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G'day All

Its the middle of the week and not much excitement

The newspapers and media in general is constantly full of election propaganda

The election is not due until at least November and already

its driving me around the twist

On a lighter note [caught where it hurts most]

Subject: Stanley and the President
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little
PR.

After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand
and George asks him his name.
Stanley," responds the little boy.

And what is your question, Stanley?"

"I have 4 questions:

First, why did the US invade Iraq without the
support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more
votes?

Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage
when half of all Americans don't have
health insurance? "

Just then, the bell rings for recess.

George Bush informs the kiddies
that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says,

"OK, where were we?

Oh, that's right,
question time.

Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand.

George points him out and asks him his name

"Little Johnnie" he responds.

And what is your question, Little Johnnie?


"Actually Sir, I have 6 questions:

First, why did the US invade Iraq
without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al
Gore got more votes?

Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage

when half of all Ameicans don't have health insurance?
Fifth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
And sixth, what the hell happened to Stanley?"

Only in America

a couple of animal funnies

For all of you who are having a bad day,

here is something to cheer you up...it's a crack up!

Next time you have a bad day at work...

Think of this guy.

Rob is acommercial saturation Diver for Global Divers in Western Australia.

He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to a radio station in Perth,

who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office.

I know you've been feeling down lately at work,

so I thought I would share my dilemma with you

to make you realise it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me,

I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.

I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.

This time of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this:

We have a diesel powered industrial 'water heater'.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks water out of the sea.

It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a hose,

which is taped to the side of the suit.

I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working,

is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit.

This floods my whole suit with warm water.

It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden,

my arse started to itch.

So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my arse started to burn.

I pulled the hose out from my back,

but the damage was already done.

In agony I realised what had happened.

The machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back,

the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.

However, the crack of my arse was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch,

Iwas actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my arse.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma

over the communicator.

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,

along with five other divers,

were all in fits of hysterical laughter.

I was then instructed to make three

agonising in-water compression stops

totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach

the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface,

I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the Medic,

with tears of laughter running down his face,

handed me a tube of cream and

told me to rub it on my arse as soon

as I got into the chamber.

Yes the cream put the fire out,

but I couldn't poo for two days because my arse was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work,

think about how much worse it would be

if you had a jellyfish shoved up your bum.

Now repeat to yourself "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".

Finally its done

Something I have been waiting for has finally happened

Igot the bathroom remodelled

This gives a whole new meaning to 'Going Online'

Bored on weekends?

Why not join a Peru bikers club

Good grief What next!!!!!

Judith Durham and the Seekers

"I am Australian" [love it]

Adam and Eve in Saudi Arabia