Friday, August 16, 2013



Image by FlamingText.com



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This week







 ANNOYING!!!





1. "Everyone is born right-handed...but only the greatest overcome it."

2. "The left side of your brain controls the right side of your body,
 and the right side of your brain controls the left side of your body.
 So only left handed people are in their right mind."

3. Among the Eskimos every left-hander was viewed as a potential sorcerer.

4. Zip Code 25251 is dedicated to left handers.
 Left Hand, West Virginia does allow right hander 
but everyone there is a true "Left Hander."

5. Can you name the fish with both eyes on the left side of it's head? 

6. James A. Garfield was the first left handed president of the USA.
 He was a bit of a show-off about the fact he was also ambidextrous.
 He would amuse visitors by simultaneously 
writing in Latin with one hand and Greek with the other.

7. Mark Twain was born frail and a lefty. 
His mother wrote of him.
 "I could see no promise in him. But I filt it my duty to do the best I could.
 To raise him if I could."

8. Left-handers have an advantage in baseball. 
A lefty batter is a step closer to first base.
 A southpaw pitcher can keep an eye on the runner at first better then a rightie.

9. The term "southpaw" was started by Chicago sportwriters
 in the 1890's to describe left-handed pitchers. 
Pitchers in the Chicago stadium faced west towards home plate.
 Their pitching arm was on the side of town called the South Side.

11. Male southpaws outnumber female southpaws by a two to one ratio.

12. Leftie Albert Einstein was called backwards.
 He learned to speak late and had problems in almost every subject in school
. Don't give up if your left handed child learns slowly.
 Just keep Einstein in mind.

13. Because rudders on ancient sailing vessels were attached to the right side
 they would dock to the left. 
This became "port" side.


15. The ancient Greeks were one of the few people positive towards port-siders.
 Their word for left was "aristera" meaning 'the best'.
 This is we get the word aristocrat.

16. Tuesday is lucky for lefties.
 It was named for the left-handed Scandinavian god Tiw. 
This is the best day to meet a southpaw.

17. The Kerr clan in Scotland believes their surname
 comes from the Gaelic "keir" meaning left.
 Many of their castles were built with counterclockwise winding stairways.
 This gives left-handed swordfighters the advantage
 in defending against right-handed attackers.

18. Napoleon Bonaparte and Josephine
 are probably the most famous left-handed couple in history.
 They married on March 9th.





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Five year old Dancers







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If you’re a visual learner like myself, 
then you know maps, charts and info graphics 
can really help bring data and information to life.



Where 2% of Australia’s Population Lives


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Overall Water Risk Around the World




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Countries That Do Not Use the Metric System



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Where Google Street View is Available




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The World’s Busiest Air Routes in 2012



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The Number of Researchers per Million Inhabitants

Around the World





Map of Where 29,000 Rubber Duckies Made Landfall
 After Falling off a Cargo Ship in the Middle of the Pacific Ocean




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Worldwide Driving Orientation by Country





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McDonald’s Across the World






Global Internet Usage Based on Time of Day





The Longest Straight Line You Can Sail on Earth

(Pakistan to Kamchatka Peninsula, Russia – 20000 miles)





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Amazing Stuff

. A horse gets stuck up to his neck in mud on a beach as the tide rises.  . 
 The incredible story of one woman's loyalty to her horse - 
she spent three hours holding its head above the tide
 after it got stuck in the mud on a beach in Australia
. . His owner, Nicole Graham, who was enjoying an afternoon ride,
 stayed with him as rescuers struggled for three hours to pull him out
. With moments to spare, the 500kg horse, named Astro,
 was freed with the help of a tractor and harness at  Avalon   Beach
  in  Geelong ,  Victoria ,  Australia . 





















 This is Glaucus atlanticus, a sea slug found in tropical 
and temperate waters throughout the world
. This photograph makes the rounds on Facebook
 every few months simply because it's so strangely beautiful.





thanks Kitty L




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The woman in the video found this lion injured 
in the forest and about to die. 
She took the lion with her and nursed the lion back to health.
 When the lion was better, 
she made arrangements with a zoo to take the lion
 and give it a new and happy home.
This video was taken when the woman, 
after some time had passed, 
went to visit the lion to see how he was doing.





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Those Funny Animals




















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Phun Phacts








Medical Phacts





















A guy who loved to travel arrived home
 after visiting nearly every country in the world.
 Because he loved Italian food,
 his wife prepared a giant pizza with all of the toppings
 arranged to resemble a world map
 and invited all of his friends to a party to welcome him home.
 When he saw the giant pizza he exclaimed, 
" Wow, that's wonderful,
 but I can't see the Far East for the cheese."








On a recent trip to the Philippines,
 the President of the United States was visiting Manila 
and taking in the sights.
 He traveled throughout the city and was entertained
 by the artisans wherever he went.
 At one particularly interesting stop,
 he was impressed with the ability of a young man
 who bent himself into the smallest of bundles
 and crammed himself into small boxes and pots,
 time and time again.
 "I simply have to know who that boy is," the President said.
 "Sir," his aide replied. 
"I'm surprised you don't already know him.
 He's the original Manila folder."








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Escalator Fails


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Meanwhile in Russia














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 The things that prove you’re a New Yorker….
1. You say “the city” and expect everyone
 to know that this means Manhattan.


2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty
 or the Empire State Building.



3. You can get into a four-hour argument 

about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park

 at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend,

 but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.


