Saturday, October 12, 2013






Image by FlamingText.com



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Wife Kidnapped




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Cool World Pictures









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Ten Things your dog will tell you


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  Those Funny Animals














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A new Table Tennis Star is here







The Owl and the Pussy cat

thanks Liz Z



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A farmer stood leaning on a fence at the edge of his property
 He watched as a red sports car came over the top of a hill
and followed the road up to the spot where he stood. 
The driver pulled over to the side of the road 
and called out to the farmer. 
“Do you know how I can get to Route 91?” 
the driver asked. 
The farmer thought for a few seconds. 
Then he said, “Nope.”
 “Do you know where the nearest turnpike entrance is?” 
the driver asked.
 “Nope.” 
“How about the town of Hadley. 
Do you know which direction it is from here?” 
“Nope.” 
Exasperated, the driver raced his engine. 
“You don’t know very much, do you?” he said.
 “Nope,” 
the farmer replied.
 “But I’m not lost.”




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Topical
















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Tom Hanks.........    the Movie




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Useless Information









It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted 
in the middle of a busy intersection.
Traffic quickly piled up in all directions,
 and a woman rushed to help him. 
As she knelt down to loosen his collar,
a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said,
 “It’s all right honey, I’ve had a course in first aid.”
 The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man’s pulse
 and prepared to administer artificial respiration.
 At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said,
 “When you get to the part about calling a doctor,
 I’m already here.”


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It was a beautiful summer in Sweden,
 and all the Swedish cows were enjoying excellent grass crops.
 There was more than enough grass to go around, 
and all through the fjords and dells 
you could hear the cows moo-ing with happiness.

But some time in late July,
 there arrived a band of roughhousing moose who muscled the cows
 out of the way and began eating more grass than was seemingly possible.

Then, just when it looked like things couldn't get worse,
 the moose started to throw up all over the place, 
nauseated from their grassy feasting.

For the rest of the summer, the farmers could be heard complaining and singing,
 The Hills Are Alive With the Sounds of Moose Sick.







A certain artificial sweetener company
 wanted to spruce up its image with a big new ad campaign. 

The marketing department quickly divided
 into two squabbling factions. 
One group wanted to do a "Big Band Nostalgia" theme, 
sponsoring some jazzy, happenin' musical events,
 while the other group was dead set on a tribute 
to the classic movie Ben-Hur, 
complete with a real live reenactment of the iconic chariot race. 

As the deadline approached, no one would budge, 
so finally the two sides were forced to compromise.
 When the big boss came to see the finished product, 
he was presented with a snappy jazzy orchestra 
seated in a giant Roman vehicle. 

"What is that?" he cried. 

"Well sir," replied his V.P. of marketing, 
"That is the Sweet Low swing chariot!" 












Robin Hood and his merry men were in Sherwood Forest
 one night celebrating, and imbibing. 
They all became inebriated, and then Friar Tuck began to sing.
 He became louder with each drink.
 Robin Hood, fearing that the Sheriff of Nottingham might hear the band, 
dragged the Friar deep into the woods.
 He then tucked him into the river, but the song lingered on.
 The moral of the story: 
You can lead a drunk to water but you can't make him hoarse



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POSTERS










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After a young couple brought their new baby home, 
the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.
 “I’m busy,” he said, “I’ll do the next one.” 
The next time came around and she asked again
 The husband looked puzzled, 
“Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper.
 I meant the next baby!



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Animals Saving the Planet













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Rare Photo's












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 In a promotion stunt for the upcoming remake 
of Stephen King's Carrie,
a young woman discovers her telekinetic abilities
after a random stranger accidentally
 spills coffee on her table at a coffee shop





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Meanwhile in Scotland














thanks Gordon H




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Denmark Bus Ad





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Water Trick






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More Cool Pictures

Sunrise on Easter Island



Nature overtake on the Great Wall



Coolest Duck ever



Glacial Waterfall



First Flight



Multi Colored Iceberg




Fly by Eclipse


Tsunami Cloud



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As promised
Two more Instrumental Hits



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This Weeks Funny Signs















An attractive young lady with raven-black hair 
and wide eyes approached the gates of Heaven. 
Looking her over, St. Peter said,
 “And may I ask, young lady, if you are a virgin?”
 “I am,” was her demure reply.
 Not wanting to appear distrustful but having to be cautious,
 St. Peter called over an angel to examine her.
 Several minutes later the angel returned.
 “She’s a virgin,” the angel stated,
 “though I’m obliged to inform you that she *does*
 have seven small dents in her maidenhead.” 
Thanking him, St. Peter took his place behind the ledger 
and faced the girl.
 “Well, miss, we’re going to admit you
. What is your name?”
 She replied sweetly,
 “Snow White.”


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WESTERN AUSTRALIA
Lucky Bay....   near Esperance on the South Coast


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Heaven
Make sure you get the important message at the end of this video




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PHILS  PHILOSOPHY





Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.






5 comments:

Sandee said...

Some great ones this week Phil. Love the 10 things about dogs the very best. Ours is turning 11 the 26th of this month.

Have a terrific day. :)

Dave said...

Greetings from the USA. I really love your blog and look forward to it each week. Especially liked the animals save the planet post this week. Keep it up!

Phils Phun said...

thanks Sandee and Dave your support and comments are greatly appreciated.... all the very best from the land down under

Bunk Strutts said...

Excellent collection, Phil. Imma gonna steal me some, and I'll fax you a Toohey's.

Tracy said...

I love the jokes about the government shutdown! Funny because they're true ... ;)