Wednesday, June 4, 2008



Jesus Christ Superstar.....The Musical
My bathroom scales were trying to tell me something


Two main secrets of life
Angelina says: "Your honor, we beena marry 25 years
ana Giuseppi he always picka his nose
ana when we maka love he a never letsa me on topa.
I justa canna taka dis nomor."
The judge listens solemnly and then addresses Giuseppi.
"Giuseppi, is disa true? You always a picka your nose and you never let Angelina on top??
What have you gotta say fora yourself?"
Giuseppi says: "Well your honor, itsa true.
I picka my nose a lot and, yeah, Angelina, I tella her she'sa gotta be onna da bottom.
Itsa all go's aback to when I'mma a younga boy.
My poppa, he's a very smarta man. I always do ev'ryting he'sa say.
My poppa one day he says,
"Giuseppi, I gotta tella you da two main secrets ofa hava successful life:
Number one, you always keepa your nose clean.
Ana number two, never screw up!"
Here is some early footage of Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Buddy Holly and Carl Perkins
that I came accross on You Tube

Today's Cartoons...[Misc]

A group of Canadians was traveling by tour bus through Holland.
As they stopped at a cheese farm,
a young guide led them through a process of cheese making,
explaining that goat’s milk was used.
She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.
These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced.
She then asked, “What do you do in Canada with your old goats that aren’t producing?”
A spry old gentleman answered,
“They send us on bus tours.”


Western Australia's own Rolf Harris [the boy from Bassendean] and of
"Tie my Kangaroo down sport" fame with his version of
Stairway to Heaven

A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes.
One boy answered “We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby
and every day my mother kneels in front of it.”
The next little boy said “We have a brass statue of a man seated with crossed legs
and a Chinese face, and every day my parents burn an incense stick before it.”
Then a third boy piped up:
“In the bathroom we have a little platform with numbers on it.
Every day my mother stands on it first thing in the morning and screams
“OH MY GOD!!!”

There was the guy who loved nothing better than to sit at nearby bar for long evenings
and get stoned with his cronies.
But his wife was a social climber, and was prone to having her “ladies” in for bridge etc.
This one night she didn’t want him to be around embarrassing her,
so she told him to stay out as late as he wished,
just don’t come in and make another scene.
Well, he came in the back door a little early,
as she was preparing tea and some delicate little sandwiches,
and was infuriated at his early return home.
“You keep your mouth shut, and go upstairs to bed” she told him.
“Oh, relax,” says he, “I’ll just take a cup of coffee, say good evening to the ladies,
and I’ll be gone.”
“Just keep your mouth shut,” says she again.
Well, when she finally went back into the living room, all the ladies were gone,
and he sat there alone.
She ‘flipped’ and told him she was going to divorce him and take everything he had,
but he said, “wait a minute, you have to hear my side of the story.”
“I came in here , sat down, and said good evening to the ladies,
and they carried on.
One lady said she was having trouble with mice in her house,
and another lady suggested she stuff their holes with steel wool,
and all I said was,
who is going to hold their little legs while you do it?

Snorting Coke!!!

Two great pictures I seen on Its Knutz


Raisin bread
A general store owner hired a young female clerk who liked to wear
very short skirts and thong panties.
One day, a young man entered the store, glanced at the clerk,
and glanced at the loaves of bread behind the counter.
Noticing the length of her skirt (or general lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread,
he had a brilliant idea.
"I'd like some raisin bread, please," the man said politely.
The female clerk nodded and climbed up a ladder to reach the raisin bread,
which was located on the very top shelf.
The young man, standing almost directly beneath her, was provided with an excellent view,
just as he surmised he would be.
Once she descended the ladder, he mused that he really should get two loaves,
as he was having company for dinner.
As the clerk retrieved the second loaf of bread,
one of the other male customers noticed what was going on.
Thinking quickly, he requested his own loaf of raisin bread,
so he could continue to enjoy the view.
With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seemed to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male patron was asking for raisin bread,
just to see the clerk climb up and down.
After many trips, she became tired and irritated
and began thinking that she would have to try this bread for herself!
Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stopped and fumed,
glaring at the men standing below.
She noticed an elderly man standing amongst the crowd staring up at her.
Thinking it might save her a trip, she yelled at the elderly man,
"Is yours raisin, too?"
"No," croaked the old man,
"But it's startin' to quiver."

A real trip down the nostalgia track today
Way back in 1958 when Iwas just a very young bloke these were big hits
The only way you heard them was on the hit parade on the radio
or you knew some one who had a early record player and had the 45rpm recording
Laurie London....He's got the whole world in his hands

Laurie London, born in 1944 in London England,
had just turned 13 when he recorded "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands".
In April, 1958 his pop treatment of this gospel standard became the No. 1 record
in the nation and stayed at #1 for 4 weeks.
Surprisingly, he never had another chart hit.
Very rarely did an artist have a No. 1 hit,
yet be unable to even make the Top 100 with any of their follow-ups.
The song was produced by George Martin who,
of course, later went on to produce The Beatles' recordings,
which were also on Parlophone Records.
1958 clip of the best harmonising duo ..ever
The Everly Brothers...Bird Dog and Till I kissed her


Half-Redneck said...

I had to comment on the "Butter Face" cartoon. My brother uses that term all the time. I have also heard him call girls he's dated his "moped" - something that you're embarassed to let your friends know you have, but it's fun to ride.

My brother needs to find some classier chicks I think!

Phils Phun said...

Will have to remember "Moped "
No doubt your brother is enjoying himself