4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

5. The subway makes sense.

6. You believe that being able to swear at people
 in their own language makes you multi-lingual.



7. You’ve considered stabbing someone just for saying 

“The Big Apple”.


8. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

9. You call an 8′ x 10′ plot of patchy grass a yard.

10. You consider Westchester “Upstate”.

11. You think Central Park is “nature.”

12. You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer’s speaking.

13. You’re paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet
 and you think it’s a “steal.”


14. You’ve been to New Jersey twice 
and got hopelessly lost both times.

15. You pay more each month to park your car
 than most people in the  U.S. pay in rent.



16. You haven’t seen more than twelve stars

 in the night sky since you
went away to camp as a kid.

17. You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs
 when most Americans are heading to bed.

18. Your closet is filled with black clothes.

19. You haven’t heard the sound of true absolute silence since 1977,
 and when you did, it terrified you.

20. You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.

21. You take fashion seriously.

22. Being truly alone makes you nervous.

23. You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

24. Going to Brooklyn is considered a “road trip.”

25. America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.

26. You’ve gotten jaywalking down to an art form.

27. You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.
28. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your
toes.
29. $50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

30. You have a minimum of five “worst cab ride ever” stories.

31. You don’t hear sirens anymore.

32. You’ve mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city’s air quality
and what it’s doing to your lungs

.
33. You live in a building with a larger population
 than most American towns.


34. Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean
 your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, 
your laundry guy is Chinese,
 your favorite bartender is Irish,


your favorite diner owner is Greek,

 the 
watch seller on your corner is Senegalese,
 your last cabbie was Pakistani, 
your newsstand guy is Indian 
and your favorite falafal guy is Egyptian.




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Cross-Country Travel
Four women were driving across the country.
Each one was from a different state:
 Idaho, Nebraska, Florida and New York.
Shortly after the trip began, 
the woman from Idaho started pulling potatoes
 from her bag and throwing them out of the window.
“What the heck are you doing?”
 demanded the Nebraskan.
“We have so many of these darn things in Idaho, 
I am just sick of looking at them!”
That made sense to the gal from Nebraska,
 so she began pulling ears of corn from her bag
 and tossing them from the window.
“What are you doing that for?” 
asked the gal from Florida.
“We have so many of these things in Nebraska,
 I am just sick of looking at them!”

Inspired by watching the entire scene, 
the gal from Florida opened the car door
 and pushed the New Yorker out



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This week there was a sink hole drama
 in Florida USA
Here's a few more











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Landing on Ice @ Camp Bameo



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Anklebiters [kids]















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For all of us who are seniors... 
  The reason why baby diapers have brand names 
such as Luvs and Huggies,
 while undergarments for old
people are called Depends:


When babies crap in their pants,
 people are still gonna Luv'em and Hug'em.




When old people crap in their pants
 it Depends on who's in the will!



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Blast from the Past
Patsy Cline



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POSTERS






















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Longest Word











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I was in Ft. Myers, Florida the other day 
and I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
 “I miss Detroit”.
So, I broke the window, stole the radio,
 shot out two of the tires, 
added an Obama bumper sticker 
and left a note that read, 
“I hope this helps!




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Amazing Humans





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A nurse was nurse caring for a couple’s newborn first child, a son,
after his caesarean birth.
 Since the mother was asleep under general anesthesia
 we took our tiny charge directly to the newborn nursery
 to introduce him to his daddy.
 While cuddling his son for the first time,
 he noticed the baby’s ears conspicuously 
standing out from his head. 
He expressed his concern that some kids
 might call his son names like “Dumbo.” 
The pediatrician reassured the new dad that his son was healthy,
 the ears could be easily corrected later during childhood. 
The father still worried about his wife’s reaction
 to those large protruding ears.
 “She doesn’t take things as easily as I do,” he worried.
 By this time, the new mother was ready to meet her precious son.
the nurse placed the tiny bundle in his mother’s arms
 and eased the blanket back so that she could gaze
 upon her child for the first time.
 She took one look at her baby’s face
 and looked to her husband and gasped,
 “Oh, Honey! Look! He has your ears!”




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Modes of Transport













Meanwhile in Brazil


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Something to think about!!!!









Japanese Ingenuity -- Save your plastic
This is one of the most amazing  
and break-throughs in technology I have ever seen!!!
Why aren't we doing this now?
A case of Japanese ingenuity and perseverance
 What is more important would be the marketing
 and very low cost to make it mandatory
 to have one of these in every home.

The sound is all in Japanese.
 Just turn off the sound, read the subtitles and watch.
 What a great discovery




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Su Wong married Lee Wong.
The next year, the Wongs had a new baby.

The nurse brought out a lovely, healthy, bouncy,
but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

“Congratulations,” said the nurse to the new parents.

“By the way Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong think
of your new baby?”

The puzzled father looked at his new baby boy and said,

“You sure, OUR baby”, said a startled Mr Wong?

“Of course”, said the nurse, 
“This hospital has never mixed up a baby in over 50 years. 
Why do you ask?”
“Well, two Wong’s don’t make a white.”





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This weeks signs
















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PHILS PHILOSOPHY
 can you make it





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All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.




2 comments:

Sandee said...

Wife of the year had be laughing out loud.

Hubby is left handed. Left handed people rock.

Have a fabulous day Phil. :)

Sandee said...

I loved the wife of the year and all the signs. I always dress for the body I have.

Have a fabulous day. :)