Phils Phun

519

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La Luna

this a delightful short film

view in full screen and make sure yo watch it all

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Those Funny Animals

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They were looking down into the depths of the Grand Canyon.
“Do you know,” asked the guide, “that it took millions and millions
of years for this great abyss to be carved out?”
“Well, I’ll be darned,” exclaimed the traveler. “I never knew this
was a government job.”

Topical Stuff

This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare.
At first the lady said,
”Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare.”
So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in color,
unemployed, lazy, can’t speak English
and have no clue who their daddies are.
They expect me to feed them,
provide them with housing and medical care.
So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.
My dogs get their first checks Friday.
Wow, this is a great country.

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If you remember the great English comedian Tommy Cooper you will enjoy these two clips

Even if you have never heard of Tommy Cooper this is very funny and a delight to watch

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At the Duplex

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Monster Mash

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POSTERS

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The veterinarian called me yesterday:

“Your wife’s here with your cat.

She’s very sick and so I call you to ask if it would be okay to euthanize her?”

“That’s so sad, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Go ahead.”, I said,

“I think the cat knows the way home.”

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Air New Zealand partnered with WETA Workshop on a brand new Hobbit inspired Safety Video. It features cameo appearances including Sir Peter Jackson

Thanks Gordon H

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Just Sheldon and Amy in real life

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A clown moved into an apartment block reserved solely for circus performers.

He liked everything about the apartment.

The kitchen was modern, the bedroom was comfortable and the lounge was spacious. And there were plenty of facilities — cooker, Hoover, refrigerator, washing machine.

The only thing that was missing was an ironing board, something on which he could press his circus uniform after washing it.

“Why is there no ironing board?” he asked the agent. “The lion tamer and the juggler have both got one.”

“You use the window ledge, like the other clowns,” explained the agent. “It’s in your contract. Every clown has a sill for ironing.”

A Mexican named Juan decided that he might be able to supplement his income by investing in, breeding, and selling tropical birds.

He began by buying a large red-billed toucan

and started to raise it in an attempt to discover if he had a flair for handling birds.

He soon discovered that the care and feeding of his rare tropical toucan

was costing much more than he had originally anticipated.

Juan tried to save money by sacrificing his own dietary

well being and began living on basic staples like rice and beans.

Unfortunately, the bird was still very expensive to feed and care for.

Juan experimented. He began feeding his bird the same food he ate.

He was surprised to discover that the bird flourished.

The toucan did wonderfully well eating the same inexpensive food as Juan.

The bird particularly liked rice and beans.

Juan became famous in the annals of bird breeding when it was discovered that

toucan live as cheaply as Juan.

thanks to Archies Archives for the punny jokes

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This a wonderful piece of music from the very talented Celtic Woman

Enjoy

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Seniors

ATM Security

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Victor Borge and the Muppets

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Men and Women

Finished and Complete:

No English dictionary has been able to explain adequately the difference between the two words.

In a recently held linguistic competition held in London, England attended by the best in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man from Bachelors Adventure, was the clear winner with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes.

Here is his answer which made him receive an invitation to dine with the Queen who decided to call him after the contest. He won a trip to travel the world in style and a case of 25 year old Eldorado rum for his answer.

His final question was this.... How to explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED .

Here is his astute answer ....

When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.
And when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED.
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!

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the worlds toughest bridge