Monday, June 3, 2013



Image by FlamingText.com




549















#######################



All the way from Canada, 
this adorable 5-year-old is as cute as he is talented





####################

Rare Photographs










Only known authenticated photo of Billy the Kid, ca. 1879


thanks Liz Z



##############


The Louisiana State Police had received numerous reports 
of illegal cockfights being held in the area around Abbeville 
and had sent their famous Detective Boudreaux 
from Thibodeaux to investigate. 


Boudreaux promptly began his investigation
 and then reported to his Commander the next morning. 

"Dey is tree main groups involve in dis rooster Fightin", he began. 

"Good work! Who are they?" the Commander asked. 

Boudreaux replied confidently,
 "De Texas Aggies, de local Cajuns, and de Mafia from N'awlins". 

Puzzled, the Commander asked,
 "Now Boudreaux, how did you find all that out in one night?" 

"Well," he replied,
 "I went down and done seen dat rooster fight in person. 
 And I knowed immedjiately dat dem Aggies 
was involved when a Duck was entered in the fight." 

The Commander nodded,
 "I'll buy that. But what about the others?" 

Boudreaux nodded knowingly,
 "Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved when sum body bet on de duck!" 

"Ah, I see, I see....." sighed the Commander
 "And how did you figure the Mafia was involved?" 

"De duck won



thanks Kitty L



#####################







######################





Those Funny Animals












############



I don’t speak Yiddish but apparently
 “Bei Mir Bistu Shein” translates as “To Me You’re Beautiful”.
The song was originally written for a Yiddish musical in the 1930′s
 then later translated into English lyrics and a more swing like rhythm.







##########

The New 7 Wonders Of The World












Here’s a great little science quiz. 
 Not to brag, but I got 80%  
Compare how you do…
See what you know in science . . . it’s a quickie.

Thirteen multiple choice, general science questions prepared by Pew Research.

Only you will know how well you’ve done.

Good luck.








#############


.

A man is heading into Best Buy
 when he sees a dwarf little person
 walking out carrying a flat screen television.
 He says to him, 
"Are you going to be okay carrying that TV by yourself?"

And the dwarf little person says,
 "Up yours! It's an iPad!"

###########





Why be smart and stressed
Take a pill




POSTERS









############


Who's your favourite




################




In an ancient kingdom named Kale, 
a king was very proud of his agricultural pursuits.
 He was particularly proud of his huge expanse of vegetables and herbs,
 which he grew to feed his people and provide income for his kingdom. 

Equally proud of this field of vegetables and herbs
 was the king's young son.
 He often went out to the fields and helped with the planting and harvesting. 
So taken with these vast fields of herbs was the young man, 
that he often simply went out and stared at the crops
 of sage, rosemary, parsley, dill, pesto, and thyme.

Obviously, the young heir to the throne knew that all he surveyed would one day be his, 
and he made a habit of standing in awe at the vast expanses of herbs and spice plants. 

One day, the queen was looking for her young son,
 and she asked the king where their son was. 

The king, himself just having returned from the fields
, was able to answer quickly: 
"I have left my food prince in the stand of thyme."




Some time ago a junior clerk in the City Council office 
created a major problem. 
He double booked the city Convention Centre.
Booking both a computer trade show  and  
a Shakespeare appreciation society performance for the same day.
The Mayor had to be involved in settling the dispute.
After hearing talks from both parties,
 the Mayor and the town’s entertainment committee had discussions 
which went long into the night.
Eventually a decision was reached.
The Council decided to let the Shakespeare appreciation society
 use the Convention Centre for their performance.
It just goes to show that actors speak louder than nerds!






###############



The Italian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine."


The Frenchman says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have cognac."



The Russian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have vodka."



The German says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer."



The Mexican says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have tequila."



The Jew says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."




##############



for the Golf Nuts





##############



The English Language







Q: Why do men’s clothes have buttons on the right while women’s clothes have buttons on the left?

A: When buttons were invented,
 they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. 
Since most people are right-handed
 it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left.
 Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, 
dressmakers put the buttons on the maid’s right!
And that’s where women’s buttons have remained since.


Q: Why do ships and aircraft use “mayday” as their call for help?
A: This comes from the French word m’aidez- meaning “help me” 
– and is pronounced, approximately, “mayday.”


Q: Why are zero scores in tennis called “love”?
A: In France, where tennis became popular,
 round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg 
and was called ” l’oeuf, ” which is French for “egg.”
 When tennis was introduced in the US, Americans (mis)pronounced it ‘love.’


Q. Why do X’s at the end of a letter signify kisses?
A: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write,
 documents were often signed using an X.
 Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. 
The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.


Q: Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called ” passing the buck ” ?
A: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, 
called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. 
If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing,
 he would ‘pass the buck’ to the next player.


Q: Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?
A: It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy
 by offering him a poisoned drink.
 To prove to a guest that a drink was safe
, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount 
of his drink into the glass of the host. 
Both men would drink it simultaneously.
 When a guest trusted his host, 
he would only touch or clink the host’s glass with his own.



Q: Why is someone who is feeling great “on cloud nine”?

A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, 
with nine being the highest cloud. 
If someone is said to be on cloud nine,
 that person is floating well above worldly cares.


Q: In golf, where did the term “Caddie” come from?
A. When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl, 
Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scots game ” golf. ”
 So he had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. 
To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played,
 Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. 
Mary liked this lot and when returned to Scotland 
(not a very good idea in the long run), 
she took the practice with her. 
In French, the word cadet is pronounced ” ca-day “-
 and the Scots changed it into ” caddie. “

.

Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?

A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe 
were made of dense orange clay called ” pygg. ”
 When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, 
the jars became known as ” pygg banks. 
” When an English potter misunderstood the word,
 he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on.
So there! Now you know!



############









################


Chocolate Fun





###############

Modern World






THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK

Harvey's grandfather clock suddenly stopped working one day,
 so he loaded it into his van and took it to a clock repair shop.
 In the shop was a little old man who insisted he was Swiss
 but had a heavy German accent. 

He asked Harvey, “Vat sims to be ze problem?” 

Harvey said, “I'm not sure, but it doesn't go ‘tick-tock, tick-tock’ any-more. 
Now it just goes ‘tick...tick...tick.’ ” 

The old man said, “Mmm-hmm!”
 and stepped behind the counter where he rummaged around a bit.
He emerged with a huge flashlight
 and walked over to the grandfather clock. 

He turned the flashlight on,
and shined it directly into the clock’s face. 
Then he said in a menacing voice,
 “Ve haf vays of making you tock!”


##############



Flags have been used since before we began recording history,
 to symbolize movements, peoples and even individuals.
 Every country in the world has a flag –
 some weird, some beautiful and some incredibly boring
 (Libya’s flag for instance – plain green and nothing else).
 This list looks at ten flags,
 or types of flags, that are unique in one or another aspect from other flags.














#################

Banned Commercial **WARNING: Not for the sensitive





##############




This weeks Signs













##############


 PHILS PHILOSOPHY




Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.




1 comment:

  1. Good ones today Phil. I ripped off a couple of cat ones that will work for Feline Friday.

    Have a fabulous day. :)

    ReplyDelete