Saturday, October 31, 2009


Its hard to be Humble


The Message
"One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on.

He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.
So he called on a female angel and sent her to Earth for a time.
When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.
Well, he thought for a moment and said maybe I had better send down a male angel;
to get both points of view.
So God called a male angel and sent him to Earth for a time.
When the male angel returned he went to God and told him yes,
the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good.
God said this was not good.
He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good and encourage them,
a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what that E-mail said?

Oh! You didn't get one either?"

stolen from.......Slavenka and Obi

American Politics and Halloween


A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV
when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner, love?
Chicken, beef or lamb?"
He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
"Bugger you," she said. "You're having soup.
I was talking to the cat."
Canadian Beer

Reaction Test
See how you go
I performed very poorly
Good luck!

thanks Liz Z
Billie Jo Spears
From my wife
Sometimes, I think I love my dog more than I love my husband.
Then again, he slobbers all the time,
he's always hungry,
and he won't stop bothering me even if I swat him with a newspaper.
The dog doesn't.
Read all the Numbers....
Slowly and in Order!!
Be Careful not to MISS ANY
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30
Scroll down ....................


It so easy to amuse old people.


Clever Ads

thanks Wayne W


I know not many interesting things happen in Saskatchewan,
but I think this is beautiful.
Hope you like these pictures also.

Avro Lancaster Bomber
Here's some shots from the Saskatoon control tower as they gave a couple of passes,
then went to Winnipeg.
There's only two of them still flying in the world
and one of them flew over Saskatoon.
The Avro Lancaster, one of the most famous bombers of World War 2
Thousands of Canadian aircrew served with the RCAF and the Lancaster Squadrons.
Over 4 hundred Lancaster MK X's were built in Canada
and shipped overseas for flying duty.
And throughout the entire world, only two still fly today,
one in England and one in Canada.
The bomber is one hundred and two feet long and just under 70 feet wide.
It can reach top speeds of 2 hundred and 87 miles an hour
and has four Rolls Royce Merlin Engines.
The fly past is a tribute pass to veterans and a farewell salute to the Cameco Canada Remembers Airshow.

thanks Liz Z


Kiwi Army Mascot

Halloween Pun
Got this from Grouchy Old Cripple
click on "this"
A veterinarian was barred from performing surgery because ofhis poor record.
However, the veterinarian ignored the ruling and continued to do surgery.
On a tip the police busted him just as he was to operate on a sick bird.
However, the case was thrown out of court.
Why did that happen, y’all ask?
Because . . .
. . . it was an ill eagle surgeon seizure.

stolen from.......Archies Archive


Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week
and found the boss waiting for him.
"What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically.
"You better have a good excuse for a change."
Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss.
The wife decided to drive me to the station.
She got ready in ten minutes,
but then the drawbridge got stuck.
Rather than let you down, I swam across the river --
look, my suit's still damp --
ran out to the airport,
got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter,
landed ontop of Radio City Music Hall,
and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."
"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed.
"No woman can get ready in ten minutes."


some Dilbert’s one liners…
1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you’re in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. J
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have troubleputting on your pants.
12. It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer… what I can’t stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed papertray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy whoinvented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it. J
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O’clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can’t convince them, confuse them. J J
21. It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. – Cunino’s Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker. J
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success…. Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again,neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive,fattening
or in love with someone else


All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Bobby Vinton [2002]


Land ho!
A panicked passenger in the Titanic:
Passenger: Captain, How far is the way to the nearest land?
Captain: Two and a half Miles.
Passenger: In which direction?
Captain: Towards bottom!


To morrow
thanks Liz Z

During a difficult time, I saw a billboard sign that said:
NEED HELP, CALL JESUS 1-800-005-3787

Out of curiosity, I did.
A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.

O Canada

695...tree.... tree...... tree......tree

It's time to reflect on what a truly Canadian winter is all about
It's winter in Canada
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At thirty-five below.
Oh, how I love Canada
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Canada
I'm frozen to the friggin' ground!

thanks Don H


Just cause its so hard for us to get together for a coffee....
have one on me....
This is cute.
I don't know how they figure all this stuff out.
to start click

thanks Liz Z


What do you call a collection of Panda Bears??

Hope thats not a Bud Light!!


Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings


"A man has to leave the country on business
and he entrusts with his best friend the job of keeping an eye on his wife.
He instructed if anything out of the ordinary should occur,
he was to be notified immediately.
After about a week of no news the businessman received a telegram:
'The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn't show up yesterday...'"

stolen from......Slavenka and Obi



Somehow Pregnant
A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor.
“Young lady,” said the doctor, “you’re pregnant.”
“But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists
and in our colony we practice sex only with our eyes.”
“Well my dear,” said the doctor,
“someone in that colony is cockeyed.”


Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends,
"My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps,
"My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says,
"My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says,
"My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence,
the four men give her a subtle,
She proudly replies,
"I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" waist and 34" hips.
When she walks into a room, people say,
"Oh My God."

See you later Alligator


The old sea captain was dining in a Portsmouth restaurant.
"Waiter, what's this?" he asked, after being presented with a bowl of thin soup
."It's consomme, sir," replied the waiter.
"Shiver me timbers," said the sea- dog.
"For forty years I've been sailing on consomme, and never knew it


stolen from.... amyoops


All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at