Saturday, September 14, 2013






Image by FlamingText.com




563


---------------------------

The World is still full of Awesome People















Thai Mobile Ad  



------------------------







Tarzan with a twist








------------------








---------------------

Vincent



-------------------------------




Those Funny Animals




If it fits ....Isit











-----------------------




Giraffe Slug Fest






-----------------------




A guy’s mother is having her 60th birthday party,
 and he wants to find her a really special present.
 After weeks of searching to no avail, and
a mere hour before his mother’s birthday party is supposed to start,
 he finds himself in a pet shop.
 He tells the proprietor about his problem, and the owner says,
 “Why don’t you buy her a parrot?”
“A parrot?” the guy exclaims,
 “What would she do with a parrot?”
The owner goes on, “This is no ordinary parrot.
 He talks!”
“So? He’s a parrot – he’s supposed to talk!”
“Yeah, but this is no ordinary parrot.
 He talks like a human being – not a bird.
 He actually engages you in conversation!
 Here, let me show you!” 
And so the owner starts chatting with the bird,
 and sure enough, the parrot answers him
 – responds to him –
 even goes as far as asking questions of his own.”
The man is flabbergasted, but delighted. 
He’s finally found the perfect gift for his mother!
 He pays the exorbitant price of $5000 for the parrot
 and takes it to his mother’s birthday party. 
Unfortunately, there are so many people already there,
 that he only has time to present her with the gift without an explanation.
 The party goes late,
 and the man decides to stay over instead of driving all the way home.
The next morning,
 the guy awakes to the aroma of his mother cooking breakfast in the kitchen.
 He goes downstairs, and to his horror,
 realizes she is cooking the parrot!
“Mom!” “What are you doing?”
His mother replies, 
“I’m cooking the chicken you bought me for my present!”
“That wasn’t a chicken, Mom! 
That was a five thousand dollar parrot!”
“My goodness,” says the mother, 
“That seems like an awful lot of money to spend on a parrot…”
The guy is practically in tears as he says, 
“You don’t understand, Mom! 
That was a very special parrot!
 He talked – but not like a parrot,
 like a real human being – not a bird. 
He’d actually engage you in conversation!”
The mother stops and thinks for a few seconds and then replies,
“Well, he shoulda said something.”



----------------------------



Phun Phacts









---------------------------


For a Graveyard game of Golf  
Click this link






-------------------------




In the heyday of the Russian Empire,
 the representatives of monarchy were quite diligent
 in ferreting out any possible source of revenue. 
Naturally, the long-suffering peasantry used every mechanism
 to avoid the tax collectors,
 but sometimes circumstances conspired to defeat 
even the cleverest and most ambitious farmer.

The problem is well illustrated by the fate of one Ivan Sergeivitch,
 who invested a substantial sum of money in improving the fertility of his fields.
 As a result, his yields of barley, wheat,
 and other grains grew apace.

Soon he decided to turn his yield directly into consumer products,
 and he began selling a variety of baked goods,
 such as bread, rolls, and pastries. 
As his income increased, he invested in additional acreage,
 and in turn, in increased sales of his baked goods
. In other words, he became the quintessential capitalist.

As sometimes happens, though,
 his productivity outstripped his ability to sell the finished product,
and so he resorted to the inevitable:
 He put up signs along the roads advertising his bakery and its goods.

This unfortunate step brought him to the attention of the authorities, 
who imposed a list of punishing taxes on his once-thriving operation.

As a neighbor pointed out to the once-again-poor Ivan,
it was just another reason for the existence of the old Russian proverb:
 "Don't let the tsars get in your ryes."






 A young woman had just filled a washing machine
 in the Laundromat when she noticed a man begin removing shoes
 from another washing machine that had just finished its spin dry cycle.
 The man's entire washing load consisted of nothing but sneakers
 and he tossed them into the gaping hole of the dryer against the wall.
 When he had finished, he had loaded at least ten pairs of sneakers into the dryer
. The man then struggled to remove the change needed for the dryer from his pocket.
 His task was made more difficult by the tight fitting jeans he wore.
 So, as he withdrew his hand from his pocket,
 a number of dimes fell from his fist and rolled around the floor.

Immediately, the man fell to the floor and began to retrieve his dimes.
 But, alas, they had rolled beneath the washing machines 
and were not accessible. 
He turned to the young woman and said:
 "This has not been my day. Everything has gone wrong. 
And this has been the icing on the cake."

"There has to be some good in every day," the young woman said.
 "Surely this incident can't be as bad as you make it out to be."

"Ah. But you are wrong my friend," he replied
. "What you don't realize is that these are the dimes that dry men's soles."







----------------------

Flash Mob



---------------------------


France
Targets English Tourists











----------------------------










Meanwhile at Starbucks









Canadian Coffee



--------------------------

Hamsters





-------------------------


 Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him, 
"Do you want the winner of the next race?"
Paddy replies "No tanks, I couldn't keep it,
I've only got a small garden."


Paddy and Mick found 2 hand grenades
 and decided to take them to the police station.
Mick, "What if one explodes before we can get there?"
Paddy, “We'll tell a fib and say we only found one!”

A coach load of Paddies on a mystery tour 
decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going. 
The driver won £52!



Paddy's racing snail was not winning races anymore
So he decided to take its shell off to reduce its weight 
and make him more aerodynamic but it didn’t work,
 if anything it made him more sluggish.

Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires sticking out 
of it so he phones the police and says, 
"Bejesas, I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb.
The operator asks, 
"Is it tickin? 
 Paddy says, "No I tink it's turkey"






---------------------------------




Africa is not for wimps









-----------------------

High Lining









----------------------------







POSTERS














Majestic moment with a Bison



-----------------------------


Who cares about the Rules!!!









Seniors









Swedish Magic  ...Funny




------------------------


WINE






---------------------------

The Piano Guys




-------------



A collection of odd pictures from the Internet


















------------------------



Sunshine


Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely.
Sunshine almost always make me high

If I had a day that I could give you
I'd give to you a day just like today.
If I had a song that I could sing for you.
I'd sing a song to make you feel this way.

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely.
Sunshine almost always make me high

If I had a tale that I could tell you
I'd tell a tale sure to make you smile.
If I had a wish that I could wish for you.
I'd make a wish for sunshine all the while.

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely.
Sunshine almost always make me high

Sunshine almost all the time makes me high.
Sunshine almost


----------------------------


Shipping Facts










----------------------


Wheelchairs Commercial




---------------------------



A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish. “I think it’s got
epilepsy,” he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, “It seems
calm enough to me.” The blonde man says, “Wait, I haven’t taken it out
of the bowl yet.”


-------------------------------

This weeks Signs











----------------------------


PHILS    PHILOSOPHY




Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.



1 comment:

Sandee said...

I takes me 45 minutes to an hour to view all your Saturday offerings. Way cool.

I love many things, but loved the giraffe video and was glad he was alright.

Love the government one too. That one was spot on.

Have a terrific day. :)