Thursday, August 22, 2013




Image by FlamingText.com




561

this is the last Phils Phun for a couple of weeks
Taking a short break


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Great photography
This is quite a piece----

watch to the very end........

Provokingly stunning!

Make sure your sound is on
View in Full Screen

Stick with it after slide show is over...



thanks Jayne M





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Simple photo's that tell a bigger story











The Grumpy King





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Phacts






Once upon a time, a Sultan was blessed with the birth of a son
 after years of hoping. 
The boy immediately became the apple of his father’s eye. 
Just before his son’s sixth birthday, 
the Sultan said to him,
“Son, I love you very much.Your birthday is coming soon. 
What would you like?” 
His son replied, “Daddy, I would like to have my own airplane.”
 His father bought him American Airlines. 
Just before his son’s seventh birthday, 
the Sultan said, “Son, you are my pride and joy.
 Ask what you want for your birthday
 Whatever it is, it’s yours.”
 His son replied, “Daddy, I would like a boat.”
 His father bought him the Princess Cruise Line.
 Just before his son’s eighth birthday, the Sultan said,
 “Son, you bring so much happiness into my life.
 Anything you want, I shall get for you.” 
His son replied, “Daddy, I would like to be able to watch cartoons.”
 His father bought him Disney Studios. 
Just before his son’s ninth birthday, the Sultan said,
 “Son, you are my life. Your birthday is coming soon. 
Ask what you wish. I will get for you.”
 His son, who had grown to love Disney, replied,
“Daddy, I would like a Mickey Mouse outfit.”
 His father bought him the Australian Liberal Party!




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An old doctor and his nurse were on the train,
 going to a medical conference.  

Opposite them was a man furiously scratching his elbow.
“I wonder what’s the matter with him?”

 asked the nurse.
“He’s a patient of mine and, in confidence, 

I can tell you that he suffers
badly from hemorrhoids,”

 replied the doctor.
“Well, why he’s scratching his elbow?”

 asked the puzzled nurse.
“Oh, he’s a Politician, 
and he doesn’t know his ass from his elbow.”





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Those Funny Animals









The Hippo   The Croc  and The Pig






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at the Duplex











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Rondo In The Turkish Style
The all women Russian music group Soprano 10 
(СОПРАНО 10) perform Mozart’s “Rondo In The Turkish Style” 
in this entertaining music video. 
This is a lively and fun version 
of Mozart’s classic Piano Sonata No. 11.







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Inspiring Pictures








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All you need is love

















A renown scientist specializing in the geology 
and archaeology of ancient Africa was mounting 
an expedition to central Africa in order 
to study the interesting rock formations upon
 which it had been theorized that 
ancient civilizations had built their houses.
 He was accompanied by several students
 who were eager to get their first experience 
in the field as well as impress their professor.

The famous professor of geology and his assistants 
were investigating some fascinating rock formations that were,
 as far as they could determine, unknown to science. 
These particular rocks appeared to exhibit unusual characteristics.
 For example, when one of the student assistants came up 
to them and began to scientifically test the rocks' properties,
 she was amazed to discover that they appeared to contain remnants of life.
 Deeply imbedded in the rocks were trace remains
 of carbon and other elements that suggested that these
 rocks themselves were actually alive;
 their texture was soft, pliable, almost breathing.

The young assistant approached the professor 
with her discovery and could think of nothing else to say 
except to query the professor with a question:
 "Doctor, living stone, I presume?"








It seems like in 1995 or so the pollution in the atmosphere 
of London has started to kill off all the rooks.
 And the city government is very concerned 
because the rooks roosting on the cornices 
and the odd little crannies of the public buildings
 are a big attraction.
 The Yanks with their Kodaks, if you get it
. So they say, "What are we going to do?"

They get a lot of brochures from places with climates
 similiar to London's so they can raise the rooks
 until the pollution problem is finally licked.
 One place with a similar climate, but low pollution count,
 turns out to be Bangor, Maine.
 So they put an ad in the paper soliciting bird fancier
 and talk to a bunch of guys in the trade.

Finally, they engage this one guy 
at the rate of $50,000 a year to raise rooks.
 They send an ornithologist over on the Concorde 
with two cases of rook eggs packed in these shatterproof cases.
 They keep the shipping compartment constantly heated and all that stuff.

So this guy has a new business-North American Rook Farms, Inc. 
He goes to work right off incubating new rooks
 so London will not become a rookiess city.

The only thing is, the London City Council is really impatient,
 and every day they send him a telegram that says: 
"Bred Any Good Rooks Lately?"








POSTERS



This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for five years.
 One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines,
 and the bag boy is really excited
 and asks the manager if he can work the juice machines. 
The manager says no. 
The bagger says, "But I've been working here for five years.
 Why can't I run the juice machines?" 
The manager answers,
 "I'm sorry, son, but baggers can't be juicers."











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Blast from the Past
"Jay and the Americans"



Jay Black was 74 this year



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Stupidity














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Meanwhile.......




In Indonesia

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If I didn’t know any better I’d think there
 was a shortage of tools in Canada as these Canadians
 go above and beyond to share a screwdriver
 to help out a fellow DIY type. 
A well done advert from RONA to show its support
 for the Canadian Olympic Team
 and recognize the efforts of the athletes participating
 in the London Games



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Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher,
 posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:
 “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars.
 One-fifth is to go to his wife,
one-fifth is to go to his son, 
one-sixth to his butler, 
and the rest to charity.
 Now, what does each get?”
 After a very long silence in the classroom,
 Little Morris raised his hand.
 The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer. 
With complete sincerity in his voice,
 Little Morris answered, 
“A lawyer!”



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Random Truths











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WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!








A group of women were at a seminar 
on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.
The women were asked, 
"How many of you love your husband?"
  All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked,
 "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
 Some women answered today, some yesterday, some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones
 and text their husband: 
"I love you, sweetheart."
 The women were then told to exchange phones 
and to read aloud the text message responses. 
 Here are some of the replies:
 1.   Who is this?
 2.   Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
 3.   I love you too.
 4.   What now?  Did you crash the car again?
 5.   I don't understand what you mean?
 6.   What did you do now?
 7.   ?!?
 8.   Don't beat around the bush, just tell me how much you need?
 9.   Am I dreaming?
 10.  If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
 11.  I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
 12.  Your mother is coming to stay, isn't she?
Thanks Shelagh N




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MEN!!!!









A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi' us"


A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet, he decides to
have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No, yer daft bugger, I want it chewin' a bone!"


thanks Gordon H



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This weeks Signs










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enjoy!!!!!!






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English Stiff Upper Lip

   On a train from London to Manchester , an Australian was berating the
   Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.

   "You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You
   think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us.

   Look at   me...  I'm ME! I have Italian blood, Greek blood, a little
Irish
   blood, and some Aborigine blood.  What do you say to that ?"

   The Englishman replied, "Awfully sporting of your mother, old chap!"






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PHILS PHILOSOPHY


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