I got my name in lights with notcelebrity.co.uk
Well , the weekend is over and back to work
The West Coast Eagles lost their first game of the season
yesterday and top spot on the League Ladder
Beaten by Geelong in Melbourne by 6 goals
Beer Commercial Banned in the USA
A Mormon was seated next to an Australian
on a flight from London, England,
to Melbourne, Australia.
After the plane was airborne,
drink orders were taken.
The Aussie asked for a rum and Coke,
which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the
Mormon if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust,
"I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores
than let liquor touch my lips."
The Aussie then handed his drink back
to the attendant and said,
"Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."
A man was chosen for jury duty who very
much wanted to be dismissed from serving.
He tried every excuse he could think of
but none of them worked.
On the day of the trial he decided
to give it one more shot.
As the trial was about to begin he asked
if he could approach the bench.
"Your Honor," he said,
" I must be excused from this trial because
I am prejudiced against the defendant.
I took one look at the man in the blue suit
with those beady eyes and that
dishonest face and I said
'He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty'
So your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!"
With a tired annoyance the judge replied,
"Get back in the jury box.
That man is his lawyer."
Another Paris Hilton Cartoon
Say no more
A young man walks through New York Chinatown
He asked the old man,
Old Man - That's the name of the owner.
Young Man - Who's the owner?
Old Man - I am.
Young Man - How did you get a name like Hans Olaffsen?
Old Man - Many years ago when I came
Lady ask me, What is your name?
Paddy says, “Me feet are freez’n mate,
“No bother,” he says, and he runs upstairs
“Hello dere girls, your Da’ sent me up here to shag ya both.”
“Fook off you liar!” they both chime.
“I’ll prove it,” Murphy says.
“Of course, what’s the use of fookin’ one?”