Saturday, March 1, 2014




Image by FlamingText.com



587



Western Australia

Spot the Aussie holding the flag

Overlooking the Pentecost River, The Kimberley




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Facebook just bought WhatsApp for $19 billion. 
Here are things that would cost you less to buy.









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The Beatles by numbers



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Those Funny Animals




























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Cuteness!!!

This lost foal was wandering on his own close to the sea 
so this family rescued him. 
The foal got very attached to this 4-year-old girl.
 So cute!





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A Star is born




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Awesome pictures from around the World










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Robotic Dancing on America's Got Talent
Almost too good to be true


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In the heyday of the Russian Empire, 
the representatives of monarchy were quite diligent 
in ferreting out any possible source of revenue. 
 Naturally, the long-suffering peasantry 
used every mechanism to avoid the tax collectors,
 but sometimes circumstances conspired to defeat 
even the cleverest and most ambitious farmer.

     The problem is well illustrated by the fate of one Ivan Sergeivitch, 
who invested a substantial sum of money 
in improving the fertility of his fields.  
As a result, his yields of barley, 
wheat, and other grains grew apace.
     Soon he decided to turn his yield directly 
into consumer products, and he began selling a variety of baked goods, 
such as bread, rolls and pastries.  
As his income increased, he invested in additional acreage, and, in turn, 
in increased sales of his baked goods. 
 In other words, he became the quintessential capitalist.
     As sometimes happens, though, his productivity outstripped 
his ability to sell the finished product,
 and so he resorted to the inevitable:
  He put up signs along the roads advertising
 his bakery and its goods.
     This unfortunate step brought him to the attention 
of the authorities, who imposed a list of punishing taxes 
on his once-thriving operation.
     As a neighbor pointed out to the once-again-poor Ivan, 
it was just another reason for the existence of the old Russian proverb:  
"Don't let the tsars get in your ryes."







It's hard to believe that Lucy and I are actually getting married,
 considering the fact that her multi-millionaire father 
owns the local NFL franchise, 
and I'm just a lowly, underpaid member of the grounds crew,
 relegated to painting the team logo on the field, 
which is actually a fairly difficult job,
 what with all the little flairs, curlicues 
and swooshes I have to deal with, 
not to mention the texture of the turf itself,
 relative humidity and all the foot traffic that it gets but 
I dye grass





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CANADA























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Ski Lift Fail





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Inspiration





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SENIORS







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Snow Swimming


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POSTERS















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A local drug rehab center had fallen into disrepair
 and the grounds were in shambles.
 The newly hired director assumed the task of upgrading the facility.
 The improvements became the pride of the downtown section
 of the city with newly planted bushes and a lush, thick lawn,
 and accent art scattered everywhere.

The director of the center was known for his humorous approach
 to even the most traumatic of circumstance. 
Considering the service he was providing to the community,
 his constant, upbeat personality was the envy of all who came to know him.

He was also into landscaping with a passion
 and the new lawn and bushes and new, young trees
 were a source of great pride for him.

And so it was not a surprise when he chose a motto
 for the drug rehabilitation center that matched his desires 
for the preservation of the center's good appearance:
 Keep Off The Grass




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One Horse Power
Zero Carbon Footprint






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Something to think about!!













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Hip Hop Dancing Irish Gig




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Beyond the Black Stump




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Four retired Army vets are walking down the street windowshopping.  
Then they turn a corner and see a sign that says, 
"Veterans' Bar" over the doorway of an entry 
into an establishment that doesn't look all that well kept up.  
They look at each other then go in.
    On the inside, they realize in this case, 
they could judge the 'book by it's cover.'  
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 
"Come on in and let me pour one for you!  
What'll it be, gentlemen?"
    There seems to be a fully stocked bar 
so the men all ask for a martini.
  In short time the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis --
 shaken, not stirred, and says, 
"That'll be 40 cents, please."
    The four men stare at the bartender for a moment 
then look at each other
 -- they can't believe their good luck.  
They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis 
and order another round. 
 Again, four excellent martinis are produced 
with the bartender again saying, 
"That's 40 more cents, please."
    They pay the 40 cents but their curiosity 
is more than they can stand. 
 They've each had two martinis 
and so far they've spent less than a dollar.
    Finally one of the men says, 
"How can you afford to serve martinis 
as good as these for a dime a piece?"
    The bartender replies, 
"No doubt you've noticed the d├Ęcor in here.  
And the outside ain't nothin' to write home about. 
 I don't waste money on that stuff.  
But, here's my story.  
I'm a retired Master Sergeant and I always wanted to own a bar. 
 Last year I hit the lottery for $45 million
 and decided to open this place for real veterans.
  Every drink costs a dime; wine, liquor, beer, all the same."
    "Wow. That's quite a story." says one of the men.  
The four of them sipped at their martinis
 and couldn't help but notice three other guys 
at the end of the bar who didn't have a drink in front of them 
-- and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there. 
    One man finished his martini 
and, gestured at the three at the end of the bar
 without drinks and asks the bartender, 
"What's with them?"
    The bartender says, 
"Oh, those are retired Marines.  
They're waiting for 'happy hour.'"


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Unique Restuarants


Dinner in a Gondola





The Safe House





Fortezza Medicea


Sounds of Silence





El Diablo






Isdaan



Disaster Cafe


Kayabukiya Tavern


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Racing champion Jeff Gordon teams up with Pepsi MAX
 to pull a prank on an unsuspecting automotive journalist
who had questioned the authenticity of the original "Test Drive.




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Odds and Ends







Would you ride this Bus!!!!!


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Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him,
 "Do you want the winner of the next race?"

Paddy replies,
 "No tanks, I couldn't afford to feed it."



Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades
 and decided to take them to the police station.
Mick, "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy, "We'll lie and say we only found two!"



A coach load of paddies on a mystery tour 
decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going.....
 The driver won £52!



Paddy's racing snail is not winning races anymore. 
So he decided to take it's shell off to reduce 
it's weight and make him more aerodynamic.
 It didn't work, if anything, it made him more sluggish.



Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires sticking out of it.
 He phones the police and says 
"Bejesas I've just found a sandwich
 dat looks like a bomb."
The operator asks, "Is it tickin?"

Paddy says, "No, I think it's beef."






The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. 
They imported 50 million tons of sand
 from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.







Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
Mick says, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."



Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him.\
 "Did you find the shampoo?" 
Paddy says, 
"Yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."




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This weeks Signs




















PHIL'S  PHILOSOPHY



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All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.


1 comment:

Sandee said...

The ski lift fail had me howling. That was hilarious.

No, I wouldn't ride on that bus on that mountain road. Good grief.

Another great posting Phil.

Have a fabulous day and weekend. ☺