
How bad could Aboriginal Style be?''
So she goes ahead and has sex with him
- doing it in every kind of way and in every possible position.
Finally, after several intense hours, they finish.
Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says,
"That was fantastic. I've never enjoyed it so much,
but I was expecting something perverted and disgusting.
Where does the 'Aboriginal style' come in?"
The Aboriginal replies "Send da bill to da Gub'ment"



Seeing its Friday Here are a few beer funnies







From the family album [Istarted early]

There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.
It suddenly had a malfunction and went down.
A few weeks later,
PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane.
They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew.
They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.
They walked up to the chief of the tribe
and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.
The chief says, "Yeah".
When asked where the crew was the chief replied,
"We ate the crew and drank the Pepsi."
The rescue crew was shocked.
One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"
The chief replied, "We ate their legs and we drank the Pepsi."
Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"
The chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi".
After looking totally perplexed for a minute a third added,
"Did you...you know... eat their.... things"?
The chief says, "No."
"No?" asked the rescuers.
"NO", replied the chief,
"THINGS go better with COKE!"
-----------------


Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth die on the same day
and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day,
so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there's some
particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says,
"Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts
God ever created,
and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.
The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse,
shakes it up,gargles,spits into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The Angel says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in."
Dolly is outraged and asks,"What was that all about?
I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down.
She spits into a commode and she gets in!
Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," says the Angel,
"but even in Heaven,
a royal flushbeats a pair - no matter how big they are


Clancy Brothers The band played Waltzing Matilda
[An Australian classic]















1 comment:

  1. G'Day Phil,

    Some funny stuf here today. I especially like the cannibals/Pepsi and Dolly/Queen jokes!

    Thanks for the laughs.

    ReplyDelete