Wednesday, November 26, 2008

183 ...................................................................

Stupid Test ........ [Will you pass]
Test your Awareness
The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers.
"Yes," he said.
"I do. My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Very good," says the teacher.
"Your dad did a good job.
What comes after ten?"
"A jack," says the little boy.

No more cats

Very Funny Ad
stolen from Sandee @ Comedy Plus

Diesel powered Camel

Speaking of Camels
Anyone know who this one belongs to???
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Get a load of this cute Whale,
The World's most dangerous creature
move your mouse to the side and back over it.
Check it out, click on cute one
Cute one


Global warming is changing the world's climate rapidily
Icebergs are melting, Oceans are rising, Nature is revolting
Act now, conserve energy, and treat the planet with respect
or we'll have a world at sea

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A man goes to his doctor for his physical
and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.
When he gets there, he discovers the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The female doctor says,
'I'm going to check your prostate today,
but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.
I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees,
then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99'.
The guy obeys and says, '99'.
The doctor says, 'Great. Now turn over on your left side and again,
while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99.
'Again, the guy says, '99.'
The doctor said, 'Very good. Now then,
I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.
I'm going to check your prostate with this hand,
and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way.
Now take a deep breath and say, '99.'
The guy begins, 'One .. Two ..... Three'.
stolen from Miss Cellania

It pays to advertise

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New Zealand beer Ad

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A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach.
He is playing in the water
and she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet,
when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere
and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading.
The water recedes and the boy is no longer there.
Swept away.
She raises her hands to the sky as she screams and cries,
"Lord, how could you?
Haven't I been a wonderful grandmother?
Haven't I been a wonderful mother?
Haven't I kept a kosher home?
Haven't I given to B'nai B'rith?
Haven't I given to Hadassah?
Haven't I lit candles every Friday night?
Haven't I tried my very best to live a life that you would be proud of?"
A voice booms from the sky,
"Okay, okay!"
A few minutes later, another huge wave appears out of nowhere
and crashes on the beach.
As the water recedes, the boy is standing there,
smiling and splashing around as if nothing had ever happened.
The voice booms again.
"I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied?"
She says, "He had a hat."

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students
might be a little confused about Jesus Christ
because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth.
He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago,
that He grew up, etc.
So he asked his class,
"Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said,
"He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered,
"He's in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out,
"I know! ! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny said,
"Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells,
"Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"
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Bud Light
Thanks Brett

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Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Bwahahahahahaha, now that was a great beer ad. :)

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I missed every single one of these changes. Every single one. I'm leaving now since I'm too stupid to be here. Bwahahahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day. :)

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I'm so stealing the numbers joke. It will post on Saturday. I'll give you credit of course. Have a great day. :)

Gran said...

I missed them all! I was so focused on the actors and the dialogue, I missed every bloomin' one!