Phils Phun

509

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The cruise ship docked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below.
The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her seventies appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief.
As she stepped down, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother. You can come down now."

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Those Funny Animals

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An Afghanistan diplomat. visiting the US for the first time. was being wined and dined by the State Department. The diplomat was not used to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies, etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant. Abdul. to fetch him a glass of water.

Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty handed.

"Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the diplomat.

"A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul,

"A man is sitting on the well!"

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Wedding Proposal

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thanks Kitty L

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Amanda read over the report from Joel's teacher. "And she says that, in addition to being late this morning, you were missing your Science homework." "But, Ma...," Joel began. "I was headed out the driveway with my books, and my homework, when one of the goats came after me. I don't know how he got out of the pen, but he did. And he butted me, and I dropped everything, and he picked up my loose leaf with the homework assignment, and he ate it. And so I missed the bus, too, and had to walk."
"Right," replied Amanda, eyeing the goats. "Okay, let's go over to the pen and you tell me which one managed to get out and do all this. And miraculously get back in."
The two walked the eighty-odd feet to the fence. Joel pointed out a modestly-sized tan-and-white. "That one," he asserted. The goats had been listening with interest to this whole tirade, which had undoubtedly carried to the entire neighborhood.
The goat in question stepped back a few feet and looked at his pals. "I have no clue what the kid's talking about. But I absolutely refuse to be the escaped goat in this madness." -- Bob Dvorak

There was this burglar who broke into the AT&T consumer products warehouse, and was filling his bags with various telephones when he heard police sirens getting near. He fled to a nearby music hall where a concert was going on and hid among the horn sections. The police wandered through, but were unable to find him among the musicians. He fit right in, having those sacks o' phones.

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A man's incessant remote-control channel surfing was driving his wife nuts. "It really irks me when you flip through the channels like that," she said.

When he began to whistle, she snapped, "Now what are you doing?"

He answered, "I thought I should whistle while I irk."

thanks Toni S