Saturday, March 1, 2008

It's the Labor day long weekend here in the West
Good weekend for those fortunate enough to get the
three day break as the weather is in the low 30's

Funny Animals

A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money.
Once he was given the money,
he turned to a customer and asked,
"Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man,
"Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied,
"No sir, I didn't, but my wife did.
thanks Gordon Hamilton

Todays Cartoons .....Fairy tales

How to be a "KID" again
1. Do a cartwheel.
2. Sing into your hairbrush.
3. Walk barefoot in wet grass.
4. Play a song you like really loud, over and over.
5. Dot all your “i”’s with smiley faces.
6. Read the funnies. Throw the rest of the paper away.
7. Dunk your cookies
.8. Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along.
9. Step carefully over sidewalk cracks.
10. Change into some play clothes.
11. Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich.
12. Eat ice cream for breakfast.
13. Kiss a frog, just in case.
14. Blow the wrapper off a straw.
15. Have someone read you a story.
16. Find some pretty stones and save them.
17. Wear your favorite shirt with you favorite pants even if they don’t match.
18. Take a running jump over a big puddle.
19. Get someone to buy you something you really don’t need.
20. Hide your vegetables under your napkin.
21. Stay up past your bedtime.
22. Eat dessert first
.23. Fuss a little, and then take a nap.
24. Wear red gym shoes.
25. Put way too much sugar on your cereal.
26. Make cool screeching noises every time you turn a corner.
27. Giggle a lot for no reason.
28. Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today

Spring Snowmen

If I win office!!

A Scotsman walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts.
He says to her,
“Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?
“Are you nuts?!!!” she replies, and keeps walking away.
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.
“Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?” he asks again.
“Listen you; I’m not that kind of woman! Got it?”
So the Scotsman runs around the next block and faces her again ;
“Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?”
She thinks about it for a while and says,
“Hmmm, $10,000 dollars; Ok, just once, but not here.
Let’s go to that dark alley over there .”
So they go into the alley,
where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.
As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them,
fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them,
but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks,
“Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?”
“Nah”, says the Scotsman… “Costs too much…”

Only in America

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him.
To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish
by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house,
he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts.
He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both.
What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything.
He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.
As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees.
He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp.
By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.
He wanders up to another lion and says
"What's the food like here?"
The resident lion says:
"Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."

Hi Folks!! Meet the Missus and the gang

If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you follow these instructions:
1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start up your laptop.
4. Make sure the dude who is annoying you, can see the screen of your laptop.
5. Close your eyes and tilt your head upwards to the sky
and move your lips like you are praying.

This is wonderful harmless (in)action from some brilliant people.
would have loved to be there....
just click on the link below.

Thanks Josie Jamieson

G'day Mate


Elephant Stew
Here’s a great recipe I think I might try.
1 medium elephant
Brown gravy
Salt & Pepper
2 Rabbits (optional)
Cut elephant into bite size pieces.
This should take about two months.
Ad enough brown gravy to cover.
Cook over 465 F kerosene fire for about four weeks.
Serves 3,800.
Note: If more are expected, two rabbits may be added,
but do this only if necessary,
as most people do not like hare in their stew.


One of my all time favourite groups in the 60's were
The Dave Clark Five
Here are two of their lesser known hits
RIP Mike Smith

Everybody Knows

No comments: