Monday, April 25, 2011


in Maori and English


Some Easter Cartoons

All I need to know I learned from the Easter Bunny!

Don't put all your eggs in one basket. 
Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
There's no such thing as too much candy.
All work and no play can make you a basket case.
A cute tail attracts a lot of attention.
Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
Some body parts should be floppy.
Keep your paws off of other people's jelly beans.
Good things come in small, sugar coated packages.
The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.
To show your true colors, you have to come out of the shell.
The best things in life are still sweet and gooey


This is another one of those video's that has been around for awhile
 but is very funny and worth a re-run


This is so true here in Australia also


A woman walks past three men in the office who are all bemoaning the fact
 they are about to be audited during the coming month.
 Says the first guy with a groan, "I'm screwed!"

"I'm screwed, too!" says the other guy, slapping his forehead.
"Guys, I am about to be screwed beyond all recognition by this audit!"
exclaims the third guy in anguish.
Just then, one of the guys notices the woman who has been standing there listening.
 She now has a very thoughtful look on her face.
"Are you OK?" asks the guy.
"Yes," replies the woman,
 "but I was wondering...
 How do I go about getting audited?"


thanks Liz Z


Read this 'before' viewing the attached video....
The 'Dueling Banjos' (guitar & banjo) scene
was NOT part of the original script in the movie,
until the cameraman happened to catch it on film.
NOTE: The family of the boy was well paid and beat poverty by accident.
The guy playing the guitar in Deliverance is Ronnie Cox.
This is an excerpt of the film "Deliverance".
 When the filming group of the movie stopped at a gas station somewhere,
 one of the actors started to play a tune of the film on his guitar.
An Autistic boy was watching the filming at the gas station and heard the music.
He started to respond with notes from his banjo.
 This started an incredible dialogue of instruments and the autistic boy expressed himself
 in probably the only form in which he was prepared to communicate.
This is how this remarkable scene, 'that was included in the movie',
 was developed and filmed.
Look at the expression of the boy.
 At first, he seems uncertain and waiting but as the intensity of the music progressed,
 his lost expression was gone and an expression of pleasure and happiness was recovered,
 thanks to this guitar player (Ronnie Cox) who happened to pass by.
After this magic moment passed, the boy returned into himself
leaving this part of his externalized beauty in the film..
 a truly memorable part of the movie.

Watch the little boy especially at the end.

thanks Liz Z


Those funny animals


in New Zealand




Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddie: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”


Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddie: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”


Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddie: “Yes, you miss the ball much closer now.”


Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddie: “Eventually.”


Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddie: “I don’t think so, that would be too much of a coincidence.”


Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too
much of a distraction.”
Caddie: “It’s not a watch – it’s a compass.”


Golfer: “How do you like my game?”
Caddie: “Very good, but personally, I prefer golf.”


Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddie: “The way you play, it’s a sin on any day.”


Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddie: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”

#1 Best Caddie Comment:

Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddy: “It’s been a long time since



Todays Music

Willie Nelson




Hillbilly Mirror

After living in the remote wilderness of West Virginia all his life,
 an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city.
 In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it.
Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him,
'How about that! Here's a picture of my Daddy.
He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his Daddy,
but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father,
 so he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields,
 he would go there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.
One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror.
As she looked into the glass, she fumed:
'So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with.'

thanks Liz Z


In the days of old, when Genghis Kahn's men were running over Asia,
 they set their sights on further shores.
 Rather than 'huns,' these warriors were known as Kahn's men,
or simply, Kahns.

When they had conquered all the way to the water's edge,
 they build boats, gathered their loot, and bravely went to sea.
 By a sad twist of fate, they encountered an island of lepers,
which resulted in most of the crew being infected.
Hastily leaving that island, they set sail again,
 but by the time they reached Ireland,
 there wasn't much left of them.
 Disembarking on stubby limbs, they set forth,
 but were soon set upon by the natives for the riches they carried.
Rotted away, but still clever, they hid on the island and awaited rescue,
 and the locals never did get their hands on the treasure.
 And that's how the story of the little people got started in Ireland
-- the leper Kahn's and their pots of gold.
Cunning though diseased, the Kahns were never fooled
 by those who tried to trick them out of their pots of gold
 by swapping them for an empty pot
-- thus the saying:
"You cannot change a leper's pots."


The Kings Speech...American Style



USS JFK docking in Malta
thanks Kitty L




So why did the British wear red coats in battle?
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.
 During one battle, the French captured an British colonel.
 They took him to their headquarters,
 and the French general began to question him.
Finally, as an afterthought, the French general asked,
 "Why do you British officers all wear red coats?
Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"
In his bland way, the officer informed the general that the reason
 British officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot,
 the blood won't show, and the men they are leading won't panic.
And that is why, from that day to this,
all French Army officers wear brown trousers.




thanks Liz Z



Western Australia
Dirk Hartog Island [near Shark Bay]



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hughmon said...

To all my friends Down Under - enjoy the ANZAC day celebrations, and hoist a pint with your friends. "Lest We Forget". Hugh from Oregon USA

Phils Phun said...

Thanks Hugh
Will have a schooner today and think of all those everywhere who make the ultimate scarifice
cheers from down under

Sandee said...

Here's a toast to you on ANZAC day.

I stole three of your jokes today. The health one, the nun one and the audit one. All great ones. I've given you credit as always.

Have a terrific day. :)

Phils Phun said...

no worries Sandeee my pleasure